Lorne Hotel

One star is for the good location and nice lobby. The room was terrible. A/​c did not work. We called and they said it was fine. It was not fine. It never came on one time and window didn’t open. We were hot every evening. The shower can only fit a small person. My wife slipped on the floor in the bathroom, there is no rug and tile is a high sheen slippery floor. Most of our plugs did not work at all. One did. We plugged in our computer and there was some sort of electrical surge that blew my computer battery. I called front desk. They came up and basically said sorry and I could try a plug in the lobby. That’d be great if I had a functioning computer but now it’s not usable. The bed is hard as a rock and definitely not a standard full. I’m 5’4 and my toes reached the end of the bed. I would NEVER stay here again and am actually quite shocked that they offered nothing… not even breakfast, to say they were sorry for no a/​c, electrical issues and a now broken computer.

Have stayed here a couple of times; excellent value for the money and the rooms are very comfortable, if slightly on the small side. Staff at reception are a bit hit and miss; I’ve experienced both a very friendly welcome and a totally indifferent one. The bar is lovely with a real touch of elegance and grandeur about. They have a good cocktail list, as well as several wines served by the glass. The restaurant serves Indian food, and is lovely. Breakfast was included in my room rate, which was good as I believe it is quite expensive if paying for it separately. They have a decent range of pastries, fruit, yoghurt as well as some hot food.

Clean attractive hotel with nice bar and good breakfast. Only downside was the size of the room and bath, small with little storage space.

Very functional and stylish hotel at reasonable price (less than 70 pounds for a weekday for us). Walking distance to good restaurants. The only down side might be the cleaners tried to walk in in the morning and the sound proof isn’t that good so you hear people talking in the hallway in the morning but since we were awake, it wasn’t a big deal.

All style (ish), no substance. Peer beneath the veneer of this place and it soon becomes apparent that it is dying a slow death. This is supposedly a 4*. Not a chance. The beds are comfy, the layout of the room is nice, leather couch, lovely curtains etc. Stains on the carpet, with bits worn away, grubby marks on the wall. The shower is futuristic, perhaps too futuristic since there was no actual shower holder, perhaps pointing towards future telekinetic capabilities of human-​kind? The cleaners were paaps. On the first morning we had one screaming to another «How! Whit does «Dae not Disturb mean?» «reading the sign we had left on our door, in hope. They also insisted on using the meeting room opposite as a sort-​of base-​camp, which meant a load of noise and crashing of two doors nearby every two minutes.
Didn’t eat or drink here, so can’t comment. Check-​in was a pain since we weren’t on «…her system, but I’ve found you» after about 10 minutes.
We could have saved a few quid and stayed in the travel lodge near central station which would have been better. Won’t be staying again.

Sehr durch gestyltes Hotel in Glasgow, dass den neuesten Schnickschnack an netten Spielereien bietet.
Das Essen lässt keine Wünsche offen.
Weiter so

What can a say ten out of ten great place to stay and eat. great staff and have everything you need

Form — Function = Fail
What I didn’t realise when I booked in to the Lorne Hotel was that it was only opening 2 days before. Unsurprisingly, it has a lot of teething problems, but I’ll ignore those for this review. That still leaves me with adequate niggles to bitch about.
The good:
— The beds are very comfy, the décor’s pretty swish, assuming you go for that ultra-​modern style.
— The staff were pretty friendly, if somewhat flumoxed by all the new procedures.
The bad:
— The rooms are pretty cramped. While they’ve gone to the trouble and expense of installing ultra-​wide doors throughout the hotel, there’s no way you’re getting wheelchair in the bedrooms without hauling the bed out first. I believe the internet term for this is «FAIL»
— You can’t turn the A/​C off. The vent is right above the headboard. But you like a constant breeze on your face while you try to sleep, right?
— The showers are very futuristic. Unfortunately, this means super-​angled taps, which are both over sensitive and difficult to grip. You will alternately scald and freeze your naked self. There’s also no soap shelf, and the curved shower doors leave no room to actually manœuvre or bend down, so I hope you’re adept at picking things up with your feet.
— I have a PhD in Space Physics. I say this not to try and impress. I say this not to elicit sympathy at my tendency to utterly kill small talk at parties. I say this to put the following into context: I couldn’t figure out how to empty my wash basin. In the end I completely unscrewed the whole plug mechanism just so I could brush my teeth. Seriously, who thought the sink needed redesigning to the point of making its operation completely unintuitive? FAIL.
— The breakfast is £12.50. This is Glasgow, not Tokyo.
I’m sure some people will love the Lorne. They’ll probably love sitting in the bar, trying to write a screenplay on their iPad.