Lance’s Turtle Club

I met some folks here last night on a whim with the understanding that I would get a good meal for $ 5 which is their Wednesday special. The place was a challenge to find and I felt out of place upon my arrival. However, I found my crew and I was given clear instructions on what I needed to do. I headed to the bar and gave them my name. The bartender was really cool and he told me to have fun and relax. He gave me a skewer of raw shrimp, a red raffle ticket, paper plate, and eating utensils. I walked outside and my dining companions told me this is how it goes down. She pointed me to the table of seasonings and told me to throw my skewer on the well lit grill. Hmmm… I pay and cook it myself… that’s the catch. So what it this red raffle ticket for? She told me to to give it to the bartender for a baked potato. Why didn’t he give me my potato when he gave me my skewer of raw shrimp? This was an adventure. I went back inside to retrieve my potato and found the table of fixins. But who is watching my skewer of shrimp? I can’t worry about that because I’m too focused on my soft and fluffy potato that needs to be loaded with sour cream! I grabbed a margarita for $ 5 while I was at it and walked outside to find my skewer of shrimp in the same spot I left it. I turned it over, sipped my drink, stirred my potato, and grabbed my skewer off the grill. For a total of $ 10.25, I had a skewer of grilled shrimp, a margarita, a loaded baked potato, green beans, and a light salad. What a bargain! I will return whenever I’m invited to tag along for another low budget outing in the future.

This places is absolutely disgusting! If you want to relive your college days over and over and over come to this bar! Nothing special here!

Love this place! Great owner and super friendly bartenders. Love the Buchwakers… highly recommend.

Location, location, location. Right on Clear Lake with boats all around. But a domestic can for $ 4?

Ha, it floats! This is a good ol’ grimy drinkin’ spot. I was here in the afternoon and it was lonely, but the bartender was nice enough and I get the sense there’s a fair amount of boozehounding that goes on after dark. Prices were decent. The regulars were… regulars. Nothing clean about the place, and it had that old bar rag smell about it. It was run down and the interior décor was that of a beat up hole in the wall with random pictures of boats, news articles, ladies underwear, and cartoon thrown in here and there for fun. The bathrooms were terrible. Let’s be honest, it’s a dive bar, it just happens to be on the water and have windows.
As I described it to a friend, if you ever want to bust out all your sequined college party shirts and see how drunk you can get, this seems like just the spot to do it. And I mean that in the best way possible!

I went with a friend and was having a pretty decent time until we cashed out. The bartender had given my friend’s credit card to someone else. And she had the audacity to tell my friend I closed out her card. We demanded to see the reciept and the singnature was legible enough to know it wasnt that of the cardholder!!! I have worked in the service industry before and I felt the situation could have been handled alot better than it was… so disappointed =(

This is our favorite place on Wednesdays to hang out for 6 dollar steak night. Great atmosphere to hang out with friends. Be sure to get there early for a table because the place gets really crowded. They also have karaōke if brave enough to try and sing after a couple of bushwackers.

This place is ok to come here with friends
Coworker’s & chill!!! Nothing fancy but a
cool place to be on the water! You have a
big dance floor upstairs. The employees
are attentive if you come on a good night
but overall it’s ok! Full Bar here & pretty
Reasonable prices! Its loud so be prepared
for that!!! So if you wanna have a place to
try come here & check it out!!!

This floating bar is a fun place to be. Weekends feature live bands downstairs and karaōke upstairs. Wednesday night you can get a steak for eight dollars if you call and reserve before 4PM. Thursday is Pork chop night and they are to die for. I’ve been going there for years and I really love it there.

This place was fun, good music and quick drinks. But it’s kind of a hole in the wall place where the regulars hang out. It’s extremely casual and dark inside.

Back in town visiting after year s of living here. So disappointed, what’s happened to the place. Dead no atmosphere, surrounding bars packed. New management needed. Sad sad sad

I’ve only had half a beer and it feels like the floor is moving below me… oh wait, it is. My bad.

Are there negative stars to give? This place is on par with the local The Hop in Webster… it’s glory days are LONG gone, but the clientele have yet to realize it.

This place is a big NOPE! Here is the breakdown of why my ten minutes in Lance’s Turtle Bar will be my only time ever spent near that stinkhole.
— Filthy looking panties/​bras stapled to the ceiling/​walls from when the place opened — can’t we at least upgrade from the granny panties of yesteryear?
— Creepy ass regulars who stare blatantly at any relatively young female
— Creepy ass regulars’ wives who turn around to insult aforementioned females, who were only waiting for their turn to order
— Getting charged more than the regular who placed the same exact order at the same exact time

Wed. Night is STEAK Night!!!

Great little dive bar with live music, cheap canned beer and legendary people watching. Come as you are!

This place should be cool but it’s not. FWIW, this bar was started by a bunch of young good looking people about 30 years ago. The problem is, they all stayed. They don’t look very good anymore. They still think they’re 25. There are lots of old people trying to pick up on the few young girls that go in there. There is one old man got caught hiring girls to meet him there so he could pretennd that he picked them up. Pathetic. If you want to know how old the place is just go upstairs and look at the crap on the ceiling. It’s gross.
This place is basically a tourist trap. The drinks are expensive unless one has a «turtle card.» So basically people go in there to pay for the regulars to have cheap drinks. The only cool thing about the place is that if you give some of the bartenders $ 20 you can drink free all night long.

You can’t go wrong with a floating bar, bottom line. I was there on a Wednesday night so I think it was a chill night. The crowd is a lot older but they appear to be having a great time so I give them props. I hear the best time to stop by is during the day on the weekends, when all the boats stop by to party.

Lance’s Turtle Club is the only floating bar I’ve ever been to and its kind of neat that it can be accessed via boat. The downstairs is usually filled with live music and dancing (at least on the weekends) and the upstairs is a little more low-​key and relaxed and you can sit outside and listen while people sing karaōke.
I can’t say I hate the place because I hung out there every Friday night for an entire summer with my girlfriends. I have no idea why we liked going though considering we were all 21 years old and the average age of a Turtle Club patron is probably mid-​forties, but maybe it was because of those thick and rum-​filled Bushwhackers — the bar’s signature drink.
I went there a couple of months ago to relive the crazy nights of my youth and I was saddened when I ordered one of the $ 7 Bushwhackers because it tasted sort of like coconut-​vanilla flavored cement. Also, the bar has no draft beer and the selection of canned beer they do stock is very limited.
It’s good for an older crowd looking to have a little fun, but if you’re young I wouldn’t recommend it.

This place is a Clear Lake institution.
A floating bar, the Turtle Club has been around for over 25 years. On my previous visits, it seemed smaller. More recently, some friends and I stopped in by boat.
Downstairs, a full bar and live band. Upstairs, a full bar and karaōke. This place is really like any other bar other than every once in a while you’ll feel it list, especially upstairs and in the bathrooms. Still, it’s worth checking out if you want to try something different.