Toscano’s Hawksburn

I was totally going to give this place a good review until the owner got so far under my skin I almost stabbed the b-​tch. Too aggressive? Perhaps.
Well let me tell my side of the story, not that the old hag could rebut in any way. I was sifting through the nectarines in a fair effort to find one that wasn’t as hard as a rock. I didn’t really want to break a tooth on fruit, I feel it’s not worth it. The lady, who was packing away boxes, turned to me and said, ‘Don’t squeeze ‘em too hard, darl.’ Excuse me, I’ll squeeze my fruit as hard as I want ’cause it ain’t my fault it’s dodgy.
Apparently this woman is a real stickler for fruit squeezing. She once told a friend off for squeezing the avocados (um, how else do you tell if it’s ripe?), and said she’d show her how to do it.
Nup, I don’t need it when I’m shopping for fruit. I don’t need more hassle, I need a soft nectarine. Forget this store and its squeeze nazi, just go to the supermarket next door!