Waroeng PA’E

Let me preface this review by saying: I do not want this feel. I never asked for this feel.
What is this feel? Guilt for writing a bad review of this place because the manager/​employees seem genuinely nice. But this has to be done — someone has to be the person to tell the kid there’s no Santa Claus and be the bad guy.
Ambiance: At first glance, this place looks reasonably nice. Their logo is of a smiling man giving a thumbs up — how bad can it get right? The answer: Really bad.
Customer Service: We should’ve known to run when we sat down and waited for about 10 minutes before anyone came out to serve us. The food came out at awkward times as well as if they only had one stove. So, so sad.
Food: Cheap prices, but not for what you’re getting. Over-​salted, cheap, pre-​mixed satay sauces you can find at your nearest Coles. I tried a bit of all my friends meals and everything had virtually the same bland flavours.
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Like I said, I feel a bit bad for writing this review because this place looks like it rarely gets any customers and the people looked really excited when we came in, but I came out of the meal unsatisfied. They really need to step up their game, or risk going under.

If you’re reading this review, you’re probably considering going to eat at Waroeng PA’E, which means I’ve reached you just in time. Allow me to save your evening and perhaps your life — don’t.
I’m hesitant to describe the experience or the food as I worry that maybe I won’t be able to fully capture it’s awfulness and you might find yourself thinking, «Hmmm, that could be okay…» No. It couldn’t. Mark my words, one does not simply enjoy one’s meal at Waroeng PA’E. What I got when I ordered Gado Gado was essentially coleslaw mix (raw as ever) doused in bottle satay sauce. However little you’ve got in your kitchen, you couldn’t possibly construct a less appetising meal. I resent ever having left the house. We actually went straight from this place to Hungry Jacks — the closest, cheapest way to get the taste out of our mouths.
As Keanu Reeves’ character so notably remarks in «Point Break», «You need a license to buy a dog, to drive a car — Hell, you even need a license to catch a fish. But they’ll let any incompetent layman open a restaurant.» And that is how this place manages to exist, and why I had such a disappointing and depressing dining experience tonight. As my friend put it upon our departure, «I feel bad for them, but then, I feel bad for me, too. I feel bad for everyone who was involved.»