College Avenue Traffic Bottleneck

Thanks to traffic calming techniques, aka streets that have been blocked off to prevent speeders through neighborhoods, it’s very hard to drive through the Elmwood area of Southeast Berkeley without getting stuck in the College Avenue Traffic Bottleneck. The two blocks just north and south of Ashby Avenue are chockablock full of slow moving vehicles as cars try to park, turn, or just get through. The public busses that rumble through here probably think of this bottleneck as a nightmare.
Patience, patience. If you have patience, you’ll make it through just fine.
On the other hand, I just smile as I bike or walk through, feeling a smug satisfaction that I’m not stuck in that traffic. «Let’s get out of our cars!» I think to myself as I walk to Elmwood neighborhood shops. «Walk, bike, or take the bus,» I enthuse as I pass the cars crawling along.
So maybe this bottleneck is just the ticket to inspire us all to get out of our cars.

There’s nothing I enjoy more than ripping from Ye Olde Bonge and then getting in my car to take a ride around town. Yee-​Hoo! If the Sun is Shining, I’m out and about! Watch out pedestrians!
When I’m in this mood, there’s no traffic jam I’d rather get stuck in than the one on College Avenue approaching Ashby (from either direction). Traffic pulses in fits and starts, timed to the intersection’s redlight/​greenlight. Left-​turners stall forward progress by waiting for oncoming traffic. Right-​turners stall forward progress waiting for pedestrians. What else is there to do but make your own perfect moment?
Look right. Look left. Start drooling for Indian Food, Italian Food, Chinese Food, Tea or… Ice Cream. Oh yeah. Ice Cream. That’s what I’m talkin’ about. Develop a ten second crush on the sidewalk hottie walking faster in the moment than you could ever hope to move in your car, and start planning your life with that person. When it’s time to move, the Volvo behind you will let you know.
When you make the light, sigh, and remind yourself that you live in one of the greatest places on earth. Take heart, though. If you’re lucky enough, you might still be able to park on a lark and get some ice cream. Who knows, you might even meet your crush!