Alvord Lake

Alvord Lake is a shithole where druggies, «travelers» and other assorted human trash congregate with their «pibbles» (pit bulls). Avoid it like the plague.

Definitely avoid this part of the park. Lots of homeless, transient, and smelly grossness. Perhaps it’s that there’s a McDonalds across the street or that the 71 Haight bus line goes right through here.
I’m pretty sure I just walked by a mini homeless encampment — except everyone’s in their 20’s, so… maybe they’re just backpackers? Still, quite gross. To avoid the smell of urine and human excrement (which is all too familiar in SF) enter the park instead on JFK).

It’s actually a pretty nice place to come. Just lots of grungy stoners, homeless, and choose to be homeless people. But it’s a nice place to go sit after shopping in the Haight.

Dear Alvord Lake,
Please tell me your secrets. You are old, almost as old as the park, so probably think I’m wondering about your name, or the people you’ve seen, walking through the park, or who drew the Koi, on your bank, today, in chalk. That stuff, it would be fun to hear about, sometime; the thing is, I’ve got a few questions, of a more pressing nature, to ask of you. See, my terrier, she darted, today, when she saw you; dove right in; I tried to stop her, but surely, in your years, you’ve seen how difficult a terrier can be, to control. And I know, it’s not really your fault, it’s mine, I know; maybe if I didn’t wear the collar, in my relationship with her, things would have been different, today, when she saw you; the things is, I do, and they weren’t. Which leads to my pressing questions. Those little brown things, floating around, the ones that my terrier was nosing, what are they? Please, tell me someone’s fetish is to float candy bars on your surface, because I got as close as I could stomach, to the «logs», to see what my terrier was nosing, and they looked an awful lot like turds. Why do you smell like urine? Please, tell me someone’s fetish is to dump ammonia into your waters, because now, my terrier, she smells like piss. When were you last flushed out? Please, tell me someone’s fetish is to completely flush you out, every once in awhile, for while wading in your waters today, my terrier, she got covered in this muck, a muck that kind of looks like candy bars macerated in ammonia, but I’m fearful, it may actually be turds macerated in piss. I only ask, because right now, I’m on the sofa, with a cocktail, relaxing, from a hard day at work, and a long walk in the park, with the dogs, and my terrier, she expects to get up here, on the sofa, like every other night. It’s going to happen, her getting up here, for as I said, I wear the collar in this relationship, but it would be easier to accept, her getting up here, if I knew your secrets.