The Wilde

What is it with me and gastro pubs? Everytime I go to one I end up paying a huge amount for what is in effect a really small meal. What is more confusing is that everybody else seems to get a decent sized meal. Maybe it’s because I simply don’t understand the scene, or rather that I prefer a decent sized portion that is more than just a duck breast, some garnish, and a couple of slices of potato. Why anybody would pay more than $ 10.00 for something like that is beyond me.
Anyway, we came here because my book club was reading some Oscar Wilde, and the host seems to know her Melbourne restaurants (and she has picked some pretty good places in the past). As a bar this place is pretty cool, but as a restaurant, well, as I’ve suggested, it’s gastro so don’t expect a cheap meal with a huge serving (unless you order the fish a chips). Personally, I’d come here for a beer, but will probably go someplace else for a meal.

I booked the upstairs Explorer’s Club for my birthday after having attended many an open mic up there. I was really pleased with how cosily the room was set up — lots of little conversation nooks and arrangements of chairs, tables and couches. The atmosphere was perfect. Staff were pretty attentive at clearing tables, and the catering was amazing. They even kicked us out in a gentle and fun way. I’ll definitely book here again.

Had the Sunday roast pork special for $ 20. Was not disappointed. The pork was cooked to perfection, the crackling spot on with a satisfying crunch. The seasonal vegetables were mostly delicious. The portion size was spot on, even generous. I also tried their regular burger and fries which was yum but at $ 18, perhaps a little pricey. The Sunday barman was a friendly chap who was helpful and informative.
I scanned the menu and saw some great sounding dishes so I will be back.

The Wilde is centrally located and has amazing specials. They have 15 dollar steak meals on Wednesdays and they are massive and pretty delicious: Big hunk of good quality cow served with the sauce of your choice, yummy chips, and a «hint» of salad. Drink specials were on until 7pm with 7 dollar glasses of chilly red table wine goin’ on all night long.
Bingo on Tuesdays and a very pleasant trivia night upstairs on Wednesday are both reasons to swing by The Wilde. The bar staff was hilariously cold, going as far as to give us the Fitzroy «evil hipster eye». Whatever. When the food and drink is this cheap you can flick cold french fries at me and call me a damn Yankee for all I care. Same service when paying 18 dollars for a cocktail and 30 for a meal (as you can do on a Friday night) and it’s a whole different game.
The décor is «rustic», with old floorboards, and creaky furniture. The ambience was further enhanced by a Vladimir Putin lookalike playing chess (!) at a long wooden table.
Pool table upstairs and Stones on the stereo. Great mid-​week destination.

You know what? The Wilde is a really good place to visit if you’re after an experience.
In this case, the world record for «Loudest drinking/​eating venue.» Seriously, let’s get
a bunch of hard surfaces, jam heaps of people in there, and start a 16 way yelling competition, then amplify that volume another 80+ decibels, its almost as bad as someone yelling into your ear with a megaphone. I’m really surprised that this place doesn’t have a government grant for hearing aids. How any of the staff can work here and still retain any form of moderate hearing function is beyond me. Now the menu is pretty good; I would eat there, but haven’t yet, and drinks are pretty good too, so nothing really to fault either way. It;s just that the Wilde is always Super busy and packed, and also Very LOUD. The Wilde indeed, not of the Oscar kind, because anyone would struggle to draft writing here, but becasue the place itself is Wild. A
very apt title indeed.

Comedy on the Thursday night was great, but the wine and bar staff were both woeful. I gave them the benefit of the doubt after the first disappointing glass of sav-​piss, but the second was just as bad, and the over priced cheap Shiraz secured my opinion of this place. Really disappointing, the owner is obviously a cheap skate. Unless you’re there for the comedy, don’t bother.

«Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes.» — Oscar Wilde.
Harsh, maybe. Bad night, perhaps. This is based on a dinner on a Saturday night.
The staff were indifferent with an awkward lean to disdain. It’s bar service, sure, but they still managed to project their malcontent right across the room.
The furniture, hard rubbish. Cocktails, limp. The food, passable. Atmosphere, post-​air raid. And there is a side room with club lighting that just looked wrong.
This may have been a nice place when it opened. Then it was left to rot, dangling on a shoestring.

What a great way to waste away your SUnday afternoon. Have a seat, grab your jug of cider and enjoy the home made gourmet sausages on offer.
$ 12 jugs, $ 8 Sausages. It can’t get better than that!