Pub at the End of the Universe

Their hours aren’t posted and they open and close randomly, inside is dirty, and service is bad.

The Dive’iest of bars. Stinks a bit. Otherwise, great place to sit, drink, and play pool.

Open mic? Only for locals, apparently. Two performers visiting from out of town, showed up at 8:25pm and signed up as 7^th and 8^th. Continual «insertions» of other performers (no communication with us whatsoever), and after about 11 performers, checked the list again — wait a minute, still three until our turn? Waiting patiently, trying to be supportive and understanding of the various (wildly varying talent level) acts (it IS an open mic). Waited three more, now it’s 11:30pm and we’re tired, traveling in the morning, and they introduce — yet another local person who just arrived five minutes ago. Could not have been more inconsiderate of us. I DO think they tried. To be inconsiderate, I mean.

Soooo very divey… And that’s fine by me! Came on a quiet night, soaked in décor and enjoyed the Bob Marley playing on the jukebox. Yeah I get it smells odd kinda like my grandpa’s place used to but it is not intolerable. Very impressive beer selection! Will have to come back to try the food sometime

Great service and drinks! The bartenders have always been super friendly and they have a few pool tables so that if one is taken there is usually another one available. They have open mic nights on Mondays which actually has great potential for some good music! It’s a nice dive bar that can lead to a great night out.

Love this place. It used to apparently be an outdoor mall, complete with a locksmith and all kinds of separate businesses. This explains the crazy collection of rooms and floor heights. It’s kind of like legends of the hidden temple. The murals are amazing. The place is an acid trip from the 90s.
The first time I came here I took my shoes off because I felt so at home. My company was totally disgusted, but whatever!
Five stars.

What an awesome name for a place. Perhaps it is the pub at the end of the universe and we just don’t know it.
It was my first time here and I was here for a Wicked Wednesday. It was pretty busy or maybe it was the layout of the place that made it seemed packed. I felt a little turned around. It just seemed like there was a lot of small hallways and packed rooms, not so much people packed. There is only so much room to walk and stand around when there’s a pool table in the middle of said room.
Definitely dive bar like. I don’t even know where the bathrooms are and that’s usually one of the first things I find out about any place. I do like the mosaic tables.
And I guess that is that. I feel like I should bring a towel the next time I come here.

Just went for the first time. Great kinda dive, good tap list, huge. You can go in there to socialize, hide and read, or have a section for just your friends. Three pool tables, pinball, board games. Nice back patio. Got the nachos with fresh cucumber and jalapenos shredded on top, nice touch for a dive bar and good flavor. Me and my friend each got a beer and shared the «small» nachos for $ 16, no complaints here.

If it’s busy, it gets real difficult to make it to the bar. Mainly because they don’t respect the queue, they’ll serve the regulars that push to the front before anybody that’s been waiting. Otherwise the food is great, plenty of pool tables and the layout provides lots of visual interest and fun niches for groups to sit and chat. Prices are decent too.

I went here to see a friend’s band. The place was decent enough. The band was great though it was sort of a weird place to see music because less than ½ the people were there for music and there is no place to dance.

Dive bar, with good music — and a sound guy. Yay. I came here to see Otis Heat and the Rose City Thorns play, so I was going to come anyway. Not sure this is a place I would stop by, since it’s a bit outside my neighborhood, and there’s no walking home from here.
However, it appears they serve food, though surprisingly it was spelled wrong. «Bufalo», «tortila», to name a few. OK, whatever.
The beers were good, they had a good selection, and I was able to taste before I bought. The only drag is you want to get there early if you’re not sure of your beer, because the lines will get LONG. Luckily I tasted early. Unlike other patrons who didn’t realize the other 50 people in line behind them while they tasted and discussed what they maybe wanted to have, or not — ugh. That’s not the bar’s fault — just annoying.
The place is rather large. Yes, it smells like moldy carpet and probably something is growing in there. The bathroom actually didn’t lock, so you get to hold it with your head while perfecting the «hover».
It’s OK — it’s a dive bar — it is expected. 3 stars — not bad, worked for me. I’ll be back if some of my favorite bands play again — otherwise, meh.

Most definitely the worst smelling bar in SE. It may have something to do with the carpet… Perhaps years of overflowed toilets have tainted the woodwork?
Can someone please explain the wacky wall art? It is bizarre, and at times a little scary. There is a human head jar on the counter for no apparent reason.
And the food. Why do they bother? They have a microwave, and everything comes out of that. Liquid cheese and processed shite.

This pub will always have a special place in my heart. It was the first bar I went to after turning 21. I remember being upset that they didn’t have whiskey (only beer and wine), but they soon added liquor to their selection and made me very happy. I have always lived in the area and I now live only a few feet away. This bar has been included in so much of my adult life. I want to give them more starts, but the reality is that they just aren’t that good.
This is a good neighborhood bar. And it has its upsides. Unique décor, big tv screens where I always go to watch the Olympics or major sporting events. Free pool on Sundays. Open mic night (monday) is huge and incredible fun. They have darts. They have a jukebox. And the interior is one of my favorites anywhere because there are all these nooks and crannies to sit in where you can feel like you have your own private bar. It’s great.
But then there’s the service. Some people are great. There is this one woman who is hardly ever there who is one of my favorite bartenders around. When she is there, I like to sit at the bar and chat and I always spend too much money, lol. But more often, it is the blond guy or the dark-​haired, muscular-​faced guy. The dark-​hair, muscular face guy is generally fine. Not super talkative, but he gets the job done well. It is always a little irking, though, that after checking my id a few times a month for 3 years, he still seems to forget me every time. I don’t mind being carded, but there is not even a hint of recognition.
But the blond guy. Oh man, the blond guy. I always wondered how he kept his job. Turns out he’s the nephew or something like that of the owner. But boy does he suck. It takes forever to get a drink from him. He has a horrible attitude. He isn’t friendly and would rather play with his cell phone than check on even the people sitting at the bar right in front of him. I usually just turn around and walk down the street to the Ships Ahoy tavern if I see him working.
The food is hit-​or-​miss and is highly dependent on who is working.

My, my, my, what on earth do you say about a place like this? Well for starters, the name is fitting. Not only is this pub tucked away randomly in a residential neighborhood, but it’s also like a time warp when you walk in. Can anyone say, The Big Lebowski??? Everything was old (not necessarily in a charming vintage way), I didn’t see one window (which is scary as hell when you’re walking up), the air stank of stale chips and moldy carpet, and the people were kinda sketchy. As a new Portlandian though, I felt this was an experience I needed to have. And I’m actually kinda glad I did…
Although I can’t say I’d love to become a regular at this bar, I can say that it’s not that bad of a spot once you get past odd sights and smells (that might be a BIG IF). The space is filled with a number of little nooks and crannies to sit in with friends, pool tables to keep you occupied, and a decent selection of beers. I was slightly disappointed to find that they were conveniently out of the two drafts I wanted. The upside to this, however, was that it gave me a chance to try a dark cider that was actually pretty good. It’s apple flavored, and you should try it. Just saying. They also have food, but I will let you be the judge of whether or not you want to subject your stomach to it. Oddly, it wouldn’t surprise me if it was tasty. Just the strange luck of a place like this.
I honestly couldn’t even tell what music was playing, but I didn’t care much because I came there to chill, drink, and converse with a friend. We were interrupted a handful of times by some semi-​obnoxious and uberly drunken customers, which made the night all that more interesting. And annoying. And hilarious. The final time was just before closing when the bartender (perhaps owner?) rushed us with our drinks. We had a couple minutes to finish consuming our spirits, but he was a bit too pressed to pick up our glasses. An older Asian man, which I was definitely not expecting. And he was strangely knowledgeable of brews. Strangely.
This pub is fun. It’s weird. And it’s the epitome of the 90’s still being alive in Portland.

just down the street from Reed College. cozy little bar. kinda funky with a massive beer selection. Good taps and bottle selection as well.

Seriously? I’ve never reviewed Pub at the End of the Universe? Quite possibly because I never wanted anyone else to find it!
OK, so it could use a good cleaning, and the bathrooms are generally gross… but I’ve never let this stop it from being my favorite place in Portland for a few beers and a game or two of pool. They also used to have, hands down, the best jukebox selection in Portland… from Prince to the Pixies… but in a recent visit (I live out of town now, so visits are sadly few and far between) I noticed they have one of those new digital jukeboxes, which I couldn’t check out because they had a live band playing and it was disabled.
Let it become your favorite local dive (but don’t tell anyone else… I don’t want it to get overcrowded).
;)

The smell is what hits you first. A sour mix of patchouli and body odor. Gone are the days of smelling like cigarette smoke, in are the days of smelling like poo. The beer selection is mediocre at best, considering other neighborhood bars like the Ship and C Bar have a better selection (and better prices) that is actually rotating. Getting food is like pulling teeth; getting it done is easy, but it never feels good. Service is good, but you can be over looked if you dress like you have a job.
The only real positive aspect of this bar is the back patio. It’s great. As a smoker I love popping out for a quickie without getting soaked to my bones!
I used to come here years ago and It’s disappointing to see it go so far down hill. I have such wonderful memories of «back in the day» that it pains me to visit it now. I can only hope it gets better. And you better bet I’ll be a regular again when that happens!

Let me start out by saying, I love a good hole in the wall. That being said, PEU is the hole in the wall’s black-​sheep older brother.
The first time I walked in the door the odor of cat pee (?) hit my nostrils. I that wasn’t strange enough, my husband ordered a vodka martini and the bartender took out the «Bartender’s Bible.» He read it, then proceeded to pour mostly Vermouth and a shot of vodka into his drink. We thought maybe we didn’t see what we though we saw, so we went back to our table. The martini was non-​potable. The beer selection is good. The patrons and staff are fine. I feel a little dirty when I leave. So I guess, if you like to feel dirty, this pub is for you!

Yet another one of my favorite places to go when I’m craving a relaxed, comfortable environment. PATEOTU embodies a peaceful resonance. Like the walls were built out of the spirits of a thousand patchouli-​basked hippies.
There’s a pretty good selection of microbrews on draft, at reasonable prices. My favorite is a mixture of hazelnut brown and chocolate stout. Some call it a Snickers. It’s filling, sweet, and has a kick to it, but it’s not too heavy. Being a beer and wine bar, you can count on them having some decent mid-​range wines available, without a big price tag.
And no matter how hard I try, I always end up getting something off the food menu. It’s mainly quesadillas, nachos, hummus plates, burritos and the such. But the nachos are huge and the hummus with tortilla chips always hits the spot. Last time we ordered the nachos, there were enough to where we had to share with innocent bystanders. Oh poor innocent bystanders…
There are four pool tables scattered throughout: two dounstairs and two in separate areas up top. They’ve always been good to me. The structure is kind of compartmentalized into several pseudo-​rooms, so you can spread yourself out where you feel the most comfortable.
And every Monday night is open mic night. There are some amazing singer/​songwriters who play here, but we also saw some funky 80s-​style keyboard action goin’ on. You never know what you’re going to get. Open mic can get a bit cramped with Reedies, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Just a younger crowd.
The staff are friendly and way laid back. And there’s usually only one employee on the floor, so enter with some patience on your sleeve.
The jukebox is charming. It’s old school, so the selection is limited, but who can say no to Al Green anyway?
Sometimes they close early if it’s slow, so if you’re not heading out ’til after midnight, you might want to call ahead to make sure the doors are still open.

PATEOTU is one of those places in which I have so many memories wrapped up from over the years that it’s hard to know where to begin. Neal’s perfectly summed it up with the «friend’s basement» description– I’ve always thought it had that feeling. Like one of those friends who had cool parents who weren’t around that much and didn’t give a rat’s A what the kids were up to in the basement and let you listen to whatever music you wanted as long as they thought it was cool, too.
A huge thumbs up goes to the main man, Teek? (sorry, I have no idea how to spell that) who is a beer enthusiast, great bartender, and all-​round chill peacekeeper. The Pub can get super packed and obnoxious sometimes, but even if he’s slammed, once you get up to that bar to order, he would be happy to tell you exactly what kind of hops are in Boulder’s Hazed and Infused and probably offer you a taste first, too. Just in the mood for a pitcher of PBR? It’s all the same. Everything’s available by glass, pint, or pitcher.
Jukebox: ’tis a good one, but on a busy Reedie night be prepared to hear a lot of Atmosphere. That’s the one CD I wish would mysteriously disappear from that machine…
Snacks: pretty good, nachos are solid, but this is drunk food for real, not a dinner spot.
Drinks: excellent rotating selection, lots of bottles, Framboise, ciders, wines. Once in a while they’ll throw an intriguing wine in the mix, but stick to beer here. Free sodas for the DD. Prices are good in general.
Of the many memories I have of the PATEOTU, one of the best is watching Obama’s nomination acceptance speech live from Denver. There were just a couple of us in there, and all but maybe one person got teary. It was touching.
This Pub should probably get a little more credit for a Portland mainstay than it does. Sordid past includes being a rowdy strip club decades ago, and they’ve left remnants of the original chicken-​wire up. It made it through years of this neighborhood being pretty icky for a while there. And still kickin’, pouring beer to local yokels and (real and fake) hippies and Reedies alike.