Kukui

I went here for one of the freshers nights recently– ah, where to begin…
Firstly, I’d like to say that a long entry queue, overpriced drinks, overcrowding and bathrooms with a medieval level of hygiene are all things that I can deal with– no club is perfect, and undoubtedly at least one of the aforementioned will ail a venue. Kukui was afflicted by all of them, but I could even have happily accepted that if the music had been any good.
it wasn’t.
In fact, before I even get started on the music, let’s talk about the sound system. It was incredibly tinny and lo-​fi, a fact painfully accentuated by the volume at which it was cranked, ostensibly murdering what were the few danceable tracks of the night.
The music itself was mixed confusingly badly. The DJ kept sampling songs as if to segway into them, only to then revert back to playing about a minute or more of generic «filler» beat. It was like sticking the tip in and then pulling out to beat off with a fist full of gravel and hot marmalade instead.
There was also practically no discernible bassline in anything, but whether this was due to the DJ’s incompetence or the fact that the speakers could have been borrowed from a school disco circa 1996 escapes me at this point.
I’m a firm believer in not knocking anything until I’ve tried it, but I knocked Kukui and I really hope it doesn’t try to get back up again.

I went with a group of friends after they told me that Kukui was one of the better clubs in Oxford. Of course, they also told me that Oxford clubs are terrible, so I was prepared for a fun night of bad music.
Kukui is your standard fake tiki club. Bamboo siding, palm leaves and strong tropical drinks. I have no idea how much the cover cost (nor how much the drinks cost), but my zombie was absolutely fantastic. The bathrooms were clean and the coat check was efficiently run.
However, the music was horrible. Everything seemed to be at least 3 years old (except a terrible pop remixed version of Paper Planes which was unrecognizable from the original unless you really put in effort).
It was a fun evening, but the good drinks really can’t make up for the poor music. Still enjoyable because of the company, but not a great club. Perhaps my opinion would change knowing other Oxford clubs, but I really have no other comparison and thus the review stays at 2 stars.

Bloody great club, Can’t believe how much they’ve turned it around so much from ocean and collins! I went last Saturday and it was awesome! Some pretty hot doormen (some old ones too — not the hot ones!), handsome guys behind the bar and pretty girls serving at the tables. My bot mates were spending a little too much time looking at them though — there’s something about a girls in a strappy top and sarong in the middle of winter that’s got the boys all gooey-​eyed!
I had a piña colada served in a real pineapple! quite expensive but really strong and enough to share with a mate.
all in all, a great place, and will be going there again.

Only opened a couple of weeks ago, where O&C’s used to be.
It’s a bit, um, random!
Beach/​Hawiian theme bar/​club.
Cocktails a plenty. When i went on a Sat night it was 80’s, early 90’s music.
Not sure what they have on night to night, waiting for the website to start up so i can have a nosey!
My sisters only complaint was they didnt serve Archers, or Corona for her boyf ;o)
Apart from that i thought it was pretty cool, if you like that sorta thing!
x