Haunted Hoochie

All the years i’ve been (20ish) it only gets better and better. Worth every penny and even the wait in line!

So I’m a bit late on my review of this place but I’ve gone 3 times (2 times too many to be honest) and I will not ever go back. I get it, they’re allowed to touch you here, but picking you up and placing you over their shoulder? That’s a bit much. I’m not a fan of the drunken girls and guys standing in line smoking weed and blowing it directly in your face, that incredibly loud rock/​metal music or the lame horror movies they show while you’re waiting, and the god awful parking. Nah I’m good on this place.

Complete waste of time and money. Long line that doesn’t move, Anti-​American videos playing not worth the time. Poor management of the paying people’s time. Stay home not worth the price of admission

Horrible waste of money! anti-​American videos, music blaring that made your head hurt. They had people’s winging by hooks in their back, nazi symbols adorning the actors, demonic stars painted everywhere. We waited in like for 2.5 hours.
I will not recommend it to anyone! Horrible!
There is a clear difference between a haunted house and a meeting place for people in bondage.

A pretty life haunted house. The only downside was waiting on the line. Probably took most at least 2 hours, even VIP had a line. At least they sold hot chocolate to keep you warm. After it’s all said and done you forget about the long wait and are just thankful to be alive.

My bf and I just did a small haunted house road trip from NY to Missouri and Haunted Hoochies was our favorite. Having done quite a few haunted houses, we’re kinda jaded and don’t scare much anymore but this place got us quite a few times. The sets and skits are fantastic! LOVE that it’s adults only, there’s physical contact from the actors without going overboard and doesn’t rely on big animatronics. The ambiance and entertainment while waiting is really great too. If it weren’t for Haunted Hoochies, our haunted house expedition would’ve been a failure so thank you Hoochies!

First time visit, pretty awesome experience. Maybe a bit too much strobe lighting. Otherwise, all the actors were complete professionals. Had a great time.

We went last night (Saturday night), got there at opening time (8:30) and there was already a line. I was prepared for this, as every other review mentions the long wait. It got longer as the night went on. I could have done without the 9 – 11 videos on the screen while we waited — just inappropriate. Once we got inside, the fun went on and on — there are so many different areas. The actors do grab you and touch your hair or your leg, but not anywhere private. I had heard bad things about this, but apparently they have resolved the issues, as the actors were great. My 13-​year old son came with us and at one point his glasses got knocked — the actor made sure he had them on again before sending us along. Really fun and I loved all of it! Totally was worth the wait.
The 3-​D funhouse was kind of lame, if you aren’t afraid of clowns… we saw just one actor in there. The one at the Scare-​atorium is way better, but since this one was included with admission, it was OK. I felt I got my money’s worth and will go back again next year.

I have long loved Haunted Houses.
When I heard your name spoken in Columbus, I have always heard you were the best.
I am so sad to report the opposite.
I can understand the 2 medical emergencies that caused a over 1 hour delay and a stand still.
But nothing, not even an announcement, was offered in that 1 hour standstill in a 3 hour wait.
Your outdoor performers packed up half way through. The people that came through the crowd and the performers inside were lackluster with only one controlled scene where we were told to watch– the half man scene. The rest? Pushed through like cattle. Such a terrible disappointment for the 2 plus hours we drove from the land of good scary ass haunted places on our only weekend off as haunted performers ourselves.
I would have loved to have spent at least 2 – 3 minutes in each scene. Sat in the pews and heard a sermon.
You have so much opportunity for greatness and it’s squandered by inept performers who think rubbing someone’s head is scary who can’t control the flow to give someone a show. Each scene should have a guide interacting professionally with a group. Rubbing a chainsaw on them is weak ass tea as it goes for scaring or performer interaction.
Finally, as someone who had multiple family members as first responders to 9/​11, you make me fucking sick. Of all the shit you can play to get an audience charged up? This is not okay and it’s not respectful to play bullshit Truth crap that has been fully refuted. The black and white American flag hung in distress was disrespectful of my Partner and the several serving members we had with us.
You are an utter disgrace as a professional haunt. You’ve bought $ 25 of bad publicity folks.

Worst place ever. We’ve been standing in the same spot in line for an hour now and it’s freezing and they said they’re supposedly «refilling the stations». But no refund is offered. They won’t tell us what’s going on. The thrill is gone I’m not even excited anymore. So don’t come to this place around midnight cuz they shut down and don’t tell you why and make you just stand there. And it’s way over priced. I would give it zero stars if I could. You guys are terrible. At least they could sell alcohol to keep us interested. The half naked girl even stopped dancing. I’m hating life right now.
Ok now we made it thru and it was really cool. They put a lot of work into it and it was a long tour and the 3D tour was good too so I’ll change it to 4 stars but I think you should really warn people about the refill wait for an hour. Or an hour break for their people or whatever. Cuz it sucked. I had a good time once we went thru though.

Great house. Amazing staff. Everything is wow! Only thing I would change is to not make the groups so big (seemed like 12 people). We were rushed through and pushed too quickly to enjoy the scares and scenes. The groups were so large that killed off all the shock value because we knew what was coming, plus than the next group was right behind you so you couldn’t hold back to time the scares. Lame when you pay 40 (VIP) bucks to just be pushed through as the next group catching up to you and running into you. Besides that. A+++

Went on Saturday around 1:30 am thinking the crowd would be small. WRONG!!! There was EASILY 250 people in line! We paid for VIP and skipped the wait. However if you choose general admission there is plenty of distractions to entertain you while you wait. Roaming zombies, horror flicks on oversized outdoor screen, weirdos to laugh at, people getting tattoos in a booth located at the front of the line. So yeah, either way, it’s a good time. We went in with a group of maybe 20. Kinda big but it was cool with me. More bodies for me to hide behind from the sicko crazy butcher knife/​chainsaw/​machete using actors. WARNING!!! YOU WILL GET TOUCHED!!! You will get chased! You will get cussed at! If this offends you, DO NOT GO! Those of us that crave the adrenaline rush of being shocked, disgusted, disturbed, sneaked up on, disoriented and so afraid that you let go of your boyfriend’s hand and run and leave him to get surrounded, then RUN, don’t walk, to the hoochie!!! I SURVIVED HAUNTED HOOCHIE AND I LOVED IT!!!

I rarely make it to haunted houses anymore, but this place is the real deal. There were some technical issues tonight, which caused the groups to be rushed. They change it up every year so it’s never stale & has something for everyone. Be warned this is an extreme haunted house meaning you may get touched or grabbed. Get here as fast as you can.

The haunted house was good, however the negatives outweigh the positives. First of all, don’t bother to go unless you are going to spend the extra money and get the VIP pass. The line even before they open is 3 – 4 hours because all the VIP people get to go to the front of the line (much like the fast pass at amusement parks) It’s really unfair in my opinion, and the VIP pass is not worth the money for a haunted house! Since the line is so long, there is a lot of cutting in line — I probably saw between 10 – 20 people cut at various times in the line and nobody does anything about it. There is no security in the line itself, just in the house. It’s also outdoor waiting so if it’s cold outside watch out. Everybody in line is smoking so for us non-​smokers, it’s really gross (especially the pot I smelled). I will not go back due to these issues.

My review is for the 2013 iteration of Dead Acres/​Haunted Hoochie. I visited on October 5^th — a Saturday — around 10:00 PM.
Dead Acres/​Haunted Hoochie struck me as fairly average compared to other haunted attractions I have been to. This was disappointing because I had bought into the hype of reviews before going and was expecting a lot more. However, a lot of the issues I experienced could be blamed on it being early in the season. The attraction also does several things fairly well.
The outside of the attraction was very impressive and looked amazing. It was very busy, there was probably a two hour wait for general admission. We opted for VIP tickets because the wait was under 20 minutes. They did have roaming actors hitting both the general admission line and the VIP line, though past reviews mentioned actors working the parking lot which I expected and did not see.
The majority of my problems with the attraction itself stemmed from the fact the groups they sent through were entirely too large and the fact they moved us through the attraction too quickly. Our group was at least 20 people and we were stuck near the end of it. Naturally, we missed a large amount of the scares because they targeted the huge group of kids near the front. We were also rushed through the attraction so fast that we barely got to see any of the scenes that this haunted house is so well known for. There were a lot of shock scenes throughout the house but we were pushed past them so quickly that we could barely tell what was going on before being rushed into the next room by someone with a power tool. I honestly have never felt so hurried through an attraction before and it sucked a lot of the fun out of it.
The scenes we did see were very well done, the shotgun scene being my favorite. This scene had great effects and was well placed within the attraction. However, the «chainsaw show» fell pretty flat to me; I thought the effects were very bad compared to the detail contained in other scenes. I would even venture to guess that a blood mechanism must have malfunctioned or something because it was just really boring to look at. Also, by this point in the attraction you’re pretty desensitized to chainsaws because (like most haunted houses these days) they are used quite liberally.
The props and décor within the attraction are very well done. The animatronics are completely amazing and left me very impressed. The headless horseman was particularly awesome, but we were sort of rushed past him. I would have liked to have had more time to really look at the props because there seemed to be a lot of attention to detail placed in them. Unfortunately, it was all sort of lost in the chaotic atmosphere and fast pace of the attraction.
The «we will touch you» policy seemed like an excuse to be less creative with scares. There were entire hallways where the scare was that you had to walk down it and be touched by the people hanging from the walls. There’s no creativity in that to me. The attraction relied a bit too much on this policy and after awhile it just became annoying; you knew that the guy standing in plain sight was going to touch your hair and then send you on your way. I feel like severely limiting the amount of touch scares would force the staff to be a bit more creative and make it more effective when you actually are touched.
Overall, I felt that the main goal of Dead Acres/​Haunted Hoochie was not to scare you but to overwhelm you. This is definitely a sledgehammer instead of a scalpel. It’s an assault on the senses almost the entire time you’re inside. Everything in here is very in-​your-​face. Misdirection scares are few and far between and most of the time the scare is going to come at you from the front yelling and screaming. If you combine this style of scare with the runaway soundtrack (death metal, car horns, sirens — all at volumes that will hurt your ears — seriously it’s not pleasant) it really just becomes overwhelming. I just didn’t find this to be a very effective scare method for me so the attraction fell a bit flat. If you enjoy this style I’m sure Dead Acres/​Haunted Hoochie will be amazing for you.
Summary:
PROS: Amazing props; great shock scenes; VIP line is very fast and also affordable
CONS: Groups too large; pace through the attraction is too fast; too much going on at once — detracts from the scare; overuse of chainsaws — detracts from their effectiveness; poor usage of sound — death metal and car horns blaring in ways that are painful rather than scary; lack of creative scares
3D Bad Trip Note: The 3D Bad Trip attraction had some great props and awesome use of 3D paint. This was good because the scares in Bad Trip were so bad that the attraction would be more effective if the actors were removed entirely. Actors either stood in plain sight or behind extremely obvious trap doors. If you’re in a rush to get home, you’re not missing much by skipping it.

I hadn’t ever been to a haunted house before this past weekend, and after hearing all my friends’ stories about how scared they were, I decided I had to do it! I love scary movies, so I figured I would love a «haunted house.» I was nervous the whole week leading up to my visit, not knowing what to expect.
When my friends and I got there, around 8:15, the line didn’t seem very long, so we bought the regular tickets at $ 20/​each. After standing in the cold and rain for about an hour and a half, and with probably another hour and a half left before we would get in, we decided to upgrade our tickets to VIP for an additional $ 10. We didn’t realize that they don’t really start letting in any regular customers until all the VIP people have gone in. Once we upgraded, we were in in less than 10 minutes. Letting your customers stand in line with no form of entertainment for over an hour after paying $ 20 is poor business to me.
Once we got in, I could tell it was a decent production; the costumes and props were thorough, and the different themed rooms and setups were interesting. There was a lot of popping out, and they do touch you (like stroke your hair or grab your arm), but because I could pretty much tell what was coming up based on the people in front of me, it just wasn’t very thrilling. There were a few genuinely scary moments, but I didn’t leave the house with any real sense of terror, especially since the ending was kind of anticlimactic.
I wish they would have done more with the church scene, like if they would have everyone sit in the pews and then get attacked or screamed at personally by the nun or priest. I think that is the main problem: it’s too impersonal. To be really scared, I would have to feel personally attacked/​pursued. But they just move on to the next person. I understand the necessity of this, but that’s my explanation as to why I wasn’t super scared.
The end of the first house leads to the second «scare,» which is a 3D maze. They give you glasses at the entrance, and everything is spattered with neon paint. I found this to be really mundane. There was hardly anyone popping out there, and I just wasn’t scared by the animatronics.
Maybe it’s not in my constitution to be scared by this stuff, but I did go in expecting to be genuinely scared, so I don’t think it was my attitude that was the problem. I ended up jumping in some places, but immediately afterward I found it more funny than scary. Oh well.

Spring for VIP tickets I only waited 20 minutes on a Friday night. Crazy animatronics everywhere and I couldn’t believe the amount of ghouls they had on duty. Warning this is not kid friendly unless you want you’re child to have PTSD and/​or night terrors. They do touch you and I swear some of the animatronics just missed hitting me. Fun and terror for everyone!

I came here with a buddy of mine on Opening Weekend on a Saturday. The place was PACKED! The regular line must have had over 100 people in it so we decided to just upgrade to VIP.
For an extra $ 10, we probably saved over an hour in waiting time. VIP line didn’t have anyone in it so we only had to wait 3 or 4 minutes to start the haunt.
Crazy shit on the inside. Zombies everwhere! Animatronics galore! NOT FOR KIDS AT ALL!
Highlights: My favorite parts of the haunted hoochie were… the HOOCHIES! So many sexy zombies with their tits hanging out everywhere. Small tits, big tits, fat tits, young supple zombie tits! TITS! TITS! TITS!
Haunted Hoochie… I can’t wait til we meet again.
Caution: If you are a girl… you will be touched over and over and over again… mainly by all the guys in costumes… I saw a dude with a chainsaw try to rip a girl in half between her legs. Massive groping everywhere… where do I sign up?

Haunted attractions are my specialty. We go to at least 15 – 20 per year, and the Haunted Hoochie/​Dead Acres is usually our season kick-​off. I have been coming to the Haunted Hoochie since ’99 and have loved watching the place evolve and change! This CAN be one of the best Haunts you’ll ever experience if you follow a few tips!
1. Go on a WEEK day! (Fri & Sat are their BUSIEST days. You will likely wait in line for hours unless you show up EARLY.)
2. Go with a GROUP of friends! They send groups (maybe 6 – 10 people) through at a time. I think it’s always more fun with a group of YOUR friends and not strangers who are probably going to keep you from enjoying the experience to it’s full extent.
The fun begins as soon as you step out of your car! There are roaming characters all over the place, and will even have their fun with you while you’re in line! The location itself is perfect. They have some excellent H.R. Giger style murals painted all over their buildings. There is usually a 70’s horror flick (Evil Dead, Tx Chainsaw, Halloween) playing on a big screen for you to watch while you’re in line. The local radio stations come out for events and will also entertain the crowd.
The décor itself has probably exceeded the million dollar price range. Including the VERY intricate, very wicked pneumatic props. (The headless horseman is my absolute favorite.)
They have some «skits», where you will see everything from a «shotgun show» (not recommended for kids!) to live demon baby birth! But they also have some random scares too, which really rounds out the experience. I also LOVE that the Hoochie uses the appropriate (and great) music to amp up or creep out the audience once inside! It gives you the feeling that you yourself are actually in a horror movie and they are playing the soundtrack for you!
I agree, I do really miss the huge rising prop (was it a skeleton?) that shot flames out of its mouth and the zip-​line chainsaw wielding maniac, but things must evolve! And as far as I can tell they try to change at least a few things each year, as a good Haunt should!
As far as I’m concerned this is the absolute best. If you don’t like the Haunted Hoochie/​Dead Acres, you’re not going to like any Haunted Houses. This isn’t your average scare with the corny «help me!» lines and a 9 year old dressed in a Ghostface (Scream guy) mask.

This is by far one of thee best haunted houses in the Midwest. It is not for the easily scared and faint of heart… at all!
They pride themselves on a full sensory experience, and they deliver! They’ve recently added Bad Trip, which is a 3-​D maze based off of a circus. Clowns and props are all around you in the rafters. Sometimes you can’t tell the difference between real or prop. Demented clowns will pop out of anywhere and everywhere. But the props and animatronics are amazing and the paint job is spectacular! with the 3D glasses on things really pop!
Now as far as their main attraction, you can pay a little extra to go VIP and not wait in the line, but most nights, the line can be pretty fun! They normally have either a DJ set up on the stage towards the front of the line, or a really old horribly bad yet awesome horror movie playing on the big screen on the side of the barn. There will normally be a character roaming the line as well picking out any unsuspecting victims.
The people will touch you inside, but they won’t hurt you. Just try to get a startle out of you. Things will pop out if random walls and corners and you can never be sure where something may or may not be. They also have scenes set up that adds to the gore and the scare and the craziness. This place is WELL worth every penny you will spend. It’s a great deal!