TSA Checkpoint A – Memphis Airport

Not friendly that’s for sure. I made it through with no problems, line was short but all agents were curt & their demeanor made them unapproachable.

I arrived at the security check at 5:10 am 9÷7÷15. I was the only one in line. When I came to the x-​ray screening station for luggage, I began to unzip it so that I could pull out my cell phone and iPad. There were two female TSA agents; one at the controls and one at the gate. The one at the gate told me not to pull anything out — it wasn’t necessary — which I found very odd. When I started to remove my belt, she said to keep it on. When I asked her if I should remove my shoes, she said «No.» She motioned me to pass through the metal detector and when it alarmed, she told me to just keep going! On the one hand, this was great — I got through security in RECORD TIME, but on the other hand, I may as well have had a pistol in my pants since she allowed me to pass through the metal detector when it alarmed. After I got seated on the plane, I wondered how safe it was… Is this the standard operating procedure at Memphis INTERNATIONAL airport, or were these women just plain LAZY? Anyone else ever experience this at Memphis or any other US airport? I’m a long-​time traveller, and this was a first for me…

Here is my story:
I looked at the TSA checkpoint and fortunately no one was in line. The woman who checked my id and ticket yelled «TSA Pre-​check!» to the other agents. My background had been checked a month earlier by the Department of Homeland Security and they had sent me a Global Entry card. It is supposed to make going through TSA security and customs a breeze. Ha!
The next agent I saw had his eyes focused on a blank wall at the other side of the room. Beside him and between me and the conveyor belt was a sign with a red circle with a line through it. No entry. I asked the man where I was to go. Without stopping his perusal of the blank wall, or looking at me, or saying a word, he pointed straight ahead. I surveyed the labyrinth of retractable belt dividers in front of me, sighed and walked in. I trudged the serpentine path through the maze carrying my laptop, my purse and dragging my luggage behind me. I think I mentioned previously that there was no one else in line…
Finally, I made it to the end of the maze and came out on the other side of the «No entry» sign.
«Do you have anything in your pockets?» barked the TSA agent.
«Just a crystal», I replied reaching into my pocket and holding the offending item out in my palm.
«Hold it in your hand and put your hands over your head!»
She looked at the screen and I stood there for what seemed to be an inordinate amount of time. She then walked away. I came out of the machine and seeing no one there to give me directions, started to go get my bags.
«Stop! Stay right where you are!» SS commander TSA-​Agent shouted.
«What is that on your hand?»
«It is a support glove for my arthritis», I said.
«We need to examine it!»
Since they had already seen me as good as naked, I wondered how on earth they thought I could be hiding anything. I started to reach for the strap to remove the glove.
«Don’t touch it!» the commandant screamed.
It seemed as if she thought I was about to pull the pin on a hand grenade instead of just taking off my arthritis glove. I started to get extremely jumpy from being screeched at so much.
She told me they had to get something to check my hand so I stood there and waited until that was done.
She then walked away so I hesitantly crept toward my bags. I noticed one bag had been set aside but figured that was because it had taken me so long to make it through the peep show machine. I started to reach for the bag.
«Don’t touch that! It looks like an aerosol can in that bag and we have to search it! We have sent for someone to come look at it.»
I wasn’t sure if they had sent for the bomb squad or who but it took an awful long time. I tried to ask about it but all the agents acted like I was invisible. They wouldn’t look at me much less speak to me. I finally found a bench and sat down to wait.
At last another agent showed up and they began to go through the bag. I told them I had a travel sized can of hairspray in the bag but it was the same one that had flown with me to Memphis from Orlando. I told them they could throw it away, which they did.
They dug around through my things, passing up items I would have considered suspicious if I had been checking someone’s bag, but that didn’t seem to be what they were looking for. She finally located a tube of semi-​expensive hand cream and said I would have to leave that behind. I said, «Okay, but I want to see it go into the trash container.» The poop really hit the fan then and they got extremely angry. I was angry too by this time because I felt as if I was being harassed by the agents.
They threw away the hand cream then told me to put my stuff back in my bag. I did so and one of the things I put in was my late son’s small teddy bear that I a always take with me when I travel. When I put the bear into the bag one of the agents started screaming, «You hit me with that teddy bear!»
I told her that I didn’t think I had touched her at all but if I had, I had only brushed his fur against her arm. She continued to scream that I had hit her with the bear. Other passengers had arrived now and were looking at me like I was Osama bin Laden returned from the dead. By this time a nice quiet jail cell sounded pretty good; anything to get away from these insane, hateful TSA agents.
I told her that if she thought I had hit her with the teddy bear to call the police and have me arrested for assault. I could see the headline on the article in the paper, «TSA agent assaulted by 62-​year-​old grandmother wielding her late son’s teddy bear.»
The agent continued to screech so I repeated my request. «If you think I hit you with the teddy bear, call the police and have me arrested for assault.»
The agents suddenly got quiet and told me to go on.
It is easy to see why Memphis International is dying out. Most people would rather walk.

So slow, so rude, so inexcusable, and they are all the same in Memphis, I am not suggesting that Checkpoint A is different than B or C. Once I retired, I quit flying commercial totally because of the TSA which probably makes each and every one of them happy, as they obviously don’t like their job or at least the work part of their job. I now either fly Space A military, or drive as driving costs about the same, I get to stay dressed (I have a metal shoulder replacement which always gets me searched) and I get there happy, not angry. Working folks are forced to fly and they have my sympathies! !

TSA is a rather useless agency and their Memphis crew is particularly rude and unhelpful. Americans don’t need them confiscating their water bottles while 60 Minutes is able to penetrate their façade time and again with all manner of weapons.
I arrived at the first agent carrying both my bags and my 11 year old daughter’s. I was rather full. When I passed my tickets and ID to the initial agent one ticket was folded back. She handed all straight back to me, glared and said «unfold them». Since I don’t want her anywhere in my flying process I certainly don’t appreciate her not using her pleases and thank yous. I set my bags down again, took the tickets, unfolded them thoroughly and handed them back. Now she’s pissed at the length of time it to me to hand them back to her. She scans them, shoves them my way and says, «next!»
Onward,
I’d rather fly nude than go through one of their machines that do absolutely nothing. I step forward as the next agent says this way and points to their enclosed box where stand legs apart and hands over your head… much like a criminal. Unfortunately, with nude not an option I opt out. Now this guy is pissed. He seem to be mad that I’m somehow wasting his time. When the reality is, he’s wasting mine.
He finally lets me thru for the pat down, I raise my arms, but he doesn’t want them raise… yet. He starts his spiel and I say «I understand». Now he’s really pissed that I said «I understand» before he finished. He commands me to let him finish. He finally discovers that amazingly I’m not a safety risk just like the other 35 times I’ve flown this year.
This agency needs to go and the Memphis crew needs to go first. Americans don’t need this.