Smoothie King

Smoothie Kings are generally very good.
The smoothie tasted excellent, however, the smug little hipster that worked the counter was an absolute tool. Her little grunge attitude is not appreciated, especially when placing an order for 10 — kids soccer team.
Unfortunately, this has happened the last two times in the same month. I will drive 4 miles further and order from the Sheperd or west University location next time.
Newsflash: Attitude does matter!

It is hard to be an entirely neutral arbiter on this review because this monstrosity sits where my most favie Taco Cabana EVER sat (yes, even more of a favie than the original in Alamo Heights I used to live near) and I tend to hold grudges on these sorts of things where a favorite gets replaced with something else as times change.
For those not in the know, this is where the epic Taco Cabana used to sit, or as it should have officially been dubbed: the taco queen of the universe. Long before Little Big’s arrived, and well before Niko-Niko’s began its downward slide into mediocrity, this is where you would come after the bars for a last little dose of unhealthy, as if the cigarettes, drinking, and the other things of the evening were not enough — you needed some tex-​mex and you needed a lot of it. If you had a somewhat appearance-​driven and yuppie crowd, then likely by the time you had convinced them that they needed quesadillas and they needed them RIGHT NOW, these people who formerly would talk about calories and carbs, would instantly recognize that this was a drunkfood exception to their overall diet plans — these were the best times after the friends had had «tee many martoonis» (see: Bedazzled, the remake starring Brendan Fraser) but it was still back in the day when people were less evil: there were no iPhones to record videos and there was no YouTube to upload the video of said drunkperson make something of a fool of himself.
So yeah, times change. No more tacos. No more cabanas. Just smoothies, sadface. The menu is the same as everywhere and the smoothie tastes mostly the same as it does anywhere at the other locations. What sets the King apart from Jamba Juice is that the fly double J does not accept Discover card and for that reason I hate them just a teensy bit. What sets the King apart from Berripop is that you feel grossface going into a shiny Berripop in your sweaty clothes, and there is always someone attractive behind the counter (Washington Ave. Berripop) or behind you in line, so you just feel even more sheepish you disrespected the ‘Pop with your ratty basketball shorts. At the King, come in as you are, no biggie.
This is one of the Kings that has a drive-​thru. So yay! Don’t need to get out of the car. The drive-​thru is awkwardly angled depending on what kind of car you drive. It makes for good people-​driving-​watching, a unique subset of people-​watching.
As I pulled up to the speaker I was instantly hit with the «whaddya want [dirtbag]» without much time to read the menu. That is so annoying especially when nobody is behind me — what is the rush, really?
After pulling around the girl at the window was nice, which is worth noting since generally the King employs some of the worst «health food store» sorts of workers. Generally the middle aged men working the other Kings (especially the San Felipe one) are grumpypants/​sourpatchkids and the high school boys are just as likely to give you an entirely wrong order as they are to be texting with one hand as they make the smoothie.
This has a perfect location, just like the former taco queen of the universe, but now the crown has been handed over to a new sort of food — a smoothie.
Other fruit references to round out the review:
. in Half Baked when Nasty Nate wanted a fruit cocktail in the prison cafeteria
. in the television show Titus when the father used a double entendre of a basket of fruit to insult Dave
You want a smoothie now, dontcha? Oh man, I actually kind of want a taco now! Well, you can’t get one here.

Drive through smoothies in just minutes? Yup, that’s awesome. I like smoothie king a lot (it’s not quite love yet). I was in the area and didn’t have time for lunch but was quite hungry. This location is right on the corner and has a drive through. We drove up, ordered, and were sipping smoothies in under 5 minutes. I love that I didn’t have to get out since there really isn’t any parking anyway, but the drive through is lacking something describing the size of a small, medium, and large. They need some cups in a little plexiglass case, or at very least a very visible sign saying how many ounces each is. The menu is so busy that I couldn’t find anything about the size.
I ended up with a medium which was HUGE. My husband and I shared it and I was still full. I’d definitely drive through here again, but I’d opt for the small.

I am really not a fan of Smoothie King, which is sad because I LOVE smoothies and they seem to be everywhere here in Houston. I find that the smoothies taste really powdery (and I don’t even get the protein supplement), and they only have one option for yogurt smoothies. The other drawback is that it tastes like I’m drinking syrup… gross! I felt like I stopped at the nearest gas station and got an icee (which don’t get me wrong, can be good but not when I’m craving a smoothie). And it wasn’t a one time thing either, I have this rule that I have to try everything at least twice before I completely rule it out. So I stuck to my rule and tried it again from a different location and still nasty…
I am (unlike most Smoothie King fans) a huge fan of Jamba Juice. I find that they use more fruit in their juice and it tastes much better. Unfortunately they are too far away from where I live.
For now I’ll just stick to making my own in the magic bullet!

Okay, so I’m a big fan of the Smoothie King chain. Mostly because I can get a drink that isn’t loaded down with sugar like Jomba Juice.
I’m reviewing this location because for quite some time I’ve had really great customer service here. Several of the other locations have just blatantly rude staff, not necessarily toward myself but in general.
I admit I’m kind of a pain in the butt customer when it comes to food in general but I’m always nice and using my pleases and thank you: p as well as a good tip for a job well done. Not once have I seen an employee at this location be rude or even unpleasant.