Salem Sue, World’s Largest Holstein Cow

A good stopover after a long drive. It’s an amazing statue of the world’s largest cow. There are some very good views of North Dakota.

We used to drive by Salem Sue all the time growing up, so I had to bring my fiancé up to see her. All these years and the view still doesn’t disappoint. Free to the public and worth a stop. Plus, you can get a Salem Sue magnet at the gas station in town!

Yet another Midwest attraction erected to bring people into small towns where the locals hope those tourists will buy something at dramatically high gas prices.
Salem Sue is actually a nice companion piece along with a trip on the Enchanted Highway.
This attraction is free too. The statue is near the Interstate and easy to get to. You do have to get off on a dirt road which is not in the best condition but if you go slow it is fine. Steve and I took pics of us by the giant cow which live on via Instagram.
Seriously, this is as good as it gets for North Dakota. If you are driving through here there are only three places you should visit. One is good old Sue, The Enchanted Highway and Teddy Roosevelt National Park. There is nothing in Fargo and I have dubbed it «Farlight» because once you are there the lights of Minneapolis are still far and it is anticlimactic just like the Twilight books.

Seriously, why do you need a review. What is not to love about a giant cow.

We were driving from Hill City, SD to Bismarck and happened to see this gem 30 miles from Bismarck. After driving for hundreds of miles, on roads filled with nothing but hay bales and cattle, that tempted us to commit suicide, this was a very welcoming site.
I never thought I’d be so excited to see something, anything, even if it’s only a gigantic cow. So ND is not exactly the most exciting place (honestly, it’s quite possible the worst state to drive through, next to Nebraska and Arizona), but if you find yourself here, you must stop and pay good old Sue some homage. The view from up there? You guessed it… hay bales and more cattle. Tweak those nipples (you know you want to), take some pictures and be on your way to wherever you are going.

How ‘Merican is this, right? We loved seeing the cow on our road trip. Cool and creepy at the same time, due mostly to the larger-​than-​live veins on her.
Worth a stop, a $ 1 donation, and 20 minutes.

This is THE tourist attraction of ND.
Warning: My feeling re North Dakota is, as Dave Barry put it: «I like it better when I’m away from it.» So if you are a big fan of ND, I suggest you stop reading and take stronger medication.
OK, so why is this THE tourist attraction of ND?
Well, you see, states in the AAA tourbooks have Diamond attractions… «Must see» things like the Statue of Liberty, Space Needle, Grand Canyon, etc. States like Oregon and Washington have 20 or so, New York has about 40 (half in NYC). North Dakota has 4.
Now 4 wouldn’t be bad (yes it would), if it was an honest 4, but it ISN’T an honest 4. I have seen all 4.
One is the Skyscraper of the Plains, a building that could occasionally move a few blocks in NYC and no one would notice. It would be uninteresting in most big cities.
Another is the Teddy Roosevelt Badlands National Memorial (Park?). While it is nice to picture TR running around the area in the 1800’s, if it was in Bryce or Grand Canyon it is where they would put the storage parking lot.
I have, in all honesty, forgotten the other 2. They were less interesting.
In other words, if I had an hour to kill during a drive from point A to point B, say Portland to Seattle, I would be more likely to wander around Walmart than these Diamond attractions.
Sue on the other hand…
It towers above the town, on the tallest hill around. A veritable mountain by ND standards.
It is, as much a 5 story cow can be, life like. If one is woken from one’s daze (standard driving in ND) you might for a moment think it was a live cow.
Travel to her feet (based on a few years ago) is by a gravel road, up from a sad little shopping mall. If you are driving a expensive sports car, what are you doing in ND?
There is a donation box, and a sign indicating the idea behind her creation (Local Cows Good) and some facts.
That’s it. It makes her (by far) the most interesting thing I am aware of in ND.
Now, a question that has haunted me since seeing her: Is there a larger cow somewhere? The sign says «World’s Largest Holstein Cow» is there a bigger Brahma in India, a Long Horn in Texas? Giant generic cows in Timbuktu?
At the time I saw her, we were bored (redundant to say it) so we asked at the mall… They were barely aware of Sue’s existence, other than some post cards, no tourist tie-​ins, no snow globes, no idea on my question.
So we went into «town»…
Ice cream stand (not bad ice cream): Locals: «Big Cow? Bigger cow?»
Post office: Long speech on why ND cows are as good as Wisconsin cows. Me (more politely): «No, no, not moo moo cows! Big giant thing on hill!» Them: «Oh yea, there is something up there isn’t there? No idea.»
I could go on… Lots more humor, but you get the idea.
So, if you are driving through ND, try and stop at Sue. If you are using a GPS set an alarm for it. Because:
When driving a Uhaul by myself (a couple years after the first time) I did not notice Sue (or indeed 99.97% of ND). All I remember was going into ND, getting gas in Bismark, and leaving Fargo. It was many hours, all erased… It is the only experience in my life that was better without my wife than with her. I remember «our» trip through ND.