The Erotic Bakery

I’m sorry it closed. Fun place, X-​rated pastries, and a fair selection of explicit birthday cards.

It was a sad day when this iconic bakery closed. It has re-​opened as the Art of Confections! A custom cake shop and coffee house. Swing by and choose something from the Erection Confection Section!

Coming from a conservative family in Wyoming one would think I would squirm at the fact of the birds and the bees, especially when sex and humor were mixed. Maybe I can thank my cousins for not being so uptight about such things. Or the natural curiosity and a sense of rebellion in regards to sex were just there all along. Regardless sex is a part of life whether you want to own up to it or not and adding humorous twists to it makes life just a little more bearable during frustrating and perhaps lonely times.
Maybe every big city has something like The Erotic Bakery. Big city meaning a metro area that is over two million people or maybe I am just lucky. When I lived in Denver they also had a bakery very similar to The Erotic Bakery, Bakery Le Sensual. Maybe I am just lucky that Denver and Seattle both have bakeries like this and may be assuming too much that every big city has one.
Steve and I went here a few weeks back and got a chuckle out of the penis and vagina cupcakes and full size cakes. The little cupcakes are $ 9.00 a piece but that is ok because you are getting a little something «extra» and unique at this particular bakery.
The Erotic Bakery is also set up much like a botique. There are cards, gag gifts and adult toys to further emphasize your theme for the lucky recipient.
I figured I should get a review out for this business as soon as I could. The reason being was that while looking at The Stranger (the week of September 10 – 16 of 2014) under the the Drunk of the Week picture displayed two drunks indulging or perhaps… engaging in one of the cakes from The Erotic Bakery. Under the picture there was a description, trying to piece together what was happening in the picture. The excerpt went on to say that at the end of September The Erotic Bakery would close. It is a real shame to hear this because the place has been around for quite some time. They opened back in 1986. But like all things, this business too will sadly come to pass.
So hurry and get your sexy, funny and gross cakes before the end of the month before it is too late. That is about two weeks left. So dive in for a quickie. Lol!

I stopped in and was disappointed by the numerous and obvious signs forbidding any photography. I was greeted promptly upon entering the small store by the gentleman working that day. He was polite, but I also got the feeling he was keeping track of me so I wouldn’t take any photos. Keeping his eye on me…
Another reviewer said this place is closing, which is sad to hear, though I don’t live close enough to visit again soon (I’m in California and was just passing through). I wish I had had a store like this when I was in high school and needed a naughty birthday cake. These are so beautiful and whimsical!
I ended up buying a naughty cookie for $ 5. It was expensive, but the detail is very nice and the effort they put into their products is obvious.

My friends and I ordered a penis cake for my friend’s birthday off of their website. I was worried at first that as it was a novelty bakery, the flavor of the actual cake would be compromised. It wasn’t! The cake was delicious to eat and made for a hilarious birthday celebration!

Calling all the bachelor and bachelorette parties!!!
Bakery older than me popping out naughty cupcakes and sweets? You gotta love it. They have all kinds of shapes when it comes to human anatomy. Do you want a giant insert human part as your birthday cake? You got it. You want boobies on cupcakes? They have it! How about a very explicit looking male body part for bachelorette party? They have that too!
I haven’t gotten anything except naughty cakes here. I mean it is call the Erotic bakery! What else would you come here for! Oh and they have funny explicit cards as well with body parts! Yea, no texting nake pics in 1986! Cakes aren’t cheap but you can see all the little details in it. No pun intended: D
Just found out that they are closing their doors a month from now. What will women eat at bachelorette parties now? No more vulgar looking tasty cakes? Granted it’s not for everyone but I’ve always had a pleasant experience here. The cakes and cupcakes have always been a hit. For the look mostly! Taste is a ok but I come here mainly for their decorating skill. I do enjoy the giggles/​reactions of all the recipients I buy these cakes for! :)

I was hosting my sister’s bachelorette party and wanted to get a cake. The staff was friendly and very helpful. The shop is small, but besides picking up/​ordering cakes, they have some party favors and gifts sold there too which is convenient. They have a display case as well as a photo album for you to look through for ideas. I chose one and they were able to customize it to the colors I wanted. The cakes are on the pricey side, but I think you get what you pay for. PLUS, the cakes are delicious! I ordered chocolate cake with strawberry filling; it was moist and the frosting is not too sweet. I read some mix reviews about it, but I’m pleased it turned out great! We didn’t however, eat the parts on the cakes that were molded fondant lol

We love this bakery! We have never used them for ANY erotic cakes — only birthday cakes for our boys. Today I picked up my sons Rango cake and OMG — it’s the best cake we’ve ever seen — see the attached pic.
I was very sad to hear that after 6 years of going to The Erotic Bakery for our cakes, they’re closing in September! We’d like to say thanks for all the very special memories!

Skeptical after reading reviews but was quite impressed with the cake! Wonderfully decorated and vanilla/​chocolate cake was moist but way too sweet for me! I would have to ask them to cut the sugar in half if I would order another cake in the future. Great edible novelty for a bachlorette party. My girlfriends and I thought it was hilarious. A little pricey though!

I have experienced much MUCH better. I called with a simple question of «Do you make vegan cakes?» (don’t worry its not for me, for someone else) The woman answered as if I was interrupting something (I probably was) «Nope» That’s not the point. When I said «Pardon» she replied with a long «Noooo, is what I said»
That really grinds my gears, when people are that rude.
I also have gotten stuff from there, and the cake was okay, until I got to the crusty bottom, that was unacceptably dry.
P.S Cupcake Royale will put personal toppers that you bring in. Forget This bakery, anyone can put cake batter into a pan.

Purchased a variety of cupcakes as a joke for a friend’s birthday — they have quite a selection! The staff is friendly and helpful and make it seem like talking about penis cakes is the most normal thing in the world. Cupcakes aren’t bad as far as taste either, though of course the shock value is what you go there for.

I got a cake from here and everyone loved it. The cake design came out very good and it tasted very good! I like that they offer many detail options for the cake design. Thanks ladies!

Great f**king cakes.

We ordered a cake for a birthday. granted they were able to make a phenomenal penis jizz, but the cake was disgusting. The cake was so dry, it must’ve been left out for weeks in order to form the crust on the bottom as it did. More and more we cut into the cake, only to realize there was mold throughout the entire cake. It reeked of weed, and couldn’t tell if it was a special cake or the nasty smell of mold.
What a disappointment, to be so excited to give your friend or loved one an exciting cake, and have it be inedible. Never go to this place! We took the cake back and the worker/​owner/​whomever she was wasn’t shocked at all or seemed sympathetic to the bizarre situation. I mean, seriously? We did get our money back, but the worst part of it was that they didn’t even seem surprised that it happened?!
NEVER, ever, ever again… Go buy your friends a real dildo.

I really enjoy the whole idea of the Erotic Bakery. Edible body parts? What’s there not to like? On a whim to get an erotic cake for one of my friend’s birthday, I decided to look up which bakeries would be able to handle this tremendously odd job. This is how I stumbled upon this bakery, and was I overjoyed. It’s also close to a lot of other good places in Wallingford. They have many, many choices and if you are short on time, they have cupcakes, cookies, and various sizes of cakes already pre-​made.
The base price for cupcakes is $ 4.99 each, while the cakes can range from $ 25.00+. The cookies were a couple of dollars, too. They also ask you if you want a little extra spunk on your cake for no charge. All in all, it is fun and affordable. They also have other sex-​related toys and items that you can buy to complete the whole package. It’s a fun store all around. I’m not going to lie and say that I didn’t laugh until it hurt my lungs/​chest when my friend opened up his cake. I did. I laughed. A lot.
The reason I give this place 3 stars is for the substandard quality of their baked goods. They by no means taste, «gross,» but it’s almost borderline inedible. Each spoonful of the cake itself is like 100g of pure, granulated sugar. The frosting on the cake is about 5″ thick and hard. The mold itself tasted really, really bad, almost as if it shouldn’t be eaten at all.
So, I would only come here again for the gags, not for the taste.

This place is pretty damn awesome! No other way to put it. I ordered a «boob» cake for my Hubbies 30^th birthday gathering. Yup, he is a boob man. He loved it, I will not go into details of what happened w one boob when he was drunk at the bar ;) Was a hit w everyone there. I was pretty sure that the cake was going to be dry … NOT! Super moist and delish. Highly recommend The Erotic Bakery! From beginning to end it was a breeze. The employees was super helpful and friendly, even pushed my cake up a day during a busy time of year bc I changed the date of the party last min.
When all is said and done … who wouldn’t love a place that puts …
HAPPY FUCKING BIRTHDAY ROD on a cake ;)

The staff was so hilarious and nice– we needed a mixture of marzipan body parts for some cupcake toppers– and they were happy to oblige. «Uh, we’ve got all the breasts and erect or laying down penises of both colors we only have caucasian vaginas, is that going to work?»
Yes, that works fine.

Kick, punch, vagina cake.
This place is nothing short of magic! Me and my, now GF, came here when the doors were locked and they were just about to close. The cashier guy still let us in, gave a discount AND accommodated us w/​a vagina cake + cum. The taste isn’t bad but that’s not the point. The vagina cake served its purpose! 5 STARS for magic vagina cake and awesome guy! Great for b-​days and current Boss’s. I’m just joking about the latter. Seriously.

I’m not sure what other erotic bakeries are like, but this one has my vote based on customer service alone.
I have never ordered anything before, so can’t vouch too much as far as baked goods go, but the candies and confections are great. I went in there on a whim on my way home from Wallingford just to see what it was all about. It was my friend’s birthday so I thought it would be funny to get my girlfriends something. I bought a couple small chocolate penis lollilops (the 99 cent ones) and noticed there were no «white ones.» I said out loud, «they are all black! where are all the white ones?» The guy behind the counter felt bad so gave me a big white chocolate one for free (worth $ 4.99). What a deal!

Holy wow.
The Erotic Bakery goes above and beyond in some departments and, while some things seem to be a bit much, others have me thinking that this is my destination for whenever I have to go bachelorette party shopping again.
There are cakes and cupcakes and I think some other things that have woman parts, erect man parts, or breasts on them. I wasn’t expecting to see the cupcakes, so that made me happy. (I usually prefer those over cakes.) That and I’d probably buy one of those instead of cakes because the one price tag I noticed on the cakes was at about $ 45.
The other thing that stood out were the cards. I don’t think I can bring myself to give someone a card with a naked body shot (of a man) on it, but… I guess it’s «right» for some people. They also have other items great for bachelorette parties and I believe I remember seeing some flavored lotions or lubes or something like that.
It’ll take a special occasion for me to return here to actually buy something, but this browsing adventure got me thinking that it’s a worthwhile stop when doing some bachelorette party shopping.