Teddy’s Liquor & Market

I would call it a beer store so not expect to be able to buy vermouth for that vodka martini you are trying to make.

This liquor store looks like it’s straight out of «The Wire». Any minute I expected an «Omar» type to bust in and start shooting sh-​t up. But, even if he did this place is so decked out in bullet-​proof glass, he’d leave empty handed, off to rob some other poor sucker to scrape by. That cash register ain’t going nowhere.
This is the kind of place you walk into and immediately feel a little dirty and like maybe you should stop drinking so you don’t have to feel these icky feelings. Am I really just like the sketchy, disheveled-​looking dude that just walked in scratching his face with so much fervor, I wonder if he was the inspiration behind Tyrone Biggums? You walk in and the cashier looks at you warily with tired eyes that say, «Please, no trouble. I have my eyes on you and my cameras too.» I’m 5’1″ — really, what do I have on a 6′ man behind bullet proof glass panels? It’s time like these I wish I had a sign that said, «Yes, I am black. I am also an upstanding citizen, who enjoys crossword puzzles a little too much, has been teased for articulating too well, and I don’t have a criminal record. Please let me shop in peace without feeling your eyes bore into my back so hard I fear I’ll meet a Wicked Witch of the West-​style demise.» Would it hurt you to crack a smile and ask me how I’m doing? I have cash, and it’s a real so you don’t have to hold my bill up to the light.
1 star for having alcohol including Heineken mini kegs. The «urban» drinks like Alize and Hennessy are under lock and key, you can only look at them forlornly behind the glass. I guess the Omar types are tempted to bust in, grab some cash, and snatch a Courvoisier for the road. Another star for having cherry Now ‘n’ Laters. Seriously, that made my night. Another star for taking safety precautions. I can’t hate on people that don’t wanna be shot up. Get your safety on.