Ultimate Burger

Teddy’s who? OMG. First truck I look for when I go to a food truck rally and the last one I hit up before I leave. I can guarantee at least 3 orders in my belly in one night. I really, really, their garlic fries with that aioli sauce. The service is quick and aI really can’t wait til they open up permanent shop.

I was sooo excited when I saw Thomas O.‘s review of the Ultimate Burger — I had no idea they were in Honolulu until I saw his review! I’ve been to their original location in Kona and the hubby and I always go out of our way to eat their burgers and fries whenever we visit the Big Island, which is at least once a year.
The only disappointment about their booth at the Farmer’s Market is that it takes a while to get your burger because they are so busy and their grill is only so big. But it’s well worth the wait! Their burgers are so juicy and beefy — you’ll never want to eat at McD’s again. And their Ultimate Fries are ono! I just wish they would give more of it!

I feel so guilty. So so so guilty! Please don’t tell Teddy you saw me, Thomas «Teddy’s is my soulburger» O, cheating on him with another burger. I feel bad enough that I’m writing this review within the same week of having one of his babies but I just can’t keep this guilty pleasure a secret any longer. Not to mention I have one waiting for me at home. Talk about baby daddy problems.
As I was wandering around the Honolulu Farmers Market searching for something Emily L and I could eat, I stumbled upon this booth called Ultimate Burgers! Under the tent were a whole bunch of paniolas and one paniolo making burgers and fries. It smelt ultimately divine.
I thought to myself, ohh Teddy wouldn’t notice if I just have one of these mighty delicious looking ultimate burgers would he? I there’s one at home waiting for me, but look, this rodeo came all the way from the B-​I, when am I gonna get the chance to try them again? Oh what the heck!
«Hi, can I have an ultimate hamburger and an order of ultimate fries,» I asked.
That turned into the question that changed my relationship with Teddy forever. SHIT! What did I just do?! Oh damn. Shit. Sonofa. Gahhhh! What’s gonna happen if I like this burger more? Or what if it’s bad but Teddy still finds out? Blahhh!
«That’ll be $ 10…okay, you’re lucky number 3,» the lovely paniola said, and all my problems went away.
In the meantime I went to buy Emily’s shrimp scampi linguine across the way and then a cup of one of the best kona coffees this side of Maui.
I came back to wait anxiously as I saw my burger being plated.
Fresh-​baked grilled brioche bun, check!
Char-​grilled Big Island Grass-​fed beef patty cooked medium, check! Fresh local lettuce, pickles, and tomato, check check check!
And the sauce! MAJOR BOLD CHECK!
Omg. The sauce is what makes Teddy’s burgers the best on Oahu.
The Ultimate amaze-​sauce served here with a 3-​spout squeeze bottle is what make these burgers the best in Hawaii. The world in fact… so far.
I can’t describe it other than it just melds perfectly with the burger, and drips down your hand only for you to grab some Ultimate Fries to clean it up. I like to think that a messy burger is a sign of a good burger. And so far my theory has been true. Very true.
Now for those Ultimate Fries. These shoe string fries are done up classy with a bunch of magic seasoning, salt, thyme, parsley and served with their signature aïoli. DON’T forget the aïoli.
For a grand total of $ 10 I walked away with a meal worth dying after. Worth being labeled a cheater? Maybe… don’t quote me on that. But it is definitely worth the money.
I mean these panioli (plural) are FBI (From Big Island) so it better be worth the cost of the trip for them.
From what I hear, they’re supposed to be here every Wednesday for the Honolulu Farmers Market. I just may have to make it a (dirty) habit to come here!
Sorry Teddy, I’m not sorry for eating this Ultimate Burger, because it truly is the be all end all of Hawaiian BURGERS.
EAT LOCAL! BE LOCAL!
Review #031/​365