Apache Pizza

After about 5 days in Dublin and local food we decided on PIZZA. Wow frozen take home is at least triple better. So happy we got a small. My wife and I shared a slice. The rest went to homeless on the street. Not even sure if they had the rest. I saw some dogs half an hour later with pizza. Same, who knows. Skip this one.

We seem to live in a strange gray zone in terms of Pizza delivery, we have few options and Apache is one of them. If you subscribe to the school of «good for the price» you might as well order. It’s not the worst pizza I’ve ever had, but when you have a craving and don’t have many options, you don’t mind things like scarce toppings or greasiness. Their massive menu should give you a hint as to the quality you can expect, the majority of it will be from the freezer so I wouldn’t stray past the pizza. I’d definitely pay more for a better pizza but we don’t have that option so we rely on Apache… until we find something better. I think the best thing there is the cheesy garlic bread, which I actually prefer to the pizza, I guess that’s not saying much either. Delivery is quick and service is fine, never had a problem with our order, and obviously the prices are good. It is what it is!

Apache Pizza… A Pac ‘A dopes more like.
Being the adolescent twenty-​somthing year old I am, It was my obligation to take advantage of your recent student ‘one euro personal pizza deal with 2toppings of your choice’. I went down to Apache Pizza on Dame Street with my brother still slightly dazed from herbal intoxication brought on by a college cigarette. We proceeded to the counter to avail of this apparent once in a life-​time offer. After careful deliberation, I decided upon two toppings; tandoori chicken and peppers. Any other combination would have been pointless to me at the time. I placed my order with a standard soda, orange, incase things went wrong and I needed to flush matter down my face hole.
As I waited I made sensible use of my time by surveilling the establishment. An uncanny resemblance I thought, to an Italian Pizzeria I visited during my stay in New York of which’s name escapes me. Queer, I thought, as this was supposedly food derived from the native Indians but had apparently come to the same culinary evolutionary conclusion that Italian food had reached. My suspicions of claimed false origin we’re further aroused by the wall portraiture undoubtedly stolen from google images of native americans. Looking back towards our host, I was flabbergasted to see him sweating. As if, somehow, like a rat after being caught in a trap by the legs so he would survive just long enough to see me squash him. The coward knew I was onto them as I knew I had to make haste in rectifying the situation before I was barred and forced to write a Unilocal review.
I looked down at the receipt, just to make sure everything was in order. Alas, a major fuck up. Tandoori chicken and fuckin’ Pepperoni. What kind of fucking maniac orders two kinds of meat and no vegetables on their pizza? Maybe the type of person who is obsessed with fitness, protein and weight gain. Although I am personally quite fit, strong and attractive, I took this as an insult to my own personal physic but maintained composure and politely brought this to the attention of a staff member. I believed I was in luck and prior to this event, I believe in Apache Pizza. I looked over the counter down and the soulless apache Indian (pfft) who was just about to put the pepperoni on my personal pizza. I must stress how polite I was in this situation because what came next was horrifying. I asked him for peppers instead of pepperoni with a please, and he slowly rolled his glazed eyeballs up and me and burped; «no»…
“it is too late”…
As he flung my personal into his oven without shame, without hesitation, without peppers. I held back my tears knowing full well that the Unilocal cult following would sympathise with this hypocrisy and this injustice would be brought to its knees before the streets of Dublin. These lying, unmerciful Cossacks must be drowned so that a mannerism cleansing may take place and we can all just get along nicely with a pizza topping solidarity between vegetable and meats, unwavered by misinterpretation and false origin claims.
I painfully ate the pizza which was’nt actually that bad. BUT STILL! I have principals that must be upheld and I find honesty to be the only way we can truly connect to each other. If I were to let this injustice continue without it being properly addressed, then what hope would humanity have? These are difficult times my fellow Unilocalers, but stand firm and we will prevail.
two stars. Only because I caught the eye of a delectable petite chinese girlo in there trying to mask the fact that she was eyeing me up. Here’s to you gorgeous. xx

So I really enjoyed this pizza! My company ordered a bunch and I was munching on all of it. I had the Chicken Apache, Cajun Apache (SPICY ALRIGHT!) and Apache Special (YUMMM)
The Curry fries were SO GOOD and the buffalo wings too. I was not disappointed!
Worth the price.
Did the online ordering and the pizza came exactly when we order it for.

The pizza is alright, place was fairly dirty. The service was great, the staff was really friendly.
However, it’s not the best pizza or the worst, just something that will do to get your pizza fix.

You ever pick up a turd out of a dumpster, put salt and pepper on it and cut it into a triangle? That’s pretty much what it taste like!!!
The pizza is very cheap and really not good at all. It is very very greasy and very tasteless. The place is really dirty as if it has not been cleaned in months! I would never recommend this place to anyone!!! NEVER GO THERE! (Even if it’s raining out and there is no where else to eat) DON’T DO IT!

The pizza is good after going out, but I wouldn’t want it when sober. Not the worst I’ve ever had though. The place is always pretty dirty. It’s what you would expect I guess, so I’ve been several times and not minded too much.

We stopped here for some dinner before going out and enjoyed it. It’s pizza, plain and simple, and it did its job. Interior was pretty fun, too.

5 stars for the 2 slices of pepperoni I get after a night out.
That’s all it’s good for, and it’s plenty.

Hi Apache Pizza, your curry chips are amazing when I have been drinking… but I’m not sure I’d consume anything else from yall.
Thanks.

If you are new to the city and want the full 360 on Dublin dining, you must pay a visit to Apache Pizza. Between 02:00 and 04:00 on a weekend. Preferably when you’re drunk.
Far from the best drunken slice in the city, but Apache’s location on Dame Street attracts such a mix of hungry post-​pub drinkers that you’ll experiment the entire spectrum of Dublin’s party-​goers. If you’re friendly enough, you might even get invited to an afterparty. If not, well, the pepperoni slice will bring you comfort.

Apache provides down to earth and unpretentious surroundings to conduct your post-​session fast food splurge. No one is going to turn his or her nose up at you in this grubby eatery whilst you revel in some repartee fresh from the club or pub. The general feel in Apache is ever-​so sullied, the interior grim enough that it radiates a kind of desecration. I would never eat in here if it weren’t for the crushing urge to consume something greasy and unhealthy after all of that alcohol.
In amidst of sobriety the interior is shoddy and the pizza is substandard and unfulfilling. In amidst of inebriation the quality of the inferior pizza can’t even be salvaged — even under the influence of alcohol that has been known to distort my acuity before now the poor quality cannot be masked. The pizza is flavourless with very thin bases. On one occasion the toppings on my pizza were still slightly frozen.
If you are requiring something greasy after a big night out then there are many other more gratifying fast food joints in very close proximity to this one that don’t charge a fortune and with offerings much more satisfying than that which Apache lays claim to.

Not the best pizza in the world, but cheap. A popular late night spot for when Difontaines won’t satisfy your hunger and you can’t afford Ricks. But that’s as far as it goes.

I am a big pizza fan! And if you’re looking for a slice on the run or a giant takeaway pizza, then this is your place.
As you’ll probably be able to tell from the name AND the giant Indian faces all over the little restaurant, it’s not exactly authentic Italian — it’s more of big American style pizza. Like you can pick up a pepperoni slice, Hawaiian, ham and mushroom… It’s also a great spot for the late night munchies. Like you know when you’ve had a few drinks and you have that false appetite where your eyes are bigger than your belly? You think you want a large pizza to yourself, when really you probably just want 1.5 slices. This place is perfect for that!

I love eating late night pizza. Unfortunately, there are very few places to get a cheap slice in Dublin (correct me if I’m wrong).
Apache Pizza is one of those fast food joints that is open until the wee hours and dishes up cheap eats. Their pizza is mediocre, a little too doughy to merit more than 3 stars.
This particular shop on Dame Street has a whole downstairs where you and all your drunk mates can dig into your food without being judged. Perfect location for late night merriment.

If you take a look at my reviews you will see I have rated a few pizza places, from great to terrible. Apache is a place I rate definitely towards the top of the scale.
Its nice to be able to sit in and eat, even if your in a hurry and the downstairs tables are comfortable, even if the area isn’t the most well lit.
They keep the shop well stocked with free magazines and what not which can help pass the time as you wait.
The pizza itself is quite great, your much better off ordering yourself a small pizza (they have some great offers) than buying by the slice, but thats still good.
They also have a small but delicious selection of ice creams.