Green Eggs and GAM

A friend recommended I try this supposedly quaint and charming «B&B», so I thought I’d step inside for some late lunch after my weekly sojourn through the park. However, after being admitted and seated, instead of being greeted by a waiter, a disheveled-​looking doctor hurried out and informed the other patrons and I that we were in fact needed to help combat a series of mega-​diseases that were spreading across the earth before they wiped out mankind. I was pretty miffed, seeing as I had an intended to go succulent-​browsing later that day, but the situation at hand seemed rather dire so I agreed to help out at least until we had exterminated parasitic infestation in Latin America. After a series of hectic, haphazard responses and close calls, we had contained much of the epidemic but the doctor insisted there was still more to be done. Now, this whole time none of us had been served so much as an $ 8 slice of toast, and despite the gravity of the situation our host-​cum-​physician kept cheerfully spouting puns, which seemed kind of tactless. Ultimately we failed to cure the last virus, and so here I am posting this review in the ensuing apocalypse to warn you to absolutely not try this establishment, even if it’s the last thing you do (which it probably would be).