300 Bloor-Danforth Bus

Ah the vomit comet. What would we do without you after the subway shuts down?
If you didn’t have a good time at the bar/​movie/​show you went to, then chances are you’ll have fun on this bus as you make your way home in the wee hours of the morning.
Did you miss the two o’clock scramble? Not to worry, you can hit on random people on the bus like almost everyone else does. Or you can just start singing/​rapping and have everyone either try to murder you or join in.
One memorable night I had a really great bus driver. Once the bus was packed with people he came over the loud speaker and got everyone going, asking how the crowd was doing, how their night was, etc. It really eased the tensions of being backed like sardines into a metal box on wheels.

Pretty much daily I take this line from work and then later to an event here and there. While a little rundown this train is constantly reliable and full of a delightful mix of all sorts.
Here’s a little shout out to the most recent closet o’ crazy I sat beside while riding the train yesterday morning. You get a full four stars for the most diligent crazy I’ve seen in a while. Eyes closed, fingers tapping and emanating a smell somewhere between old compost and the gym locker room. While I couldn’t understand your language, I felt your passion as you scribbled in page after page of your spiral bound notebook. It was both your maniacal doodling and your eclectic clothing choice that really bumped up those stars. However your lack of aggressive assaultive tendencies did cost you one star, still though you are in my personal hall of fame.
Bottom Line… this fellow and so many others are what really make Toronto, Toronto and I can’t wait for the next underground adventure.

If you’re looking for comedy troupe-​esque entertainment, it can easily be had for merely $ 2.75 just by taking the all night bus along Bloor.
At around 1:55am when the subway stops running and until 6am when it starts again, an unwieldy and unreliable beast appropriately nicknamed «The Vomit Comet» takes over for the stops between Bloor/​Danforth and shuttles*** hundreds of tired, overworked, rowdy, intoxicated and otherwise questionably mobile people home.
The TTC drivers who do this route must either get paid a special bonus, a higher rate or have the patience of a saint because I have no idea how they tolerate the unruly passengers, fare disputes, aggression and general ongoing rowdiness and noise on the route.
Things I’ve witnessed on my Vomit Comet adventures:
* vomit, obviously (existing vomit puddles and vomit-​in-​progress)
* shadowboxing
* people passed out blackout drunk and sprawled across several seats
* Beck «Where It’s At» singalong
* fistfight between a man and a woman
* birthday party with balloons
* a pickup
* someone pushing the ‘request stop’ button for every stop, genuine or not
It may not come at any semblance of regularity or adhere to any particular schedule but when it does finally arrive (and if you can squeeze your way on), it’ll get you home safely. Terrific entertainment for the end of the night — peak hours of debauchery are 3 – 4:30am.
***does not imply speed of any kind