Hickory Farms

I have been trying to reach customer service for three days. All their phone lines are experiencing «technical difficulties» and my 3 emails have gone unanswered. My gift package has not been delivered and I have no way to track it as they did not supply any tracking info. I will never order from them again. They are the worst company for customer service I have ever dealt with. I will go to my credit card company to get a refund. Do not order from them.

Poor communication — disappointed
I ordered a basket for an elderly neighbor… a week goes by and I get an email letting me know the basket is on backorder. Why would it take a week to advise on backorders? Now I have to scramble and find something else.

Total Failure to provide the product and any resolution, do not buy anything from Hickory Farms!!! I order a gift basket on 12÷19÷13. The person I sent it to did not receive it by Christmas as promised by Hickory Farms, in fact not at all! I tried using the tracking number on their website and the service doesn’t work! Further, I tried the tracking number on UPS and it’s an invalid number. If this were related to the UPS or Fedex issues that many retailers had this year, then maybe a statement to that effect should have been posted on their website. Next, I tried the customer service link under «contact us» and it doesn’t send the message. I tried it three different times today on two different devices and it simply doesn’t work!!! Lastly, I tried the customer service phone number and the voice prompts in the IVR just give me the aforementioned tracking number that doesn’t work. I called back again and used the option to speak to customer service and guess what? It rings once and goes to dead air! Every customer service option this company has is a total failure!!! I am out $ 40 bucks and will never purchase anything from them again! My only recourse is to have my credit card company attempt to obtain a refund from them.

Just spent an hour driving in the cold rain looking for a Hickory Farms. Their website store locator is out-​of-​date. The following Publix location no longer exists:
2162 Henderson Mill Rd NE Atlanta, GA 30 345
I called and reported the error and the manager kept putting me on hold while I was talking to him. Very rude. The least he could do is say, «Thank you.» Merry Christmas to you sir!

At a holiday party this past weekend, I delved into my first cheese ball. After a quarter century in this country, I experienced a new American culinary delight. I couldn’t explain the joy of novelty that was mixed with the revulsion of spreading soft, synthetic, nuclear-​orange «cheese» goop on to a cracker.
My Midwestern delicacy cherry had been popped, preparing me for the pre-​Christmas week onslaught of holiday packages from many and sundry business clients around the country. I delved into all this artfully packed, overnight-​shipped food with great gusto. At the forefront of this frenzy of Fedex food: The «Tastefully Yours» gift box from Ohio’s Hickory Farms.
The contents of said gift box:
— 7 oz Beef Stick Summer Sausage
— 4 oz Smokey Bar
— 4 oz Chedd’r
— 4 oz Chedam
— 4 oz Chavarti
— 4 oz Cheez N Onion
— 2.25 oz Dijon Mustard
— 2.25 oz Sweet Hot Mustard
— 2 oz Hot Pepper
— 2 oz Smooth N Sharp
— ²⁄₂ oz Cheddar Chubs
— 3 oz Havarti
— 2 oz Christmas Celebration Coffee
— 2 oz Columbian Supremo Coffee
— 4 ct Petits Fours
— 1.5 oz Chocolate Torte
— 2 oz Cookies
— 1.5 oz Orange Marmalade
— 1.5 oz Strawberry Preserves
I wasn’t exactly sure how the petit fours and coffee fit into this deli-​from-​hell equation, but I sampled everything just the same. There’s no need to do a run-​down of each item, because other than the aforementioned coffee and petit fours — and maybe the cookies and jelly — they taste exactly the same.
Whether it’s the Beef Stick, the Smokey Bar, the Chedd’r (obviously not real Cheddar), or the Chavarti, it all winds up as mouthfuls of overly salty blobs of processed goo on your palate. It’s an experience not unlike manning a meat n’ cheese glory hole for six hours straight, only you get it all in a dozen bites over the course of a few minutes. It’s as though a scrap bucket of meat and dairy-​like products were put in a Cuisinart, some sort of emulsifier added, and various dyes and molds used to make the slurry resemble different products.
Now you might think it’s unfair of me to be reviewing this. Sending a self-​proclaimed gourmand at a Euro-​centric company with the internet as a soapbox a tray of processed cheese food from Ohio is like throwing a chubby, bacon-​wrapped baby to a pack of rabid wolves. It’s just asking to be shredded to bits. But I’m an open-​minded guy. I’ve eaten various headcheeses, egg sacs, organ meats, and even whale blubber — and liked them. Anything is fair game.
So when a product tastes like what I imagine to be the congealed jizz of some salt-​based being from the bowels of the midwest, I’m gonna call it like I see it. Thus, I hereby coin the term Buckeye Bukkake. I think it perfectly describes the oral assault that is the Hickory Farms gift box.
You don’t even want to know what I think of the desserts…