Jennifer’s review nailed it. I had the same experience, except I also got a lesson in accordions along with the concertina. This place should be on everyone’s bucket list. John is a real nice guy. There is not better textbook dive bar in Wisconsin, maybe the world. You will always be able to one-up someone by saying you have been in Martin’s. I am so happy this place exists and I was able to have a couple beers there. Oh yeah– My beer was like 2 bucks, and he did not want my tip. I left one anyhow because I hope he continues to run his operation the same way he does. Thanks John!
Jennifer C.
Place rating: 5 Portland, OR
Oh My God! I used to live in Muskego and drove by this«bar» all the time. I told my friend that we just HAD to go in there sometime. It’s open randomly with no rhyme or reason as to when. It’s a house and the front room, where the bar is, looks like a teenage boy’s room with a couple of beer signs in the window. There’s a Pabst sign even though Pabst is not served here. One warm spring day in 2007 began our infamous, «Trailer Trash Tour ’07»(we did one in ’08 as well and renamed it accordingly). T-cubed as we liked to call it began at Martin’s. The rules were: 1. We stop at a total dive bar, if it looked too nice, we don’t stop. 2. One drink only. 3. 30 min. Then we had our designated driver take us to the next hole in the wall. I wanted to experience Milwaukee for all it was worth. This bar is the front room of Martin’s house. Your living room is bigger. There are about 6 barstools and an old, ratty recliner. Needless to say, we were the only customers. There were 3 liquors to choose from, all rail, I believe it was like vodka, brandy and whiskey. My friend ordered a vodka and I ordered a beer. Martin opened his refrigerator(just like the one in your kitchen) and pulled a beer out of the 12 pack box. He then got 2 glasses, that clear goldenrod yellow glasses circa 1960. I’m sure there was dust in the glass older than me. The ice cubes came from an ice cube tray. Martin was odd, to say the least. My friend was freaking out because this whole episode was so surreal. I couldn’t stop laughing, telling her, «only in Milwaukee can you experience this!!» Martin then sat down in the recliner with his tattered pants and holey socks and played his concertina for us. My friend kept looking over at me with desperation in her eyes. Later she informed me that she was actually concerned for our safety. I didn’t have those same thoughts exactly because I was too amused by it all although I thought I may have faintly heard dueling banjos. There were many other stops on our tour throughout the summers of ’07 and ’08 and someday soon, I hope we can do another T cubed tour. I read somewhere else that John Martin, the owner, opens his tiny bar only when there is complete alignment of the following two conditions:1) He does not have anything better to do.2) He feels like it. Martin’s friends know to call ahead. But only Martin’s friends have Martin’s phone number, and Martin says he’d rather it keep it that way. If you’re looking for the ULTIMATE dive bar experience, do not pass up this place! I gave it 5 stars because I always get a huge belly laugh every time I think of it.
