Calder & Mello

If your pretty débutante of a wife from San Marino turns into a capricious shrew and serves divorce papers days after the 10-​year anniversary, or if your 17-​year old flattens a Spandex’d bicyclist on PCH with the Prius, that’s when it’s time to call the boys at Wigglebottom and Cox, or some other heavy-​hittting white-​shoe, $ 900.00/hour downtown LA law firm.
But when you need to go after some deadbeat tenant with a fat wallet and two missed payments on the pickup truck, Calder and Mello are the ticket. I’m quite happy with the routine matters that Calder and Mello handles for me when:
–The tenant’s check was actually in my mail, but it bounced.
–The massage tenant pulls a midnight move after their money circle burns up somewhere between Burma and Vladivostok.
–An 800-​pound so-​called credit tenant wants to unilaterally assign their lease to a shell entity and bamboozle the owner with paperwork.
Granted much of UD law is routine filings, and Calder and Mello prices it right at around $ 100.00 or so for the initial service of the 3-​day. I’ve seen Kevin Mello in action at the courthouse and he’s low-​key and efficient. After winning a couple of judgements and collecting, I cannot complain.

As a gangstuh, sometimes people stop payin’ rent on your corners. My options are a) throw some lead, or b) get an eviction attorney. For this matter, I chose option «b».
When I choose an attorney, I want them to be like my personal hit man. I want a hit on my tenant– yesterday. I hire you– you do the deed. Clean, simple, and efficient.
What I don’t want you to do is have one your underlings do it, or subcontract my contract. Calder and Mello does everything via their non-​attorney secretaries. I get it. You don’t need a plastic surgeon to sew up a simple wound from a grazing bullet. But I don’t want the receptionist sewing up my wound.
I’m such a simpleton, I wouldn’t even mind if the receptionist sutured my wound if she had a lot of experience. Maybe she went to Nam as a medic during the Vietnam war or something, but I felt like I was being passed around from receptionist to receptionist. Worst of all, they acted so rushed or busy that I felt like a plastic toy in a toy factory. Ff I asked a question or had a concern, I was like a malfunctioning toy in their toy factory. They’d try to discard me by giving me the run around, having me call back a later time, or simply saying– «I don’t know when I’ll get to it.»
Seriously? I want this man done in, but after I pay you, you don’t know when you’ll get to it? Don’t you see that my corners or being taken over by deadbeat tenants and you don’t know when you want to get to it? Does Michael Corleone send Fredo to take out the Tattaglias?
Puh leeze. Don’t send Fredo to take out the Tattaglias. Send in the professionals. I’ll post a review when I find a decent eviction attorney. Calder and Mello… well, get ready to ride the merry go round of receptionists.