Old Wives’ Tales

Portland Cracker Barrel. That’s a compliment. I mean where else can you get pancakes five different ways, but all of them gluten-​free? I’m exaggerating a little, but not so much that you’d notice.
Detailed menu appears well-​thought-​out, rather than cluttered.
This is Portland.

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By far worst food I’ve eaten in Portland. Terrible service, overpriced. Tasted like MSG on a plate.

I am a bit disappointed about this restaurant, I have been here twice, first time I came here once for breakfast with some clients, I had heard that the pancakes here are huge and taste fantastic so I wanted to try them, I had the oven baked pancake and the
fresh fruit salad. The pancake were very flat and dry, and tasteless, and the fruit salad wasn’t fresh, and had some really bad after flavor.
Last time I came here with a friend, for dinner, I had the clam chowder, and the rosemary chicken, again I was disappointed, the clam chowder had a flat, plain taste, the potatoes had a weird consistency, kind of dry, the soup tasted only otatoes, it could have been called potato chowder. My friend had the coconut and cauliflower curry and he said it was tasteless
Then I ordered the Rosemary Chicken sandwich, the chicken was dry and did not taste much and the sandwich was dry and almost tasteless. The service isn’t great either and I think that prices are way to exorbitant for the kind of food they serve!
one or two STARS one star is fine

I have alway been a fan of this place. Their menu is huge but you know whatever you order it will be delish! I love their vegan options and the salad is amazing! Excellent customer service too. Next time I’m going for the salad bar. I highly recommend.

After reading some pretty horrible reviews of this place, I was expecting a pretty poor experience. Though honestly, I had kind of a lovely time for lunch! We happened to get pretty good service and if you’re careful with what you order, you will enjoy your food too! If I did not get a big bowl of their homemade hungarian mushroom soup, I would probably have some worse things to say about this place. Looking at their menu and seeing what some other people ordered, I think it’s clear this place makes a bit of a cheap shot at some menu items. I also ordered the veggie sandwich and literally all it consisted of was guacamole and cheese in between 2 standard slices of bread. I’m pretty sure the menu mentioned actual veggies, but that is not what I got. Nonetheless, guacamole and cheese are two of my favorite things, so I ate it without complaint.
More than anything I think this place needs a massive PR overhaul. The language/​signage throughout the restaurant and in the menu is overbearing and offensive. There are more tactful ways to tell your customers not to steal from your sub par salad bar, and to watch your children in the odd space they call a «playroom.» Back to the salad bar, yeah it’s nothing special. But it’s raved about and largely overpriced for what you get.

The service is goodish. The staff is attentive and sweet but at a loss for simple requests.
I ate the worst sandwich of my life here. I am extremely upset that I paid 10 dollars for it. However, the vegan curry cauliflower soup was really good. that was redeeming. I ordered the guacamole with vegan cheese sandwich. I ordered sourdough bread. The sandwich was nasty. it tasted moldy. the sandwich could have been toasted (which I asked) so that the vegan cheese could be somewhat melted. otherwise it’s nasty. the tomato slices were old. it was an utter disappointment. I ate a lot of bread and vegan butter (redeeming thing) to compensate.
it’s a diner, I get it. but for the love of christ, heat up the damn sandwiches so they are somewhat edible and make it fresh!

I would have to say that I am a fan! The menu has a ton of items on it, so you need to check out the entire menu. The cool thing about this place is that you can get half sandwiches, etc. In addition, the place is very nice, clean and the service is good. I had this brown rice Greek bowl with two poached eggs on top of it — very tasty! My wife had huevos rancheros, and she said it was very good. The prices can be little higher than you would pay somewhere else, but the food is good, the coffee is good and the customer service was good too. You should check it out!

This should be 0 stars. But that isn’t an option.
Most restaurants that I dislike have at least one redeeming quality. This has none. I mean, literally, I have not one good thing to say about this place.
The atmosphere is weird. And not Portland-​good-​funky weird. Just plain weird. Twilight zone weird. Kid friendly, yes, kind of.
But only because they have this weird little room that is apparently intended for kids. Now, I get that my toddler is not quite old enough for this particular play area. But that is not why I think it sucks. It sucks because it has carpet. Yuck. Why would you put carpet in a kids play area? It is stained and smells funky. It also sucks because ALL that there is in the «play» area is a set of stairs leading up to this weird little hallway with paintings on the wall, and one wooden tunnel underneath it. Now, my 2 year old did have a blast chasing kids around. But she has a blast doing that at the grocery store. This is just a designated area in a restaurant. The obnoxious thing, aside from it being unsafe for a toddler with the stairs, is that it is so separate from the dining area that you can’t sit and eat while watching your kid play. I am comparing this to HopWorks– that has play areas that are totally open– so you can watch your kiddo play while enjoying a meal. Duh, way better idea. This is just flawed in design and concept at Old Wives Tales. Plus, the kids play area was dingy and even more twilight zone-​y than the restaurant.
Now on to the service. The lady who served us was not friendly, or rude. Just, blah. And she didn’t return even once to check on us. We literally had to add up our meal total off the menu (which was absurdly over priced) and leave cash on the table without getting a check.
The food was awful. Awful. Awful. My kids veggies were soggy, like they were frozen and heated in a microwave. The chicken was gross and rubbery. My food was so ridiculously boring and gross, and overpriced. I felt robbed. My husbands shrimp was confused for bacon. He didn’t even order shrimp, he ordered chicken pasta.
The salad/​soup bar was scary. And I am brave. I like gross taco trucks, I have eaten in third world countries. None of my prior eating adventures could prepare me for the soup bar here. Good lord, what were all these weird yuppies thinking while slurpring that cream of what-​the-​hell is this soup?
Top 3 worst dining experiences, ever.

Great gluten free and veggie options, awesome kid’s play area. They were very kind to kiddo, with crayons and drawing paper at the table and just-​right-​temperature hot chocolate.
Food is merely mediocre for price, and despite requesting gluten free english muffin (which I was delighted to find on the menu) I’m having a lot of symptoms which are highly suggestive of being gluten-​bombed. I can’t foresee us going back, because I am celiac and not fond of sudden gastrointestinal distress through accident or actual replacement of glutenful materials, but other than being overpriced and not the best for celiac, it wasn’t a bad place.

Kid friendly, but still quiet. How is that possible? Great food too! All that veggie and gluten-​free stuff you could ask for, but also really good meats and stuff.

I want to love it more than I do. Gluten free, vegan, veggie choices abound. But there’s too many detracting points to make it more than an average rating. While the décor is a little dated, I actually don’t dislike it– the quilts seem to work somehow.
Everything’s pretty ok, nothing too stellar. The menu is huge with lots of options– it reads like a Dr Bonner’s soap label. It even includes several rants. As I am rather indecisive, I always end up ordering a lot of items, and it adds up rather quickly.
The salad bar is pretty good, but there are a lot of bizarre rules and fine print. I don’t like that you have to pay for each individual cup or bowl of soup if you order the salad bar. I’d like to have some of each soup, but short of mixing the two soups together, it is too expensive.
I usually come here when I’m looking for my vegetarian okonomiyaki (Japanese vegetable pancake) fix. Not too many places serve okonomiyaki, much less trustworthy vegetarian okonomiyaki, but Old Wives’ Tales makes a pretty good one without beanito flakes. I also like the vegan pumpkin pudding parfait. The gluten free cupcakes were so-​so.
While at the end of every meal there, the food is always pretty good and pretty healthy, but I wince whenever I get the bill. I feel that it is not a good value for how expensive it is.

Healthy and yummy food. Kid friendly atmosphere. I particularly love the house-​made salad dressings.

My friend wanted to go to Old Wives Tales for lunch. I had only been there once, probably 20 years ago. We had the expensive soup, an expensive sandwich and an expensive dessert. It all tasted just ok. Our server seemed very fakey. I know, that is subjective. suffice it to say, she was not warm or kind.
Now, what I am about to tell you next is probably just ‘association’…but 10 hours after the above described lunch I wound up in the hospital! It was like food poisoning, but I don’t have a definitive answer yet. (Still waiting on the blood cultures!) I know this… I will NEVER go back!

I feel like this place is the perfect candidate for Restaurant Impossible! My husband and I came here because we really wanted soup. We had been here once years ago and remembered they had a pretty good mushroom soup. We also wondered why we had never gone back. Well… now we remember.
A vegan friendly, gluten free friendly place in Portland should be awesome! Guess what… not awesome! The décor is whatever… this is definitely not the type of place you visit for ambiance. The menu is huge and confusing. I felt a little cross eyed trying to figure out what to order. The prices were pretty ridiculous. $ 12 for a sad little salad bar. Hubby and I both ordered the Hungarian mushroom soup. We were directed to serve ourselves at the salad bar. Yikes… the soup had been sitting there for a long time with the lid open and there was a pretty skeezy film on top. I told myself to get over it… after all I remember this soup being really good. It was ok. Not great. Not worth $ 7 for a serve yourself bowl. The rest of our food was ok. Meh.
The good news is… we’re not hungry, the iced tea was pretty good, and we programmed Siri to remind us to never eat there again if we happen to pull into the parking lot.
I’m bummed it wasn’t good. I like little local places, but this place just makes me feel sad. :(
That being said… the bones are there! I think a little décor update, a big menu overhaul, and just dumping the salad bar would go a long way… you know… just like in Restaurant Impossible!

Good points: great location, a parking lot in the back, many gluten free options (the red velvet cupcake was quite tasty), casual atmosphere, lots of spacious booths.
Bad points: too many choices on a confusing menu, pancakes were a bit dry, cupcake was cold (in the fridge too long?).
This was my first time here. I would definitely give it another try, but if the results are the same I probably won’t come back.

My partner and I ate here with our 20 month old daughter for the first time tonight. We chose it mostly because it had a play area and an extensive kids menu with zero fried foods on it.
We love a place that serves breakfast all day and OWT does. I ordered the poppyseed wheat pancake with lemon curd and it was fabulous! Our daughter loved it too. My partner had the Huevos Rancheros and loved it. We ordered the scrambled egg and toast with a side of grilled chicken for our daughter and she gobbled it up.
Our daughter loved the play area and the crayons & coloring paper our server gave her at the table. Speaking of our server, she was warm, attentive and efficient. No complaints whatsoever. We ordered the pumpkin pudding and coconut cake to go, but stole a couple of bites before heading home and they were both delicious.
Overall, our experience at OWT was excellent. After reading some of the other reviews, I think I understand why some people just don’t get this place. Yes, the décor is horrible (they have been open since 1980), and the menu has a TON of items on it, which can be overwhelming for some. If you don’t have kids, the play area and extensive kids menu won’t mean much to you, but it was a very big plus for us. It’s very rare to find anything other than fried chicken nuggets or crappy grilled cheese on a kids menu, so the fresh options offered at OWT were great.
If you’re looking for a hip, trendy, crisp/​fresh feeling restaurant, you’ll be very disappointed. This is very much a casual family diner experience. If you appreciate the kitsch of a Waffle House, this place is right up your alley. If you have little kids, you’ll love that this place has put a lot of thought into making it kid-​friendly. And if you’re looking for vegetarian and/​or gluten-​free options, this place excels at catering to your needs.
We loved it and will be back!

Great for groups of people, esp groups with kids. Big play area, private room if you have a huge group, super friendly staff — when I had the huge stroller, they offered to park it for me in the back, when i was trying to get through areas, they offered to help me. We had 12 people in our group today and it was great– yummy food, seperate checks, enough highchairs and boosters for all the kids…
I really enjoyed the Okonomiyaki (japanese oven cake?). Super yummy. and great kids menu with lots of choices.

All I have to say is; MUSHROOM OMELET AND MUSHROOM SOUP! ITS SO GOOD. and quite possibly the best thing on their menu. However, I haven’t had the chance to taste much else because I usually get the mushroom omelet.
Although I did try their «japanese style pancake» with sesame tofu, which I chose based on another Unilocal user review. I’m glad I did because it was delicious, and actually a treat I am quite familiar with from the 808. However I know it as Okonomiyaki” and is Japanese for «whatever you like.» I have to say, they did a good job with it considering I’ve had tons of okonomiyakis.

At one of my old jobs my employer had us hold our birthday staff meeting at breakfast places every month.
That’s how I discovered OWT. I know it’s outdated, kind of like Good Earth back in the 70’s if you remember that (did they have one here, I don’t know, but they did in Phoenix and Tucson and California for sure). A bit hippie, a bit healthy, servers on pot, you know. Spiced tea. that kind of thing.
The service isn’t always good here, but there are things about this place I like.
When my kid was a toddler the play space was a lifesaver, even though it’s really pretty simple and boring. She could hardly be extracted she liked it so much.
I have liked the mushroom soup. So good. Last time we went we had breakfast, almond crepes, cheese and bacon omelet, spicy chicken sausage, pancakes. it was ok. Nothing fabulous, nothing bad. The coffee was meh. It does offer great vegetarian/​vegan/​gluten free options which is cool if you have those people in your party, which we did.
I do agree with others that it needs some updating and maybe a freshen up, but I still have a fondness for this place.