Paul E. Ruffer, LCSW-C

I met Paul at a time of personal crisis. He went above and beyond to make time to meet with me intensively to get me back on my feet. Even in recovery, I still meet with Paul weekly for reflection and guidance. Paul does not sit back passively and allow you to ruminate without direction. He draws on his extensive experience and wisdom to offer insight and guidance, which means there is a healthy balance of talking and listening. I have found this to be not only refreshing but also immensely more constructive than therapy sessions where you do all the talking. Paul is deeply and personally invested in his work and he gives generously of himself, allowing a deep trust relationship to develop. I would recommend Paul’s services to anyone who wants to live an examined life and is open-​minded enough to being challenged and guided in their thinking.

I have been seeing Paul on and off since 2011. It is hard to describe the work we have done together in a public forum such as Unilocal!,but believe me when I tell you it was life changing for me. Paul helped me navigate a difficult time in my life where I would go long periods of time without seeing my child. Over the years, Paul and I delved into other area of my life that I hadn’t ever considered giving a thorough examination. And as one would expect, over the course of our four year relationship, new life issues arose – from family health scares to office politics, and everything in between. Paul is very versatile and fluent in many types of issues. Paul is at once very cerebral yet down to earth. In short, you can talk to this guy! And most importantly, he makes you feel like you matter and your issues matter. Nothing is treated as insignificant if it is important to you.

Paul is warm, engaging, and open. I was fortunate enough to meet him during a difficult time when my spouse and I were both dealing with major career changes, and the time we spent together proved to be challenging, enlightening, & ultimately empowering. He’s quite skillful at helping you realize that not only do you and your feelings make sense (in light of your background and biology), but also that change is possible (though challenging) within the framework of the relationships in your life.
I myself struggled with deep depression for many years and compared to counselors I worked with in the past, I found Paul to be especially flexible and creative in allowing sessions to unfold in an organic way, and open to discussing his life experiences and even world events in a relevant, illustrative way. We really got a lot from mirroring and ‘language upgrades’, where you learn to reflect what your partner wants you to hear in a way that is honest and helpful – which is a brilliant approach since the one who is mirrored experiences genuine relief just to feel heard (note: ‘heard’ not ‘agreed with’), and the one doing the mirroring sees they can help their partner feel better just by listening and reflecting.
In any event, growth ain’t easy and it requires you to look deeply at the relationships in your life – if that sounds like something you’re up for, Paul’s a great guide.

Completely agree with the first reviewer! I saw Paul for a few sessions last year and it was a confusing and draining experience.
I felt like he would short-​circuit me quite a bit and go off on a tangent of his own. At times I felt like he talked more than I did. My experience was mostly of him listening for a few minutes at the beginning of the session, interrupting, repeating back what I said, and then going off on his own tangent. I never felt like I could finish a thought or a story/​explanation about something. He would circle back to me near the end, at which point I was disoriented and there would be no time to get into anything substantial. He just wasn’t a good listener and like the other reviewer said liked to «philosophize» more than anything else. There was another session where he just changed the subject to talk about the middle east conflict, which was completely irrelevant and inappropriate. It’s not clear to me that he’s following or staying on top of any evidence-​based approaches/​methods. Needless to say I did not find my time with him to be productive. I was hesitant about writing this review but if it would help even just one person make a better choice, then I think it’s worth it.