Staff was friendly, service was fast. Previous reviewer should probably find better outlets for his creativity that doesn’t involve the internet.
Kevin B.
Place rating: 3 Bargersville, IN
Have you seen the trailer for Christopher Nolan’s ‘Interstellar’? This Starbucks is a lot like that. Let me explain. Like the trailer, your experience at this Starbucks in a Kroger will start off slow, eerie, and chock-full of subtle, almost subliminal, panegyrics for traditional American family values. As you walk in the entrance and head to the Starbucks counter you must navigate through Triscuit boxes with dads hugging daughters on the front and posters of Americans smiling and feeling perfectly at ease and at home in various idealized domestic and commercial settings. Images of childhood are draped over so many items surrounding you — a boy licks a popsicle as the summer sun sets on one box, a young girl plays with a sparkler in a sea of fireflies on a poster hanging above. Take a wrong turn and you might even have to pass bags of cheese with nostalgic imaginings of family farms ironically displayed on their sweat-factory packaging. These mass-produced hallucinatory visions of a childish desire for domestic tranquility and familial bliss overwhelm one in just the first few moments of entering the store. It is an identical experience to(and just as sickening as) the first 90 seconds of Christopher Nolan’s trailer, where a dad must say goodbye to his beloved family in a profusely emotional and sappy montage before heading off to outer space on an against-the-odds mission to save humanity. But remember — the trailer is 2:35 long. And the last 60 seconds are nothing like the first 90. Suddenly, 90 seconds in, things take a one-eighty. Suddenly, your heart is racing. Suddenly, you’ve got what you want. Near death experiences. Edge of your seat suspense. Explosions. Adrenaline. Action. This is exactly how ordering a coffee from the Starbucks in Kroger in Southport goes. Suddenly, after surviving existential dread for 90 seconds due to a head-on confrontation with the ultimate absurdity of all our cherished traditions and human relations in the postmodern commodified world, you’ve got what you want. You’ve successfully ordered your coffee and have it in your hand. Walking out, you take a sip. Another. A swig. Suddenly, you feel the caffeine kick in. The uncanniness subsides. Adrenaline. Energy. Suddenly, you’re ready for action and don’t want it to end. There is also free parking, as the Starbucks is inside of a grocery store with a huge parking lot.
