Beach Palms

Oh, Beach Palms, you saucy little minx! I fell for the «come hither» look of your brochure, your walking distance to Siesta Beach, and your non-​chain status as an old-​fashioned Florida cottage experience. Then reality set in.
First impressions: no office or desk, but an outside phone with a list of numbers to call. The housekeeper finally comes out and says she hasn’t cleaned our cottage. Fine. We were early. When asked for a time when it would be ready, she says she doesn’t know. I press and ask for an estimated time, and she launches into a story about all she did for the previous guests and how they probably didn’t leave her a tip. WTF?
I tell her we’ll go to lunch and come back later. We come back at 2:30 and the cottage still isn’t ready. Check in time is technically 3:00, but check out time is 10am. There were vacancies here, and not much activity. They knew we were coming. What have they been doing for almost 5 hours? We finally get in just before 3, and Miss Housekeeper reminds us of the 10am check out. Grrr.
The cottage is cute. Furniture is a bit worn, the shower stall is TINY, and there’s a weird smell, but it’ll do. I start to appreciate the quaintness. We have a lovely little private patio, a shared hot tub, and hammocks in the front yard. We were enjoying the hot tub when Miss Housekeeper comes by and talks again about how she depends on tips and food that people leave for her. The trolling for tips really gets under my skin, and this instance seemed particularly tacky. Note to ownership: Please get this housekeeper some customer service training.
Price: we got the *discounted* rate of $ 250 for the night. Their normal rate is $ 300/​night or $ 1650/​week. I don’t mind paying top dollar for top quality, but this felt like usury.
If you’re going to continue to strap it on and financially sodomize your guests, at least give us a reach-​around. I felt like the cliched john who gets tied to the bed while you walked out with my pants and wallet.
Oh, Beach Palms, I so wanted you to be my Island Girl, but you turned out to be a whore.