Fullhouse Signature

(Note: I’m writing this review from the point of view of someone’s who has a mental and emotional age of 8+ years.)
Despite the fact that this place exists next to our office I’ve never known it to be anything other than a somewhat overpriced pastry place. Imagine my surprise when, upon descending the grand, Gone-​with-​the-​Wind-​take-​me-​back-​to-​Tara, lit-​up staircase, we came face to face with a restaurant decorated by the love child of Alice in Wonderland and a spayed Hello Kitty: fanciful ornate padded chairs, white crystal chandeliers, paper lantern Halloween lanterns, stuffed animals in cubicles, wedding dresses on mannequins, toy mannequins in wedding poses, a baby grand piano, and even a small stage at the front to accommodate any pre-teen’s fantasy wedding with the stuffed bear of her dreams.
Apparently, Full House is REALLY a place to hold little wedding get togethers. On this night there were thankfully no weddings, but only a few diners and a very bewildered group of us perusing a menu full of Chinese/​Western dishes. This means that, like many places in Asia, the restaurant offers western food suited to the Asian palate. (If you are from the west and this concept is foreign to you, ask yourself, «Is this what the Chinese really eat?» the next time you find yourself in a Lucky Dragon, Happy Dragon, Jade/​Moon/​Lucky Palace restaurant that serves a variety of Chinese dishes, from General Tsao’s Chicken to Bi Bim Bap to sushi and Phad Thai.)
As with most restaurants who don’t have their act together, the service vacillated between non-​existent and no-​thank-​you-​I-​can-​wipe-​my-​own-​mouth. It was a long time before our group of eight found someone to take our orders, and when we did, the server kept coming back to ask us the same thing over and over. Water was served to other tables, who’d arrived after us, first. We had to ask for water — after which we received it by the bucket-​loads.
The food was super disappointing. Everyone except for me got the set menu, consisting of an appetizer, soup, entrée and dessert. After the soup and app, everything went downhill. The steaks (ranging from medium rare to well done), were from a part of the cow that obviously had a lot of use. One person in our group tried to cut her cow for five straight minutes without any success, after which she threw down the cutlery and ordered a Scotch on the rocks. Those who ordered the salmon said it was very bland. Only my spaghetti with pancetta was good, although so salty that I finally had the server position himself and pour his pitcher of water directly into my mouth.
The service was also abysmally slow. We arrived at 6:30pm and didn’t leave till 9:15pm.
The restaurant was filled with women in the 20-​something age range, and a few were there with bewildered boyfriends who were trying to rack up extra brownie points. Advice to the men — it’s less painful to be neutered.
I realize the concept is to sell us on the cutesy-​ness of the place, but when I enter a restaurant which doubles as the playhouse for a 10-​year old, I’d prefer food that’s not been cooked by her Barbie BBQ grill play set. With a total bill of HKD2700 for 8 people, it might not be the most expensive restaurant in HK, but in my opinion, that’s already HKD2700 too much.