The Gottman Institute

Marketing and Merchandising Over Science and Substance
I attended a training workshop for clinicians. My interest was peaked as the Gottman Method claims to be «validated» and «research-​based». I asked the two guys doing the training (from Langley BC) for references to the outcome literature. At first they assured me that it is well validated but of course could not cite nor produce any outcome studies. Eventually they recanted and said that it is not an evidence based model and that they never said it was. They said I’d have to «intuit» my own sense of whether it worked. In my opinion this is the anti-​thesis to evidence based. I asked about the validity and reliability measures for the instruments (it is heavily reliant on assessment tools). Neither of these two understood what I was asking about nor even understood that instruments were the same as assessment tools. However that didn’t stop them from trying to baffle me with more BS.
From what I could tell, there was little in the way of a unifying theoretical framework but rather conclusions formed from research literature revising the myths and traditional assumptions in couples therapy. A lot of techniques are presented but not much to make it into a cohesive theory. But I have to say, given the lack of credibility in the presenters, I can’t take anything within the model at face value.
Bottom line, if the Gottmans want to present their methodology as conforming to sound scientific principles, why can’t their trainers speak intelligently on even the general topic?

I attended a weekend workshop recently and found the presentations to be really helpful and hands-​on.
I really appreciated how intimate the workshop felt, despite there being probably 20ish other couples in attendance.
I loved having multiple therapists around if I ever needed help.
The kit that they gave me is really useful, and different than what I expected to be given at a workshop (it’s fun, but challenging).
I would definitely recommend their workshop to any couple strong enough emotionally/​mentally to get through facing things that may have been hidden away.
The price is kind of high, but if both partners are keen on working together, this is a really big help.

Prepare for the money making entity The Gottman Institute is. Their books will tell you that counseling does not work and yet their trainings have counselors present. Why? They want to discourage you from therapists they are not connected with. One piece of their lengthy research seems useful: people like to stay in relationships that have a five to one ratio of positive to negatives. Other than that: self-​serving to the max and insulting to therapists outside their $$$ network that ‘counseling/​therapy does not work”. Beware !

My husband and I have worked with the Gottmans a few times now. The whole Gottman team is kind, professional, hard-​working and attentive to your needs. The workshops and materials were very helpful to us. Both John and Julie are amazing at what they do. Very motivatig time spent with them. Their years of experience really shine through at their seminars and in their books. I look forward to working with them again soon!

While I’m not QUITE as enthusiastic as a previous reviewer, I would strongly recommend the books and workshops offered by the Gottmans.
As a counselor, I often recommend «Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work» to clients who would like a bit of assistance in their relationships. My own reading of their works has helped me to provide better therapy and given me good ideas for exercises to do with couple clients.
Last weekend, I attended a Gottman workshop with my spouse, and it was very useful. We didn’t have any major problems going in, and generally felt pretty happy with our marriage. But the things we learned and the exercises we did made us even closer and more happy with our relationship. Again, I found much to be professionally as well as personally helpful.
One of my concerns with Seven Principles was how it seemed to be pretty heterocentric. So, I was pleased that at the workshop they were more inclusive in their language (often using «partner» instead of husband/​wife, and addressing differences between heterosexual and same-​sex relationships.
The workshop is a bit pricey, but if it’s too much they also have an «at-​home» kit for much cheaper. The only thing you miss out on with the at-​home kit is the opportunity to ask questions during the lectures and make use of the roving therapists during the exercises.
I am pleased with what I have learned so far as a result of this Institute, and I look forward to what will continue to come out from them.

The Gottman Institute. Hands down … Drs. John and Julie Gottman are ANGELS ON EARTH.
Normally, I wouldn’t be so open about personal challenges on such a public venue. I’d be a bit more discreet. However, I’m putting my caution aside so I can help others. Perhaps … OPEN YOUR HEART AND MIND TO IMPROVE YOUR LIFE IN THE MOST IMPACTFUL WAY POSSIBLE (underline twice).
Marriage is tough … I understand! Marriage with kids is even more difficult. How many of us had the BEST examples when we grew up? How many of us have taken classes in relationship and communication skills? How many of you are experts in your marriage or relationship? Have you actually figured out all the answers?
I recommend this seminar (and corresponding/​supportive materials) to all couples. This list includes: engaged, committed, married happily or struggling, those on the verge of divorce, couples with newborns, those with older kids or no kids. To clarify … ALL COUPLES! This also includes hetero and homosexual couples — The Gottman’s have done TONS OF RESEARCH and apply this research to steps and methods that could improve your relationship! The next workshop is in February in Seattle. Wouldn’t it be a wonderful Valentine’s present to yourselves?
What is The Gottman Institute? In a nutshell, the most comprehensive, research-​based organization for RELATIONSHIP BUILDING (marriage, partner and family). 35 years of research have contributed to the numerous books published and seminars developed.
SIMPLE TIPS: Gottman’s Marriage Tips 101
This research has been validated! This is not just mumbo-​jumbo of personal opinions — this is why I am such a fan. I can learn from others’ successful relationships and/​or failed relationships. I can do my part to prioritize my marriage and family above everything else. I can learn to communicate more effectively and build the bond with my husband. Thus, improve my outlook and productivity in all aspects of my life. SO CAN YOU!
Did you know that Microsoft is funding its’ employees to go to these seminars as part of their benefits programs? If that doesn’t offer credibility for the programs, then what will?
At the seminar my husband and I attended … there were 300 – 400 people. I didn’t meet anyone else. The workshop was conducted seamlessly to make the most impact of the time available for each couple to work on their relationship. I didn’t have to share my thoughts or issues with anyone but my husband (privacy was valued). There were speaking segments (quite entertaining, I must say) then breakout sessions for each couple. The exercises were relevant. The intention of the exercises was to practice a new skill and then take it home to practice even more!
This weekend workshop is not considered counseling. Simply, consider it a workshop. It was wonderful. No blaming. No hostility. Truly, guidance toward positive energy, hopeful engagement and renewed commitment to your relationship!
I hope I have helped at least one couple or family with this review. If so, please mark «U» for useful, «C» for cool, or «F» for funny to show your support. Us UnilocalERS really appreciate your U, C, and F marks! AND … Think about going to the workshop or reading one of their publications. Definitly, check out their web site at
ADDITIONAL RESOURCES
ON-​LINE QUIZ:
BOOKS: Some examples are «The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work,» «And Baby Makes Three,» and «Raising An Emotionally Intelligent Child.» Many more options
VIDEO: The Gottman’s Workshop for Couples
WEEKEND WORKSHOP: «The Art and Science of Love.»
CERTIFIED GOTTMAN THERAPISTS REFERRALS: