State Dept – Passport Agency

The only investigator left to monitor my conservation activities is probably the only one to have noticed I deleted my earlier review of LA Passport Agency.
Why would I do that? Well, they’ve apparently improved their vile, despicable ways and my opinion of them has subsequently improved… therefore, a totally new review is only fair.
My earlier post damned them and their progeny to eternal hell. To say they were FUBAR (far beyond all reason, recognition or repair) would’ve been a compliment. I’d provided all the information and fees the law required in my application yet they still wanted more on me, like I was an al-​Qaeda insurgent or a Mata Hari-​esque surfing spy chick. Could my work with the Sea Shepherd have caused the problem? I’d like to believe not but this was my 5^th passport and who I was and my citizenship should’ve been obvious to all but the blind. But the agency HMFIC (head mo-​fo in charge) wanted to squeeze me and I fucking hate being squeezed by blind bureaucrats, It reminds me of a green-​shaded Mr. Magoo granted a little paper-​pusher power over the people. So, I wrote some letters, lots of letters. I didn’t hold back from where I sent them either. I ranted and railed at them, cited their own regulations to them and something, magically, clicked.
Criticism is sometimes accepted and births beneficial change. More often than not, it’s ignored or looked upon as a personal affront and diss’d. Here, I believe it worked to my benefit. That, or it was a miracle because the information I resubmitted was unchanged.
In this case I resubmitted my package and received my beautiful new micro-​chip embedded passport in 10 days. TEN days! I didn’t even pay for «expedited service» (even though it’s still pushed… cha-​ching). I’m still in shock. Having supervised in a large organization for years, I know how easy it is to become a number. And maybe I was still just a number but I’d moved up to No 1! I received my old cancelled passport two days later. Another miracle? The clouds parted, the sun shone through and peace reigned across the planet. No more late night swims across border rivers.
Is there a lesson here? I hope so. Don’t accept denial from Mr. Magoo as the end-​all. Look at it as a challenge and don’t be afraid to launch into a diplomatic letter-​writing campaign. Send them everywhere and send repeats if you don’t hear back. Document everything and (take the hint) it helps if you know the regulations better than they do. All federal regulations are available on-​line.
Good luck and bon voyage. I’m on my way to Dublin for St Patrick’s Day where my Irish rebel friends are gonna love this story told in a Sinn Féin pub, Guinness in hand, dog at my feet… a dog I think I’ll call Mr. Magoo.
Update ³⁄₁₈: I went, I drank, I danced, I ate. No more dogs or smoking allowed in the pubs, though. Missed Mr. Magoo but not the smoking.