Smart Alex Restaurant & Lounge

«Thinking about how I’d rather have a root canal done by a kangaroo»
«They» say that every positive action occurring in life provokes an equally positive reaction. Those same «they» also say that a similar rule applies in correspondence with negative actions. With the exception being that when a negative action is initiated, then the reaction is returned doubly negative. «They» are seldom wrong.
The negative action: Allowing myself to be charmed by my girl into checking out a self proclaimed «hole-​in-​the-​wall» bar on Tampa Bays north side.
The reaction: This place sucks. Unclean and unfriendly, the place reeks of bar fights and under deodorized males. Out of towners beware this place is not for the squeamish at all. Its location is unsettling to say the least, and I wish I could say more about that part but I wouldn’t travel over to that area even in daylight hours. The barmaid we’ll call her «Bettina» to save face (but considering the emptiness of the place on a Friday night I doubt anyone in Tampa knows her real name anyway’ was almost insulting over the fact that I «dared» set foot in the establishment and not drink with my gf and our openly gay friend. «Honey, even if I were to stomach this swill you pass as liquor I for damn sure wouldn’t be drinking shots out of plastic cups!». The other patrons seemed to enjoy it enough, but from there overall appearance and demeanors they’d have probably been just as happy guzzling down Pabst Blue Ribbon at the 7−11/Gas station that was kitty corner to the place. And incidentally was a helluva lot more jumping. The most interesting thing about the place was the awesome CD jukebox (near the door in the corner) that was of course used only to play the «most tired songs imaginable».
Oh yeah?! Remember how I mentioned earlier in the review that there were TWO negative reactions?
The reaction #2: The «new» house band holding the ridiculous moniker of «Feng Shui» which the jam band leader could barely pronounce because he appeared already plastered b4 the dismal performance. The guitarist and organist were no Krieger and Manzarek, but they were definitely the highlights of the show. And the dimmer was the female lead whose singing voice was so low that I think she set off a few car alarms. Or that could have been someone actually stealing one in this dilapidated looking neighborhood. You know the music is gonna be bad, when all the performers are over 40 and have to use songbooks to play and sing Tracy Chapman’s «Give Me One Reason» and still manage to butcher it like they worked at Land and Sea.
It’s safe to say that this place probably doesn’t want me back, and that’s fine with me because at least we agree on something.