Simpleton’s

The BEST all-​you-​can-​eat fish fry. Every order came out freshly cooked unlike other restaurants that cook ahead. Some of the other people at our table ordered other meals and they were delicious, filling, and worth the price. The waitress, Misty, was awesome. We never went without a drink refill or more fish and she even laughed at our horrible jokes. Come early because there was a line outside the door and for good reason.

November 2015
I went with a few people who are frequent flyers of this place. The waitress was friendly, quick to refill orders, and took the time to chat it up for a bit. The food was the quintessential bar food you get any «dive» bars — so don’t expect much. I got the Pollo Arizona which come on a potato hamburger bun, grilled chicken, one slice of melted Monterrey jack cheese, a tablespoon of green chilis, 2 tomato slices, a large leaf of lettuce, and mayo. Not sure why it is called that, since it’s not very southwestern. I wish there was a southwestern sauce, or something to add spice/​flavor to it. The side salad was good, but the Italian dressing seemed watered down. There is shuffleboard, darts, and TVs galore.

They charge for you to be there for karaōke as if you’re paying to see a band! Hellloooo nobody cares about karaōke! Service was ok… Except maybe the relieving bartender should lay off the drugs before coming to work

I have been supporting this bar and the owners other bars for many years… when I come here I am relieved to see Tina and Summer they are two kick ass workers that get the job done, unfortunately their hands are tied when it comes to getting your drinks or tabbing you out because they have to wait on the bartender and if it is Misty then you will be waiting a while when she decides to do it on her time. I have never known a bar to charge for karaōke especially when the group you are with are spending money on alcohol… unfortunately the patrons will see this become disgusted and take it off what would be the waitress tip (which is NOT FAIR) to the waitresses who do bust their asses and live off their tips… no patron should have to contribute to helping the bar pay for entertainment that is supposedly bringing in patrons to spend money in the bar!!! I think «Maestro» is awesome very personable and does an excellent job also is a crowd pleaser with his personality and participation in karaōke… Thank you Matt, Tina and Summer you 3 are AWESOME…
I truly miss Sheila running karaōke! She sincerely cared about the sound and each singer. Karaōke at Simpletons now is way to loud and earpiercing and the host does not take the time to adjust each singer to make them sound better and doesn’t do anything to prevent microphone feedback it is OBNOXIOUS!!!

I have been sitting in this establishment for 30 minutes. I used to work in the same plaza and have never had service like this, well im getting no service so maybe I shouldnt compare. I came here a year ago with a friend with crazy tattoos and was treated horribly too. I saw both bartenders talk about me and then go to every table but mine. Maybe I need an oxygen tank or handlebar mustache to get a menu here. This is ridiculous, no wonder this shit hole has 3 tables full and thats even a surprise to me. Too bad I have a party of 10 coming that im now telling to go down the street to jj Madisons for karaōke.

Great food. We eat there on a regular basis.
I usually get their burger and it’s good every time.
Service is quick and friendly.

You know, this place is a sweet and sour experience… when Tina is working tables and Denise is behind the bar, service is great and friendly. When Sonya or Misty are working, the demeanor and service drop dramatically… if you’re not part of the right clique, you’re screwed.
Appetizers are mostly overpriced for what is marginally a neighborhood dive. This isn’t Tilted Kilt, but it is priced like it was. The food is usually good, as long as you steer clear of the cheese crisps — Taco Bell across the parking lot does better.
If you’re into beer, this isn’t the place to go — about the best beer they have in rack is Fat Tire. Mass-​market domestic swill rules here. For liquor, Makers Mark is the best bourbon & forget about single malt Scotch whisky — they don’t have any. In other words, you’re not going to impress anyone with your taste in spirits coming here. This is the kind of place where they think Jack & Crown Royal are premium selections — and they charge premium prices for the privilege of drinking the stuff of alcoholics… I’ve begged them to bring in some Four Roses or Macallan — nope… mostly rotgut bottles. I guess if I wanted better booze, I could go to a classier place like Buffalo Wild Wings or Native New Yorker (this place is that far down the list.) I think the Hambone might have a better selection of things to imbibe in and that is sad. A far better experience for karaōke fans or hungry folk would be Old Chicago (Alma School & US60) on Sunday evenings with their $ 2.50 pints of anything in the rack.
Depending on who is behind the bar, you might have to wait an hour for your tab because the servers aren’t supposed to be back there tallying up checks and the bartender might have her sights set on some old fart at the bar. Begging to pay your tab isn’t fun, if you know what I mean.
By the way — if you pay with plastic, this place charges a surcharge — something that if people complain about will cost them their ability to take plastic — surcharges & service charges are an express no-​no with Visa, MasterCard & Amex credit cards. Complain to your card issuer.
Sometimes I wonder why I go back — but the karaōke is fun (Maestro is the only staff member who usually sings — he is a crowd favorite & you’ll love him) and some of the people in there are great — customers & staff. Again, not all the staff is competent and, typical of any karaōke bar, some of the singers think they will be discovered any day now.
By the way — some of the five star reviews are from Simpleton’s staff — they think the place rocks, or something like that.
If Denise & Tina leave, I’ll find somewhere else to hang out — there are much better options in Mesa & elsewhere.

We had been going to Simpleton’s for a few years, specifically for karaōke. The karaōke hosts are super. The food isn’t too bad for bar food. The pork tenderloin is the best they offer. That’s where it goes down hill. The wait staff there favors the larger groups. They walk by the tables several times without stopping to take orders from tables with 5 or more people. the last time we went there was the last time we will be back. They got our checks mixed up at the register and it caused our friend to overdraw. No apology and it took over a week to fix the error. If you do go, sit at a table with a lot of people and pay in cash.

Despite the fact that it’s almost literally a hole in the wall, and I’m consistently younger than everyone by 40 years, it has pretty good food. Also, if you happen to luck out and get Melisa (Meh-​Lisa) as your waitress, then you’ll be set. She kicks ass! However, there is a blond waitress (Missy?) who is absolutely terrible and pays no attention. If you get her you should probably just walk out. Tasty otherwise!

Super fun dive bar!!!

Best bar food in the area

It’s aight

We were invited here by some friends on Saturday night to celebrate another friend’s birthday. It’s been a couple years since my last visit to Simpleton’s but one thing that I remember was their burgers and fries. In fact, a couple of us have since referred to the burgers as «BABs» (big a** burgers). That’s the first thing we ordered and I wasn’t disappointed. The burgers are big, juicy and tasty. The large portion of fries on the side hit the spot too.
I’d say that Simpleton’s lives up to its name. It’s a small bar, not too fancy and no frills but the food I’ve tried is good and priced right. If you’re thirsting for draft beer, they have domestic pitchers for just $ 7. However, if you’re looking for a bar that mixes quality specialty drink or shots, this probably isn’t your place. We ordered «Washington Apples» — they ended up being really watery and overpriced. I’d go back for a BAB though!