Portland Cacophony Society

I might already be a member. Come to think of it, you might already be a member, too.

I desperately needed a right handed spangled wrench for my fine tuning my instrument in the Colwyn Bay Massed Pipes and Toilet Requisites Marching Band. I noticed that the Cacophony Society was open, so I decided to see if they might have the required tool. A rather chipper employee came out of the back of the shop amid strange barnyard and medieval torture noises. He lead me down the correct aisle, stole my pants, and commented quite nicely on my choice of toupee. I was quite taken back by their friendly service. I would have given them five stars, but the gag order on the paternity suite prevents me from talking directly about the Cacophony Society.

All I know is that I woke up on a chilly December Sunday with a white beard stuck in my… well, it was stuck and I smelled like rum and candy canes. And something else that’s inappropriate for discussion on this site.

This is the greatest Cacophony Society in Portland. I’ve been to all or most of their zany activities, most of which are not at the address above.