Juan & Jose Mexican Restaurant

Great place to eat when your drunk and your looking for somewhere cheap.

THE SOUTHWEST gets another MEDIOCRE RESTAURANT
and LAS VEGAS gets another MEDIOCRE MEXICAN RESTAURANT.
I stopped by to pick up some take out one night…
I wanted to believe. I really did.
It’s rockin’ colors of the motherland. Unique sounding name of restaurant (seriously who wouldn’t want to buy Mexican food from a couple of awesome guys named Juan and Jose?) Mexican owned and operated. And a couple of Mexican-​looking guys at a table eating burritos.
Before getting into what I ate, I must first describe the initial 10 minute conversation. Here is an abbreviated version:
«Hi I eat everything and I like it really spicy, what do you suggest?»
«Carne Asada Fajitas»
I think for a second. The last time I had fajitas was at Applebees in 5^th grade. Bland-​ass meat with bland-​ass bell peppers.
«Are you sure? What do you like to eat here?»
«Carne Asada Fajitas»
Pointing to the table of two, «Oh yeah, what about those two guys over there, what are they eating?»
«Carne Asada Fajitas»
«Ok are you sure?»
At this point one of the guys from the table turns out to be one of the owners, and he comes over and assures me the fajitas are the way to go. And he explains I could get a second «plate» for 50% off right now it’s their promotion. Hmm… Well I only wanted one, but these people are so nice and they keep telling me how good the food is. Why would they lie to me?
«OK, I’ll get the fajitas and something else. The Steak Al Cilantro looks good.»
«Oh, yes it is our house specialty. It is very spicy though.»
«Great, because I really like it very spicy. Not American spicy, super hot Mexican spicy. OK? Even if you make it that spicy it won’t be enough so make it more spicy than that, ok?»
«OK»
Long story short, the fajitas were underseasoned, not tender, gristly, and bland as hell and the not-​so-​fresh bell peppers were even blander. Have you ever have a fresh perfectly cooked, perfectly seasoned, slightly sweet and tangy bell pepper? I have. These were the exact opposite.
The guac seemed ok but they used way too many tomatoes. Tortillas, beans and rice were just as average as average can be. The only thing decent I had were the fresh salsas.
And it’s not even funny how UNspicy the Al Cilantro was. Is this a joke? Am I on some lame local version of Punk’d? I believe not even one single pepper died for my dish. And the meat was the same tough, gristly meat used in the fajitas.
I was not a happy camper.
If someone would’ve said, «Hey Richie, want some mediocre Mexican food?» I would’ve taken it and eaten it all. But I think I was just sick with betrayal. I was disappointed and let down. I could not eat even half of either entrée.
I guess I should have known when there was no buche, tripas, cabeza, or even lengua on the menu. I don’t even think I saw any al pastor.
And definitely I should have known when the gringo family with all the little gringo kids walked in. You don’t take gringo kids to eat real Mexican, you take them to Applebees, right?
I won’t be going back. If I want mediocre Mexican food I’ll go to Roberto’s or if I’m in the southwest, Amigo’s Tacos.
(photo submitted)