King County Metro Transit Bus Route No. 358

My friend suggested that we take the 358 from Aurora to Downtown one evening. Me, being only familiar with the 41 route, decided that I had nothing to lose. HAH. But we will get to that later. The trip to Seattle was uneventful. However, when we took the same bus later in the night to get back home, apparently I had everything to lose. I thought that I would take a small nap given the night’s events, and my crazy week that I had just had, and when I woke up, MY BRAND NEW IPHONE AND WALLET were both stolen. I have the police currently looking at the bus’s camera system to see if they can find the culprit, but in the meantime, to the asshole that jacked my things; I hope you sit in a puddle of urine the next time you are on this bus (since that seems to be a recurring theme from other Unilocalers talking about this route), and that you learn how to shove your own dick up your ass so that you can GO FUCK YOURSELF.
On the other hand, the bus driver was amazing. I wish I had gotten his name so that I could thank him personally. He was very empathetic and wanted to help in any way he could. So, thank you anonymous bus driver. You made my horrible night slightly better.

Oh 358. You’re always entertaining, sometimes frightening, and with the most hardass-​but-​full-​of-​grace-​and-​humor drivers. If I’m on this line, I generally need to be.
It might make an interesting people-​watching vector, but there are other places to gawk at the wilder personalities.
Also turns into a dive bar when persons bring their tallboys of fortified whatever into the back and chug en masse until they slump over on the other disaffected passengers.

A HAIKU REVIEW
What the hell’s that smell?!
Good Lord — Long drive and packed full.
Honestly — who reeks?!

I rode the INFAMOUS 358 this week from Aurora to downtown and. it was fine. A man shouted at another man — but only because other man had left his glove behind. Nobody defecated (that I could tell). Nonetheless it was worth the 2.50 and I would give 3 & a quarter stars if I could. ( Unilocal’s rating system is really crude)

Somehow, I always get the nicest, most talkative driver headed away from Downtown, and the most surly, unhelpful driver headed in.

Here’s a recent quote from a friend: «I’d rather walk from downtown to your house than ride that awful route.» I think that pretty much sums it up

The 358 metro will likely get you there, that’s the good news. Also, if you are a sociologist it will likely provide ample inspiration for your career.
I take the 358 when one of the actual express buses (why on earth is the 358 labeled «Express» when it stops at every stop on it’s long route?) is not available. This usually means I’ve stayed at work in downtown Seattle after the 30x buses have ended for the evening.
Why is the 358 so regularly «exciting»? Rarely does it fail to produce foul odors, suspect wet seats, unruly passengers, awkward seat mates, or general reality show entertainment along the lines of Intervention or Cops. But why? Could it be the riders bound for the methadone clinic? Homeless using the downtown to Aurora Village route as shelter? Whatever the reason, the 358 metro is guaranteed to be an experience worthy of writing home about. Heck, it could be its own Reality Show: «The 358».
Avoid if at all possible.

Oh, 358. The terrible things people say about you. You smell bad. You carry the wrong crowd. You take the long road to get there.
Yes, you sometimes smell bad but it’s not your fault. It’s not you, it’s us. We smell bad with our offending odors that permeate your very core. I’m sorry.
For 13 years, I have been unable to tell the difference between you, 358 and 358E. I think you’re trying to trick me and there really is no difference.
I try to avoid you but I can’t stay away. When it snows and all other routes are shut down, you’re there to take me to work. I don’t want to go to work so it’s a love-​hate relationship. When Christmas and New Year comes around, my commuter buses abandon me. But you are there. When I overstay my welcome at happy hour, you are there to sober me up with your colorful clientele — so when I get home, I am drunk no more. You run so frequently that if I miss you, I feel I will see you again in a few minutes.
358, you get a bad rap. I abandon you for the quicker, cleaner, commuter buses, but I always come back. Thank you for welcoming me with open arms.
Forever your devoted rider,
Monica

It wasn’t until after witnessing a third number two incident on the 358 that I actually moved residences just so I could take a different bus downtown to work every day.

7 years. 7 years of living in Seattle before I mustered the courage to ride the infamous 358. Timid and fearful, I would wait for the fickle and tardy Route 5 whilst fleets of 358s hurried past.
But now I am like Paul Atreides taming the sandworm! Join us, ride the 358!
Why? The 358 comes ON TIME and REGULARLY. Seriously, every 15 minutes or less.
Yes, it is stinky, crowded and once gave me a sinus infection, but the 358 is where heroes are born.

The 358 gets me from home to work reliably every day, and has for three years.
Yes, homeless people ride the bus too. And sometimes drunk people. Oh my god! Welcome to the real world.
I love this bus because you can’t hide from the reality that not everyone shops at REI, drives a Subaru, and works downtown or in Redmond for a cool tech company. I think it’s critically important for the health of society & democracy that people see and interact with different people, diverse people, people from other «classes». The 358 allows all of that.
Sure, there are unpleasant or uncomfortable moments. But man, there are a lot of haters on this review page!

This route’s saving grace is that it comes approximated every 10 minutes. If not for that, I don’t think I’d ever ride it. There are always crazy people on it, which leads to some very questionable objects left behind, smells, and experiences which the bus drivers seem to not care at all about. Granted, there are some great drivers that are friendly and helpful, but not often enough. Usually the drivers are unaware of the state of their bus, the comfort of their passengers, and their driving, especially when the bus gets so full they have to start telling people wanting to get on that they will have to wait for the next bus. I avoid it when I can, but often its just the most efficient way to get where I’m going, even if the experience is usually disappointing.

I’m giving them five stars because they always leave enough room for me to merge in front of them in Aurora traffic! kthxbai!

I find myself torn…
This bus is always fully of the crazies. And sometimes that is horrible, and sometimes it is horribly awesome/​amusing. So i’ll average out really bad with the really good and give ‘er a 3.
I ride the 358 fairly regularly — either up to Greenwood or down to the ID, and i’ve yet to ride this route without there being some sort of smelly person/​alcoholic/​nut job or combo of the 3 riding it there with me.
A smattering of the type people you might meet:
A man who smells strongly of tequila and a hamster cage…
A middle aged gentleman sobbing loudly and uncontrollably next to you…
A woman screaming about how both judges and bus drivers are poisoning our children and how they are the same a**holes who shut off her phone and let OJ Simpson walk…
A young man trying to convince his GF the woman she just heard in the background is NOT someone he is sleeping with…
A Mickey Rourke look-​a-​like who is so drunk he can’t be understood when screaming at the people entering/​exiting the bus…
Keep your eyes down and headphones in folks, but just pretend to be listening to the music cuz you really don’t want to be missing out on this freak show.

Heading Northbound after work – not terrible, if you can manage to look uninteresting enough to not attract the plethora of homeless and drug addicts passed out on the seats around where you stand. Try wearing earth tones as these blend into the background and tend to offer a degree of invisibility to the drug-​altered mind.
Southbound in the mornings is a joke. Literally. Where most timetables for routes are rough suggestions at this point, the 358’s are actual punchlines.
«Thought you were making it to work for 8:30? How about 9:15!» Ba dum.

The 358, I don’t need to repeat other sentiments, but I will tell a story I experienced, I do have a few, but these two will stick with me. The first one was when my love and I were riding home together on the bus. We were both tired from putting in 8+ hours of good, honest work. This couple sat in front of us were counting money. The man came up with the total of 400 dollars, while the woman made 550 dollars. I was thinking, damn, what did they just get done doing? Well as we chugging along the route going up towards Shoreline from Downtown, the man and woman were comparing their earnings. We found out that these two lazy, low lifes made their money by standing on the corner «begging» for money. They were giving each other tips where to stand and to possibly trade corners with their other buddy, for 20 dollars. I was pissed hearing this story since I make an honest living while these two scam people, along with their network of other people. They make 400+ dollars a day, (more than I make of course). They were both excited to go home and put on clean clothes. Makes you sick, after hearing this story I no longer trust potential real transients.
The second story is just plain gross, this girl fighting on the phone with her now ex boyfriend, slammed her cellphone shut, and loudly announced she gave her boyfriend herpes and a string of other diseases as a way to get him back for cheating. I tell ya the back of the bus quickly emptied out. Eww… I am going to make sure I carry a bottle of Purell the next time I hop on this bus. I am so glad I drive to work more.

This bus will be driven by the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse on that fateful day when fire rains down and the seas rise up to swallow this ungrateful earth.
As we can never be certain when that day will come, I recommend boarding backward (so as not to cast eyes upon demons) and prominently displaying a crucifix while loudly exorcising any evil spirits in close proximity.
This will at least keep the other crazy fuckers at bay.

I’m just saying, that when I am driving in my pickup, I don’t get to see the homeless guy re-​depositing his Olde English 800 or Private Stock in the stairwell of the back door. No I don’t! Nor, do I get to smell that super-​model-​in-​waiting that is the chick with the puffy coat –you know that one… It used to be purple but now is kinda teal and dirt and its dog fur collar is matted down like its wear-er’s hair — and those horrible leopard print stirrups… I’m just saying…
I had the privilege of riding the 358 off and on for about a year. And not just a little bit… No, I got to be on this ghetto love chariot from Aurora Village all the way to downtown! And I found myself more often then not, on the first bus in the morning out of Downtown — that’s when all of the homeless and hookers migrate north for the day — and an evening ride from Shoreline — which varied in its excitement. I had my fill of the good times on that bus! I saw cops board the bus several times. I was on one that broke down and then the cops were called when people got rowdy waiting for the next bus… And I was hit on by gross creepy old fucks more times then I care to remember.
Why put yourself through this if you don’t have too?! I mean, I know that there are times. But really… Is it worth it? I think not! The only thing that kept me sane on that bus was, 1) my ability to breathe through my mouth without looking like a stalker or my brother and 2) my ipod that I could turn up really really load… Then again, I always had to hide my ipod for fear that someone may over power me by shoving my face into their armpits and then steal it from me… I’m just saying…
5 Stars for the smell!

The 358, aka «The Disease Wagon» does run up and down Aurora and at peak times it runs with good frequency.
However, some of the riders are more than crazy. Some are bigoted asshats who mutter murderous commentary not-​entirely-​under-​their-​breath about killing those mother fu*king f*ggots.
Speaking of the liberal left coast, it sure is nice to have moved away from the hating midwest. I’m so glad I’m riding the 358.
But seriously, one day, I was sitting on the bus, reading a book, when suddenly, I heard a thick, deep, voice say steadily and calmly, if quite loudly, «YOU KNOW, I GET AROUND.»
I looked up ahead of me. I didn’t want to just spin around because it sounded like someone was about an inch from my ear when they said this and I thought it might be rude to turn around and be right up in someone’s grill. But then, as I gazed forward, pondering the right moment to casually glance behind me, the voice came yet again.
«YOU KNOW, I GET AROUND.»
Naturally, the time for delay had passed. I turned gently and found living, breathing proof of human evolution in the form of that ever-​elusive «missing link.» (Yes, I realize the «missing link» has been identified — in fact several have been identified — since the introduction of the phrase into our social linguistics, however in this case, the phrase is a funny way of saying cromagnon man seemed to be sitting right behind me trying to strike up a conversation about his sexual proclivities.)
I made an acknowledging face while attempting to avoid any hint of encouragement. Sort of a smiling «Ah!» kind of face accompanied by an «I understand» nod, which is not to be confused with the more eagerly presenting «Please go on» nod.
Alack, this poster child for physician-​assisted suicide did not seem to understand the difference.
Fortunately, he went on only to say that he enjoys seeing the Northwest by traveling on Metro’s amazing public transportation system. «Oh, yes, it is lovely here, isn’t it?» I cooed in what I hoped was a soothing tone. My stop was thankfully only five blocks away.
As I left the bus, I am certain I overheard him ask a frightened looking woman if /​she/​liked to get around…
Never a dull moment on the 358.
**UPDATE**
If you enjoy reading Patrick G’s reviews, don’t believe a word of it. I never discuss my almost supernatural ability to detect the presence of lean, brown things with good hair and preferably a black wife beater, nor what I would, or would not, do with it.
On the other hand, I have been known from time to time to uncontrollably free-​stack when they come around, so.

This is a little history of route 358 — at the time, this route was 359, which no longer exists according to Metro’s timetables:
On November 27, 1998, Silas Garfield Cool, a mentally ill individual, shot and killed Mark McLaughlin, a Metro bus driver, as he was driving his bus over the Aurora Bridge, causing the bus to crash through the railing onto an apartment building some 12 meters below, directly across the street from the Fremont Troll. Cool fatally shot himself in the head after firing on McLaughlin. Herman Liebelt, 69, died as a result of the accident and 32 other passengers were injured. The Fremont Troll became an impromptu memorial site for the victims of the crash; mourners left flowers, notes, and mementos at its base. And, for a time, the Troll sported a single (paper) tear below his left eye.
Thousands attended an emotional public memorial service for Mark McLaughlin on Tuesday, December 8^th. More than 60 buses from Metro and around the region took part in a procession from the Kingdome area to the memorial.
In McLaughlin’s memory nearly all in-​service Metro buses stopped and observed a moment of silence at 7 p.m. on Thursday, December 3^rd. At that hour King County Executive Sims announced that Metro would be retiring the number of Route 359, McLaughlin’s route, «so that years from now, people will ask why? And we can remember a person. .. we never want to forget.» See
:
Silas (aka Steven) Cool got a chapter in Ann Rule’s book «A Rage to Kill», if you’re looking for more background on the story. As far as I recall, Cool’s apt was searched through and a video of a movie with the same scenario was found (passenger shoots bus driver, bus goes off bridge). Like he was rehearsing.
358 has always been problematic because it goes up Aurora, which is a prominent area for prostitution and drug dealing. Talking to some people who have condos there, apparently most of the activity happens in the daytime, not at night — the availability of cheap hotels partly fuels the fire.
Most of the hookers look and dress like any run of the mill younger females, with perhaps an additional detail or two, like stiletto heels. Vancouver, BC is where streetwalkers really look like streetwalkers. Not so in Seattle.
When I was in HS, I went to the New School of Visual Concepts, which is located on Aurora close to downtown. I’d be standing at the 359 bus stop on the way home, about 9 pm with a huge art portfolio, only to attract the attention of just about every male out on the prowl on Aurora. «Whoo hoo!!!» they’d yell as they’d screech past, somehow or other quickly get on my side of the street, and stop to ask me if I wanted to party. I looked at them like they were nuts. What the hell did they think I was doing with a damn art portfolio? Do hookers carry these things? Thank god a girl in the class started giving me rides home.
I once had to ride this route for a couple of weeks in the 90’s, every morning I would run into a group of drug addicts getting on the bus leaving from some rehab/​counseling center on Aurora. They would then spend the rest of the ride talking about how they were scamming their Dr.‘s for prescription meds.
A guy I know who works at my local convenience store had his mountain bike stolen. He pointed out the suspects and I immediately recognized them as two of the addicts who ride the 358.
And to the Libtard who wants to «keep it real» and «celebrate diversity» because we MUST be reminded that not everyone drives a Subaru or shops at REI (Can we talk?) :
I grew up with a much older sibling heroin addict. I actually spent a summer vacay visiting the loved one at a rehab center, and had to escape Cali in the middle of the night with the family cause Ol’ Sis decided to get involved with a drug gang who eventually put a contract on her. When I came back from school, the hit dude was actually sitting on the couch in the living room waiting. Shades of No Country for Old Men. We packed the same night and got on Highway 101 to Washington state and never looked back. And if you think this is a problem of poverty — she used to hang with addict rich people, who can dodge jail a lot easier because of $.
I am at a point where I feel I deserve a weirdo free life from now on. You can keep it real. The 358 is your ticket to the zoo. I’ll keep it pleasant and ride Community Transit.
The 358 has been noted to have lots of «issues», both by Metro and the general public. Bus drivers call easy routes «sweetheart» routes, and this ain’t one of them.