Geisha Bar

Best place for a $ 10 glass of coke! If you expect a drink with alcohol in it this is most definitely not the place to be. If you also want the security to accuse you (a male) of being too drunk even though they hardly serve alcohol in their drinks than this is the place to be. No one should waste their time going to this place. It’s gross, way too loud, oh and they took a picture of my friends tits without her consent. So I mean that’s pretty cool.
This place is a joke. Don’t waste your time

I normally don’t ever write reviews for nightclubs as I find most to be a cesspool of human despair. But I saw Luke Vibert live at Geisha Bar last night for free with a couple of friends and I felt compelled enough by the critique of the place I wanted to break my conventional norms and post a review.
So I’d never heard of Geisha Bar before I saw a show advertising Luke Vibert playing there for free. I hardly ever go to Northbridge and never pay attention to anything other than our beloved and soon to be departed dear friend, The Bakery. So I would just walked straight past this place without ever realizing. I ended up tagging along a couple of friends to come down and watch Luke Vibert with me (who both bailed on me and headed to Amplifier instead). The only thing I knew about Geisha Bar before going there was that it was just past Connections.
On first impressions after security and ID checks, Geisha Bar immediately exuded the same wanky pretentiousness that I felt at Ambar. I had gone to Ambar a couple of years ago to see one of my favourite IDM artists Shed and even though Shed was incredibly awesome to hear live, I found Ambar to be the height of arrogance and self-​inflation in Perth’s nightlife. I just didn’t feel the venue suited either the people or the music properly (no offence to the guy who organized it there, he’s a good friend of mine).
Anyway, bottom line of my tangent about Ambar is that my first impression of Geisha Bar was of another possibly more tolerable Ambar. However as the night drew on, I found out that this place was so much better than I thought it would be. Some neat attractions include 5 or so 34 cm black and white TVs that were playing the director’s cut of Donnie Darko, an old school joystick arcade with Space Invaders and PacMan amongst other favourite and another arcade machine of a Nintendo fighting game. There was plenty of seating around with tables available that get pinched up by punters fairly quickly. The dancefloor was a bit of a sweaty and cramped feel but I’ve seen plenty of bands live before so I know this is usually the norm of any live venue. Listening to IDM and other electronica genres at this place was a much more enjoyable experience than I thought. Luke Vibert killed it but I had to leave halfway through to meet up with my friends at Amplifier. The whole experience made me think that if any other IDM or electronic artist decides to play at Geisha Bar, I know I’m definitely gonna enjoy myself.
My only gripe, other than the toilets being way too small. is that the staff are very arrogant and rude. Some of the bar staff were very helpful (I managed to get two Cokes for the price of one from a barmaid who accidentally made me two instead of one) but the door staff were incredibly stuck up and pretentious for me to enjoy their service. So they only lose points of that part of the experience.
All in all, it’s not The Bakery, no venue in Perth ever will be. It is however a neat alternative while scouring for a worthy replacement.

If you love House Music, Geisha in Northbridge is the place to be. The venue is perfect for intimate DJ sets and private moments with others. if you get what I mean… plenty of seating area around and a straight forward layout — 1 dancefloor, a square visible bar, 1 way in and out the venue.
No outdoor area unfortunately as the Geisha is on a second story. If you do require some fresh air, maybe a fag, just walk back down the way you came in on the dark flight of stairs (best to hold onto the rails, wash ya hands later!) out on the main strip of Northbridge. The Piazza is just across the road so «d’n’m» fans should be directed that way on the many chairs.
p.s if you happen to dance the night away til close. the sun might just be up when security usher your sweaty self out. Sunglasses are a must!
Ladies, flats shoes!
Men, maybe a sweat towel?

No credit cards and no tax receipts.

Geisha tend to get some pretty good DJs over to Perth. The first time I saw the Detroit techno DJ Theo Parish was was at Geisha, and he was fuckin awesome! He gets himself into a zone and disappears into the music. The place exploded when he played dusty cabinets… or was that just me?
I use to find the people here pretty friendly however the last time I came here, everyone seem moody and serious, but then I am finding that all over Perth at the moment. I think I have more fun cranking up the techno at home with the kids, they really get into it and don’t give a shit who’s watching– that is the true definition of cool.

If you’re not in the mood for stomping music or a big night, don’t come here. If you’re looking for a night of dancing into the wee hours to some cutting-​edge dance beats, you’ll be pleased.
Geisha is really all about the DJs and the dance floor. Between the loud sound system, the dark lighting and the limited seating; this nightclub is really not quipped for pick-​ups and catch-​ups, unless you share a cultured taste in heavy house. It’s not really that friendly and people tend to stick in their own groups — no mingling, just stomping and chomping.
Geisha is a hell of a good time if you’re in that mind-​set for sure, but a headache if you’re not feeling the ambiance.

I have mixed feelings about Geisha Bar, but the vibe is overall good. This is the club to go to if you want to party party party all night long. Don’t get here before midnight though, the place picks up much later with a barrage of house heads and dance music fanatics.
I usually attend if they have a themed night (love their 80s nights on Sundays!) and find their shooters are a great way to start the evening. A little expensive ($ 18 for one) but well worth it if you like your liquor sweet and strong.
I do feel the need to warn people about the step onto the dance floor. Approach with caution! I broke my foot on that step (told you the shooters were strong!). The bar staff were super lovely about it though, and gave me loads of ice, and the security guard even carried me down the stairs! What service!

Best club in Perth *IF* u are a house head

My favourite club in Perth, with a close second being Ambar!
The crowd is funky, the club even funkier, and the location central. Actually, the location is probably the worst part about this place cause it’s in the troublesome Northbridge. With guest DJs from all over the world visiting on a regular basis, any house head will have a blast here (guilty)! I also find that people at Geisha are more there to socialise and boogie to some awesome music than to be creepy and hit on you constantly. There are places to sit all over the club, a cool bar, and the prices are awesome. If you have birthday celebrations there, you and your guest drink for free until a certain hour (I don’t know how that works cause I’ve only ever been a guest and not a celebrant myself).
Best place in Perth yo!

Unless you’re a guy in your late thirties or older who loves to dance around to house music, in a sweaty mess with your t-​shirt off this isn’t the place for you. The crowd is friendly but you will probably get covered in sweat.

I’m not a huge fan of Geisha Bar, but that’s because it’s not entirely my scene. It opens at 11pm but isn’t really worth going to until at least 1am. If I’ve been to another bar or club that closes at 2−3am and I’m not ready to go home yet, it’s usually because I’m having fun with my friends and want to go somewhere where we can chat and have fun (so the casino, a kebab house that sells alcohol or a house party). I wouldn’t be interested in going into a techno-​blaring sweatbox for the next three or four hours. In fact, I would put money on it that most people who frequent the Geisha Bar have either taken some type of chemical stimulant or they’re trawling for some last-​chance-​saloon action to take home.
Then again, if you’re into that kind of thing, and if you have some special potion in your pocket specifically designed to make you want to dance to techno (you know what I’m talking about), then be my guest — the night is young in Geisha Bar!