Balderdash

I keep trying this place hoping for something better but this time was my last. I will go to the place across the street next time. I ordered poached eggs on toast with avocado. Paid $ 5 for half a rotten avocado. No staff member could bring themselves to ask me how my meal was because they all could see I left the whole thing there, rotten side up. I didn’t complain because I didn’t want to risk the job of the cook. The eggs, toast and coffee was good, albeit a small fortune of $ 18.50. This will never happen again.
Last time I went there (2 months ago) I was turned away because they weren’t open yet. When I got back to the car, I noticed I was about 2mins too early. Wow! Turned away for 2mins.
Don’t bother with this place. There are much better cafes around with less tude and fresher ingredients.

Le meilleur de Port Melbourne à ce jour. Étant sur le décalage j’ai toujours hâte à l’ouverture des cafés. J’y suis donc allée à l’ouverture et c’était déjà bondé d’hommes et de femmes d’affaire ou de passants relax dans ce café simpliste mais oh si bon. Le café est littéralement la vedette avec seulement 4 tables et un comptoir mais une immense machine. Seul hic il est à consommer maintenant. Celui de mon chum était un peu tiède à l’arrivée.

So I found this place on Unilocal — always a good start! I popped in for a takeaway coffee and breakfast. I had their bacon and egg roll which was scrumptious! And excellent coffee! Staff were very friendly as well. And I loved the coffee machine! As you can see from the photo it is see through and very cute!

Great eatery, well supported by locals, who know a good place to eat & have a coffee.

So somewhere in my dreams there is a place that serves Mac and Cheese for breakfast without having to beg for it off the lunch menu. It is a dreamy place where the coffee is nice, they do iced chais and have sassy wait staff who never fail to make you feel like you have been a regular there forever. Welcome to Balderdash where all of this Melbourne girls dreams do come true, yes they have mac and cheese for breakfast! Given all this hype I probably should have ordered this but I didn’t, I have the corn fritter waffles with bacon and home made baked beans and they tasted like happiness I can promise you. My tip is book a table if you don’t want to wait as this place is a little packed on a Saturday morning!

The best Pulled Pork Eggs Benedict, coffee is superb. I would recommend to everyone. Friendly service excellent way to start the day.

This would have to be one of my fave places in Port Melbourne for breakfast, lunch or brunch.
I find Port Melbourne quirky at times. It still has the working class feel of dodgy pie shops, bakeries, fish and chips and chicken shops all around Bay Street. And then slowly — but surely — hipster places like Balderdash are slowly moving in.
These guys do a decent soy latte, and sweet slices to tempt you. The menu tends to focus on the classics and it can probably do with a bit more of an adventurous twist, but it’s sufficient. I’ve had the fritters here and they were ace, along with a chicken and corn soup for lunch. You wouldn’t rave about it, but it nourishes you.

*Review incomplete
Not a bad spot, you’re likely to always get a table. Menu a little bit boring, but does the classics well

Generally I only come here for coffee but today I had some time up my sleeve and a growling tummy so tried their breakfast.
Started off with a café latte, perfect as usual. Ordered the Chorizo, Mushroom & Spinach Scrambled Eggs and my partner in crime ordered the Pulled Pork Benedict with a side of smashed avocado.
The scrambled eggs were very good, the only fault being it was a little watery, likely from the spinach. The mushrooms were delicious and there was plenty of chorizo throughout.
The pulled pork was amazing, and the eggs were poached very well. The hollandaise sauce had a delicious mustard flavour, and of the two meals, this was definitely the winner.
Service was friendly and prompt, the atmosphere generally warm with many singles seated around enjoying their morning coffee. Definitely recommend.

Literally the best coffee in Port Melbourne — just avoid the coffee-​rush at 9am on Saturday morning!
I absolutely recommend this place — the staff are friendly and efficient, the coffee is amaze and the café has a real community feel about it. Love!

A dog friendly café in Port Melbourne, serving great coffee and a sassy waitress! Three strikes for the win.
Balderdash was a great brunch time spot for a ladies and puppies play date. With plenty of room outside for the 6 of us to sit down and relax. With ample people and puppies walking by for everyone to watch.
The service was spot on here. The waitress even watered the dogs for us. So delightful.
No idea what coffee was served today but it was perhaps one of the neatest lattes I have ever seen. Just text book perfection!

Nice coffee as always

It’s been more than 2 years since I reviewed Balderdash, so it’s time to give this a refresh.
I always liked Balderdash as my 1^st choice for good coffee on Bay St. Since then, they have only gone on the up and up.
Spearheaded by super-​knowledgable and passionate barista, Mark, Balderdash is no longer just the place for the best espresso in Port. It’s now an awesome place to enjoy a great selection of third wave coffee. From their own signature espresso blend, to single origins, to a list of up to 6 guest beans on filter — coffee nerds will feel right at home.
On weekends and mornings, the team here get slammed, so getting a table is not as easy as it used to be. The food offering is simple and consistent. No crazy culinary standouts, but always good solid choices (eggs, beans, fritters etc) and interesting lunches.
There’s outdoor seating that is usually taken up by people visiting with their four-​legged friends, with water bowls available for thirsty canine companions.
Overall a nice friendly suburban café feel with perfect coffee that will keep you coming back.

Thank goodness for Balderdash. Mark, Nick & their gorgeous team of coffee professionals have created something to skip down the street about.
Offering all the perfect café options.
Love just my plain poached eggs and their yummy pizza like omelettes. Yum.
Cakes, slices and muffins made in-​house.
Coffee options to satisfy the coffee nerd in us all. Cold drip, cold brew, pourover, etc.
Outdoor seating available. Love making new friends here, and making new friends with other furry mates too.
Oh and their custom coffee machine is really really groovy.
x

Decent coffee, delicious food. EVERYTHING IS SO GOOD. Go get them, tigers. :)

I have been here a couple of times and the service has been fabulous. The staff are friendly and make excellent food recommendations. Who knows — maybe all the food is good. Coffee is excellent. As are the lovely little cakes — try the wheat free, banana, almond flour and chocolate ganache muffiny thing next time you have an afternoon craving.
Lunch worth trying is the Moroccan Chicken Salad with mixed greens, mograbiah, preserved lemons, grated carrot, chickpeas and dressed with raita.
My friend enjoyed the BLTC wrap which, for a non bread eater like me, looked pretty tasty. There was loads of flavour, bacon, chicken and greenery going on inside a thin crisp wrap.

Nice café with a great ambiance.
I came here for breakfast yesterday and had one of the best avocado mountain sandwiches that anybody had every made anywhere ever. I think it is the best breakfast I have ever had. The coffee is quite nice, although I wish it was a little bit better considering I spotted the beans of Monk Bodhi Dharma. I still give the coffee a ⁴⁄₅ though. Perfect little area. Overall, great café.

I’m rarely in Port Melbourne but was here for an event last weekend and came by here for lunch.
Balderdash had an extensive menu and really friendly staff. I got the baked eggs per their recommendation, they were alright. Given that Melbourne does eggs pretty well, I was pretty disappointed but, not bad is what I would say.

Three day-​making things happened to me, on way to,
or at this place:
1. A dog walking down the street with a baguette in its mouth,
looking very happy and chuffed indeed. monsieur dog!
2. Discovering that PNG coffee was on the espresso machine
that day. Love PNG Coffee!
3.Finding a fiver on the ground, and thereby upgrading to coffee
and b’fast.
I’ve glanced in, and been past time after time after time. After 4 months
or so it become apparent that I needed to venture in. So Breakfast it is.
The menu is quite good, with all the usual range of firmly established
and favourite egg dishes. There’s a few vegetarian options too, and
and then specials. The coffee menu is extensive and solidly founded.
As for the coffee menu, one is spoilt for choice;
Single origin espresso. Single origin filter. Pour over. Cold drip.
and their own coffee blend. Rwanda, Guatemala are among
those coffee’s featured on the day. Skilled Barista btw.
The interior space itself is filled with old world objects;
A gasmeter/​safe/​clock/​solid metal chunk mystery object thing
An old type writer, and a spooky looking trapdoor in front of
the coffee menu. A world of lost charm. Laid back upbeat and
friendly service; relaxed yet on the money.
Altough I’m not covering new territory, I ordered the baked eggs.
(Chorizo, beans and awesome spiciness.) These reach the
holy grail of breakfast eggs: still runny (liquid) and soft yolks!
Be Gone horrid wretched and foul cooked solid yolks! Yuck!
Kudos points awared, none of this hard boilded silliness.
It was quiet when I visited, but I can imagine it at full tilt
when its busy and kaos. It would be entirely different.
Its good to take time out and explore it not on a weekend.
They also do a lunch menu, but I have yet to encounter it.
Kitchen Hours are 7am– 3pm, and the place itself closes
at 4pm. I assume seven days a week?
Nothing yet to fault, overall a good experience.

A relaxed atmosphere with fun and informal service, Balderdash was a nice addition to Bay Street when it opened about a year ago.
The boys here know good coffee and always nail a consistent cup. They have their own blend, created and roasted for them by Five Senses, along with a rotating list of singles from various sources. I recommend trying those as a pour over or cold drip.
This place gets pretty packed on the weekend when people file in for breakfast and lunch from a menu that has all the usual suspects. The homemade sweets are great — brownies, muffins and pink iced cupcakes are always a welcome pick me up in the afternoon.
With outdoor seating, bowls of water for the local dogs and the friendliest service, Balderdash is exactly what a local café should be — welcoming and easy.

In its early days, this place would have warranted a 4 – 5 star review, but as it stands I am giving it 3.5. When it first opened on Bay street I was delighted, the place was small and quaint, never over crowded with just the right amount of seating. I used to come for the feta and basil pesto eggs or the lime and goats cheese with poached egg on turkish bread. Like any good café that mets the demands & needs of its clientele, it quickly grew in popularity and I noticed the quality of the food start to drop, portion size and perhaps even the standard of service, waiting up to 40 minutes for a meal to arrive. I haven’t returned since that soured my experience and every time I think about going the crowds put me off.