McDonald’s

Arrived in Melbourne mid-​October of ’14 — a time that coincided with the Jehova’s Witness Convention. Went to Woolies to get some cheap water, but they had sold out — thanks to the aforementioned conventioneers (assuming). Decided to ‘upgrade’ to a cheap McDonald’s meal instead. Met a cashier in this establishment who invited me into her cartoon bubble of a conversation. (I was hip to that convo, with such a cute young lady chirping away.) Being in a rather titillated and festive mood, I danced around some shameless people who had apparently reached rock, er, floor bottom as I exited.
About 3 weeks later I arrived in the same busy location with a notion to buy 2 $ 1 Frozen Cokes as to beat the heat. I noticed that same cute little number was on duty, so I cued up accordingly. But then the tragic but all-​too-​common news would make its way straight to my face from my fleeting obsession, «Sorry, the machines are out of order. What are you gunna do with your life now, she exclaimed?» Pretending to be flabbergasted, I responded, «I don’t know. I’m gonna have to google it.» A «bye» from her that lasted about 4 seconds was the last word ever spoken between us, but her free and easy tone still resonates with me to this day.
As for the food: the high turnover yields freshness. Nuf sed!

McDonald’s cops a lot of flack, and very unfairly (in my opinion). We can all bemoan the health detriments from regular consumption; the high fat and caloric content, high sugar, questionable meat composition (although recent efforts have been made to remedy this), etc., yes yes it all spells heart attack and obesity. However, people often overlook one important thing; Maccas is DELICIOUS.
There are no less than 20 items on the Maccas menu that I would happily consume, from the salty and juicy quarter pounder to the sweet and crunchy apple pie.
It’s also brilliant value — for less than ten dollars, you can have a hearty feed. For less than 30 bucks you can feed a family of four.
There is always ample seating and often free wifi. It’s reliable and consistent, and in this world, these are both rare and valuable commodities. Get into it (in moderation).
Five stars.

It’s a McDonald’s, folks. Crap food, unhealthy ingredients, served fast, by a kind of evil company. Unless you’re drunk and/​or desperate, you can do so much better. Life is too short to eat here (and it might get shorter in the process).

Soooo… it’s kind of a funny story. But that’ll come later. First, the objective review:
1 star off because it always gets a bit dodgy and crowded in here. The crowd it attracts are a bunch of drunk people being loud and obnoxious as they do and leaving a big mess everywhere. The lines can get decently long also.
Pros:
~ It is one of the larger McDonald’s open all throughout the night with upstairs seating and a McCafe.
~ Convenient location in the city so it’s really awesome for a cheap and quick snack.
But back to my funny story.
The time was about 5 in the morning and I just spent a night out with my friends wandering around the city having a blast and we started getting cold, hungry, and needed a place to stay until the trams start running again.
We passed by this McDonald’s and to our disappointment, there were a row of chairs blockading the entrance with a security man standing out front. They were apparently cleaning for about an hour and were not letting anyone in… but then he beckoned us over, gave us free burgers, fries, and chicken nuggets that were left over from the day (but still tasty) and told us to sit down.
My 3 friends and I were a «mixed security» of a tall and skinny Englishman, a tall and skinny Australian, a 5’1 Asian girl, and a 5’1 girl in a dress and heels. Pretty threatening huh? Our job? Sit in front of McDonald’s letting people know that it’s closed for cleaning. Our under-​the-​table payment? Free food.
Great night.