The Land Of Promise Hotel

You really need to head west of the city to find a place like this.
The big dreary exterior white exterior, emblazoned with advertisements for Carlton Draught is enough to scare off most.
Inside the front bar, unchanged in style since the 1960’s, is so fitting of the great Australian stereo type and complete with barflys.
And to top it all off, there is a strip club out the back.

Breasts are pretty cool, I’ll admit. But they’ve got nighttime television for that sort of thing.
I like the six dollar schnitzel. I hate it when they reign you in for a cheap meal only to reveal you need to buy a drink to get it, but, to own the truth, I’d probably have bought a drink anyway, so I’m not TOO fussed.
I couldn’t get a chicken schnitzel. I had to go with beef. But it tasted rather good for a cheap pub meal.
Aside from that, the staff… accomplish what they’re there for, and the vibe’s generally good. You get some weird types here, it’s true, but you get weird types everywhere. They just frequent The Land of Promise with a touch more regularity is all.

The Land of Promise is a dive bar, if ever I’ve seen one.
It takes your eyes several moments to adjust to the dimness of the interior. I wasn’t keen at the promise of «Adult Entertainment» and «Hot Girls» at lunchtime, but I was won over by the promise of a $ 6. Cheapness conquers all.
I expected a lot of lecherous old men, but there were only a few. The rest must have been in the other room with the ‘entertainment.‘
Few women venture into this place. The barmaid is quite gruff, as I imagine she’d have to be.
I ordered my $ 6 fish and chips, and discovered I had to buy a full priced drink, but a coke kept it under $ 10. My other options were a beef schnitzel with salad and chips and any topping, or nachos, or bangers and mash. I saw a schnitzel come out later and regretted not getting one.
The entertainment of the main room of the hotel is a large screen showing the cricket, and a drunk old man, staggering around and talking to everyone. I avoided eye-​contact and sent out my strongest ice queen vibes, and he thankfully left me alone. The other woman who came in wasn’t so lucky, but he didn’t try with her for long, and went back to talking loudly at the cricket.
My fish and chips came very quickly. The chips were nice but a little cool, and the fish was quite small, but very yummy. A perfect size for a lunch. On the side came salad with an odd mayonnaise and mustard dressing, which was surprisingly tasty, and two pieces of buttered bread on the side. That made me chuckle, reminding me of my father who always wants bread with his F&C.
While I’m not keen on the topless women next door, I could really come to like this place. It’s very much a locals venue, and the bar staff know almost everyone who comes in.