Bonkers

This place was closed up, but the sign and mysterious front door tucked tighly back into the wall in one of the most unfriendly fashions I’ve ever seen won my heart quickly. BONKERS, I LOVE YOU!

I was working on the floor of the Pacific Stock Exchange back in 2000, just years before it too went the way of digital interface, and I walked by Pine street every day, noticing the bright banner of Bonkers arcade hanging temptingly outside the brick façade. Finally, one night some friends and I decided to see what it was all about.
The first thing that hit us was the acrid mix of stale and fresh cigarette smoke that hung like a distant memory in the narrow room. Being hipsters ourselves, we pulled from our pockets various tobacco agents and made like the locals.
About half the games had their knees broken and their eyes gouged out. It was half museum, half living thing. And you knew, judging by the wear of the carpet and the weary heavy-​lidded game of mah jong being played in the office, that once a game went dim, it would never be repaired.
We didn’t spend long there that night. Can’t even remember what we played. But it doesn’t matter. What matters is that we were able to spend some time in one of the last great arcades in America. Up a flight of old narrow stairs and away from the bustle of the financial district, this arcade held out for as long as it did because there are some among us who value old fashioned video game magic.
Do I lament its passing? Do I wish I had lived in a former time when arcades were ubiquitous and socialization didn’t take place in front of a computer?
.

So sad this place closed down. When I was a kid living in downtown sf in the 80’s this was my playground. This is were I fell in love with pinball and listening to cool 80’s music on the pinball machine. When I got by there I get a little nostalgic and wish it was still open. Oh well thanks for the memories and for being there because I had no park to play in this was it and it helped.

I stopped by during posted business hours after reading about Bonkers on Unilocal.Unfortunately, it was closed/​locked up. I called and the phone rang forever without answer. The sign was still up and remains there to this day. Maybe it will open again but it doesn’t look good in my opinion. I would save the time and don’t go here unless you call first and confirm that it’s open again.

My friend and I stopped by this arcade, because we were staying up the street at the Hilton during a software developers conference.
Whenever I’m in a new town I always try to search out any nearby arcades just to get a feel. I saw the great old «bumpers» arcade painting in the second story window with a classic Pac Man Mural and I figured this place might have a few classic arcade games.
When you first open the door you are greeted to a narrow, dank, dimly lit stair way leading up to a landing that is half filled with random broken furniture and dusty boxes.
We opened the door and looked up and both of us paused. Our fight or flee instincts kicking in big time. Before heading up we poked our head into the italian food place that is right down stairs from Bonker’s. The dudes in the Italian place just laughed and said «don’t bother». But then one of them cautiously said it was «OK». This must be some use of the word OK that I was not previously aware of, as there is nothing «OK» about bonkers. Bonker’s is to the world of Arcades what the downtown Sacremento Greyhound bus terminal’s 2^nd floor men’s room is to the world of Day Spas. Meaning that it isn’t anything even close to the definition of OK.
But we were intrigued by this guys qualified endorsement and figured that we had nothing better to do so we pushed aside the slightly agape door and headed up.
Upon reaching the top floor we were greeted by a sight that was as terrifying as it was surreal. On the floor near a dusty assortment of inoperative frankenstiened arcade cabs was a man who could not possible weighed less than 350 pounds. He was completely passed out face down on the floor. At least I hope he was passed out. I didn’t really want to nudge him.
The only other two individuals were a 65 year old chinese woman who was smoking and leering at us as if she was waiting for us to whip out or badges and hall her in to the INS. And a bleary eyed transient who was playing some sort of slot machine game that was housed in an old Rastan Cabinet.
The assorted cabinets and pinballs were impressive, but the only ones that were «operative» were either hacked together mah jong games in classic arcade cabs or had screens so burned in that it was hard to tell if they were even on or displaying the game the marquee claimed them to be. None of hte pinballs were on. Several of the pinball tables were in various states of disassembly and one corner of the shop was completely given over to someone’s bicycle work bench.
We silently and slowly turned around and headed out without saying a word. The place was deadly silent as we headed downstairs. None of the machines had audio and no one spoke. It was the creepiest two minutes of my life, and I’ve spent several new years eves bartending at a cat house in Nevada… so I’ve seen my share of scenes that would disgust and horrify even the most jaded of street thugs.
Speaking of street life, we were passed on the stairway down by a Amazonian woman in tight shorts and a tank top. I’m not sure which game she was on here way to play… but it led me to believe that Bonker’s is a poorly envisoned front for either prostitution or drug dealing. Or most likely both.
Do not be tempted to go to Bonker’s. It looks pretty promising from the outside, but the inside is little more than a sad shell of what may at one time have been the best arcade in China Town.
UPDATE:
My friends were in town for GDC and said this place was boarded up now. so sad to see another arcade go out of business, but this place was really horrible.
Wonder what’s gonna happen to all the orphaned cabinets.

Man I’m an old school video game and pinball nerd but I stopped by here last night while riding around trying to figure out where to eat dinner. Anyhow, there were four legs protruding from under a table, and I didn’t really care to find out if it was a couple of corpses or some folks sleeping, or just some severed legs. The guys who worked there were watching TV and seemed a bit jittery when I peeked behind the wall to the area where the legs were.
That’s off topic though — as Margie B said, more than half the machines seem to be broken and they have a rag tag grouping of games. The most interesting one for me was Raiden 2. Alas, my hunger pangs overwhelmed the urge to play games and I bolted after the walk around of the place…

It looks to me like this place has just reopened as I walked by and saw their big OPEN neon sign lit up.
I got all excited because I used to date Pacman a little while ago, and anytime I can get near him and his old friends i feel all warm inside.
So I ventured up Bonkers’ dark, freshly painted staircase.
But I did not see my long time lost lover.
No.
Instead, I saw a few working machines outnumbered by broken ones.
I noticed a half passed out man, sitting in front of his poker machine, trying to finally win.
I got a glimpse of another old man, practically hidden in a closet, ready to change dollar bills into quarters.
I did not hear any music other then the few arcade sounds here and there, avoiding a complete silence in a very awkward way.
I played one game and left right away.
It might have been better for Bonkers not to reopened.
It is now cold, uncomfortable and quite uninviting.
I don’t think I’ll return anytime soon.
It took my Pacman’s 3 lives. But he still has my heart.

5 stars for establishments promoting positive use of the word «bonk» and derivatives thereof!

The internet. Console Gaming. Computer reliance. These are many of the causes that have lead to the death of video arcades. Once they were many, thriving, flourishing, but mighter beasts of individualty came to crush them beneath their heels. Such is the course of evolution.
Hidden away in depths of the financial district, one of these lost gems of ages past has managed to hold on, if only barely. Crawling up the gritty stairwell, I am greeted by a hall of fallen arcade boxes, many displaying the faded art from games of their former glory, replaced by games barely known or recognized.. Half of the games or off or broken. Those that remain run a limited selection. What was once the SImpsons, then Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles game, now replaced with Dungeon and Dragons. The Darkstalkers arcade box features a a broken joystick, easily removed from its rightful place and only capable of moving right or up. In the corner there is a small section of video gambling with four locals huddled around. This place is a pit.
And still, I love it.
I am reminded of my youth, and what must have been bonkers former glory. Teens and ‘tweens surrounding each console, jawing and braying, excitement and fervor fillingthe air. Challeneges, cooperation and community unique to an era. This stands a testament to a lost time.
I pour quarter after quarter into Dungeons & Dragons, move on to Alien vs. Predator, Tekken Tag and make my challenge against a fellow at Darkstalkers. I watch as a starlet plays her hand at the Star Wars pinball game, smooth, precise and without distraction. The flippers of the pinball move like a ballet. The kicks of the Tekken fighter form modern dance choreography. This is my theater. The games are my stage.
Bonkers, my heart (and quarters) are with you.

wtf, everyone loves this place? it was rundown, pretty trashy, and the pinball i played was NOT cheap. we played 2 different arcade games: 1 of them the action button didn’t work and the other one the joystick didnt move left… yea…real great place.

An old video game room from a distant state of mind. Through the unmarked door between an alley and a downtown bar, up a rickety worn staircase to a dark musty walk-​up, you walk into a Quentin Tarantio location shot in East Hartford, 1972, just before somebody gets killed. Papers all over the floor, tiny office rooms strewn with debris, window light shafts streaking the dusty air. And there they are, an odd assortment of pinball and video machines, new and old. Ms. Pac Man to Pirates of the Carribean. But mostly from the era where the FBI was telling you not to do drugs. A soda machine. No food, no booze, no logo gifts, just slots for your quarters. It opens early and closes early. Your boss will not find you here.
Someone must care because the machines are in very good condition. You don’t find pinball play this good in a bar, although you do pay a little extra for the privilege of doing it amidst the skyscrapers and the office workers on lunch break.

Bummed… they are CLOSING…
PINBALL ALERT!!!
Pirates of the Caribbean (POTC see:
) — new condition: $.75 = 1 game
Star Wars (Pinball 2000) (see:
)
Buy’em now while they’re hot… SORRY they’re all gone (except the 2 above)!!!
All the machines (pins) went for $ 500 a piece!!! Dang…

Yeah, this place is a dive, but… where else can you play cheap ass, old school video games here in the Financial District???
The dirty, run-​down feel of the joint is definitely part of the charm.
They have 4 or 5 pinball tables and lots of old arcade games with a handful of more «recent» (1990s) ones, too.
Almost all are .25 or .50 cent games… where else can you find that in the era of the $ 2+ game?
I highly recommend you stop by Bonkers someday to satisfy your arcade fix. Don’t pay $ 2 for ONE game anymore… that’s a rip-​off!
5 stars for the nostalgia-​kick and for being cheap.

A tattered awning alerts you to this «amusement center» located in the city’s Financial District. Upon entering, a wooden staircase greets you. Make your way to the top to find a whole floor loaded with old school video arcade games, as well as a number of pinball machines. I enjoy a game of pinball now and then, and while the machines look a bit run down and grimy, they’re still loads of fun – and not to mention, cheap. Two dollars worth of quarters in hand, and you can easily waste away your lunch hour here.

It’s really a 3 star arcade, but since it’s the ONLY one I’ve seen in the downtown area, it get’s that extra star for being THAT special.
It’s a great idea to waltz in here during your lunch hour and let off some steam while playing a little Street Fighter or old school Off Road. The pinball games are pretty sweet, although a little expensive ($.75), but the aesthetic of actually being inside and arcade makes it worth it.
It is kinda weird though to see a small family sitting on the office’s floor watching cartoons. Otherwise, it’s good to be there playing games just like I did as a tweeny.

It seems odd that the entire Kearny Street in the shadow of the BA tower is a depressing, aesthetically blighted corridor crying for urban renewal. Yet this is the case, and Bumpers adds to this, as a depressing aesthetically blighted pinball arcade up a rickety flight of stairs.
All that said, and forgiven, Bumpers saved me a few years ago when I had a wretched temp job in the BA tower for a few weeks. It was one of a series of jobs, copying, filing and sorting documents at depopulated and dying tech firms — as the SEC circled and the last bits of capital burnt away. I remember another such job where I toiled at the copy machine, while the CEO’s dog roamed around the newly built building under whiteboard predictions of impending and certain fiscal doom, the dog would wander into empty offices, howl occasionally, and pee on the legs of unused, still wrapped Aeron chairs.
It makes little sense that I wanted to spend my lunch engaging in yet more repetitive tasks, but Bumper’s had the Ninja Turtles’ pinball machine. That’s the one I could never play as a kid ’cause I never had the quarters and the tough older teens hogged it all the time even if I did. At Bumper’s, and employed, I could play with the Turtles all I wanted, thus escaping from both that squalid stretch of Kearny Street and the blasted economic realities of late 2000 SF.

Bonkers is the last Arcade in San Francisco. In the 80’s and 90’s San Francisco had many lush arcades but due to many factors, many of them closed down.
Bonker’s features about 5 or 6 Pinball machines and over a 20 or so arcade machines on the second floor. Machines range from Classics like Pacman to fighting games like Marvel vs. Capcom. Make sure to bring 1 doller bills, since the change machine only makes changes for dollar bills but there is usually an attendant there that can break a $ 20 bill.
The pinball machines were in great shape, some of the fighting games controls could use some tweaking but were very playable. Most arcade games were 50 cents while classic games were 25 cents. Pinball machines were 75 cents for a five ball game. Pinball free replay scores didn’t seem too high either, so you are getting a lot of bang for your buck.
This is definitely a spot to check out in the downtown financial district. It’s also around the corner of many good French and Italian restaurants. The hours of operation are 11am to 7pm weekdays and closed weekends.