Fine Ass Brand Chocolate

One regret here: that I didn’t buy nearly enough chocolates for us and everyone to gift for the holidays! These chocolates are the real deal. I’ve traveled and tasted chocolates around the world, and have not found anything like this… the taste is exquisite, the labeling and creativity perfect (for my friends’ & family’s sense of humor), and price is very reasonable. I am planning on ordering from them online now that we have broken into the gift supply. The man who was working while I stopped in was also helpful and a pleasure to deal with.

The business name is a little misleading. The coffee end seems to be purely coincidental.
Do not go here for specialty coffee. The best you can expect is drop coffee in a thermos. There is no espresso.
That being said, the man behind the counter was very friendly and the chocolates are tasty.

Stop at this place on the way to Waimea beach on the north shore. All the chocolates have silly names but they are really delicious. They let you have free samples. I tried and bought the salty balls which is macadamia nuts covered in sea salt and chocolate! I recommend all the flavors but that was favorite!

Yummy chocolate Mac nut balls! My fave is dark chocolate fire balls. The man likes frosted balls and flaky balls (it’s coconut). Perfect for my chocolate cravings

Where else do you get fire balls on the island? Cool choc-​covered mac nuts.

All the chocolate flavor a have fun names. Flaky balls, salty balls, dirty balls, etc…
The toffee and the salty balls are yummy.
Stop by for a taste. They employees are great and super nice. Don’t forget to check in on Unilocal for a 15% off your entire purchase.

We got the dirty balls, fire balls and dark ass with a kick! Dark ass w/​kick probably my favorite, coffee beans covered with dark chocolate. Friendly staff, cool name, and yummy chocolate. They also offer white chocolate balls and coffee!

Amazing and delicious chocolate, small unique shop has been here for 4 years. I had the white chocolate and Wailua Dark roast coffee

They provide samples and the chocolate is amazing! Purchased a couple of bags. Worth it! You cannot stop eating them!

As someone who has seen South Park and laughed heartily at Chef singing about his chocolate salty balls, when I saw photos of this place and the names of their chocolate, I felt like this may be a match in inappropriately named food item heaven.
This past Saturday my girlfriend and I spent the day driving around the island playing tourist stopping at just about every place imaginable before giving up and headed home for the day. Located in the same location as the Crouching Lion used to be, Fine Ass is easy to miss due to the construction going on above, but well worth keeping your eyes peeled for.
Upon entering the store we were greeted and offered samples of their best sellers. As per usual, my tree nut allergy prohibited me from trying their best sellers, but they were awesome enough to change their gloves and offer me samples of their chocolates that didn’t contain tree nut products and to point out the section of the store where I could find safe to eat treats.
My girlfriend and I each ended up with t-​shirts because come on, this store has the most awesome name ever and I came home with the Dark Ass with Kick (dark chocolate covered espresso beans) and Salty Sticky Balls (salted caramel). The shop also has locally grown coffee for sale.
As per usual, I’m adding a star for their attention to allergies and for having the knowledge as to how to handle tree nut allergies to prevent cross contamination even with samples. They offer a discount with a Unilocal check in, so don’t forget to take advantage of that as well. The owner (?) was also very friendly and personable. We’ll be back for sure.

We go here every time we come to Oahu. They have free samples, the chocolate is amazing. Little hard to see right off the street but worth the find. Great for gifts too!

I love coming to this place. Although with a location in Chinatown my visits are lessen. However, this is my favorite location because of the customer service I get here from Zondre. Always has samples out ready by the register and if there’s one you want to try that’s not there, he will bring it out for you.
The catchy a bit risqué name is what caught my attention to begin with and made my next visit to the North Shore specifically to check this honorary place out. With names like Frosty Balls, Fire Balls, Salty Ball, Dark Ass w/​A Kick and Strawberry Dingleberries to name a few.
Very easy to find located underneath the Crouching Lion Inn (Closed) in front of a breath taking beach. Nice to watch for whales breaching when in season. As we walked in we were greeted by Zondre right away. I introduced myself with my better half. He explained how the store was setup and said to try the several samples he had out at that time. They were delicious with interesting flavors. It became difficult to decide what to get. We talked about the history of the store, how he had a partner before, and different views of business split them apart. I told him one of the primary rules of business was never to go into business with friends. We learn the hard way. Me too. Dah!
After spending an hour looking, tasting and talking we walked out with 6 bags. My fave turned out to be Dark Ass with a Kick. I did enjoy eating blue balls in front of my lady love. Pleased with meeting Zondre, pleased with our purchase and pleased with our trip to the North Shore.
I highly recommend and support this local business.

Discovered Fine Ass while checking out local hikes and geo caches. Took advantage of their chocolate and coffee tasting. It was so delicious that we packed a large box to ship to our house. The package arrived the day after we returned.
Purchased Waialau dark coffee, Dark Ass w\kick (espresso beans), and a ton of balls. Lol! The family swooped in and fought over the flavors. Little did we know how popular the ‘white’ chocolate would be.
Owner is very personable and prices are competitive. Will be ordering more for the holidays. Nice to find a treat from Oahu that we can enjoy again.

Great chocolate shop! A little out of the way but worth a stop. We planned on buying souvenirs (and who wouldn’t with names like salty balls and dark ass) but ended up eating at least one bag ourselves!

Needing a «pick-​me-​up» driving along the Kamehameha highway after a long day of beaching and eating, we pulled over to check out Fine Ass Brand. The name alone grabs your attention. But, it’s the chocolate inside the shop that will have you wanting to return.
The owner was there giving away free samples. After trying a few there was one that stood out — the salty balls! Round balls of dark chocolate contained grains of salt that made for the perfect combination. Our other purchase was a bag of fire balls — chocolate balls with cayenne pepper. It wasn’t my thing, but the wife enjoyed them.
If you can’t make it to this location they have a second spot near Chinatown.

We were driving along the highway and had visited many beaches… we were in need of coffee. We saw a sign that said chocolates & coffee. Thank goodness for the sign otherwise we would’ve driven another 15 – 20 minutes searching for coffee. We parked and was looking for a coffee shop. Did not see one until we a big sign that said Fine Ass Brand and then saw coffee under it.
Walked into a cute lil shop. Mostly chocolates and Hawaiian knick knacks. Cute t-​shirts for sale. Was offered samples right away. Mmm, mmm, mmm. Sold us right on the spot. Bought 3 different flavors of donkey balls: flaky (coconut) macadamia balls, bacon bits & chocolate covered coffee beans. All so yummy. Just the right amount of sweetness. Not overly sweet.
We had intended to get coffee only but who couldn’t resist all these chocolates right in front of you. As for the coffee, it was very light. Similar to 7 – 11 coffee. Too much water for the amount of coffee they put in. It needs to be stronger, bold (or at least medium) & darker in color for us coffee lovers.
We checked into Unilocal and received 20% off our purchase. Nice. The staff member was very friendly & helpful. Very glad we stopped by. Great customer service. Will definitely be back when visiting Oahu.

Ah ah a. The choir of heavenly chocolate angels start to sing when you open the doors to this amazing little store.
The chocolates are to die for. The salted chocolate is hands down my favorite.
Keep your eyes open since this is a bit hard to spot from the road.
When we were there they gave 20% off if you liked them on Facebook & checked in. It was a great added bonus.

This was one of my favorite spots of Oahu. Definitely drive a little slow in the area because the store is snuggled in the right-​hand corner of the little restaurant/​store plaza. I was truly amazed by the choices I had to contain myself. I wanted to bring home the dirty balls, flaky balls, frosted balls, salty balls, nutty delights, all the balls. The owner is very gracious in letting you sample since there’s quite a selection.
In the end we had to limit ourselves to the flaky and dingleberries since I felt like I’d gained a couple pounds already after a few days on the island, but now I regret not buying more. Definitely get as much as your luggage can carry.
Afterwards you can enjoy your balls as you step out of the shop and gaze out to the sea or cherish them later. Also, check out their other stuff. They have great coffee, too.
We’ll definitely be back on our next trip to the island. Surely one of the finest piece of succulent ass you can find.

Located right next door to The Crouching Lion in Kaawa, we have always passed this store, but thought the huge blow-​up Donkey with his «Donkey balls» in his hand was so cheesy, and wasn’t quite sure what they sold.
Well, as we were doing our monthly drive around The North shore countryside, I noticed they changed the name to Fine Ass Brand. Still not a desirable name, but I thought I would go in to see what they had.
Holy chocolate balls! They have dirty balls, sticky balls, salty sticky balls, flakey balls, fire balls, and blueberry dingleberries!
Some have Macadamia nut centers, salty caramel, peanut butter, pretzel, coconut, white chocolate, dark chocolate, milk chocolate and even bacon (which is DIFFERENT)
I am a true chocoholic, and have had chocolates from Sweden, Germany, France, Italy, and his chocolates definitely rival the best! It is so rich and as it melts in your mouth, you get layers and layers of flavor.
My favorite were the salty caramel balls and White Chocolate Mac Nut balls. Hubby liked the Salty butter balls (with peanut butter inside) and dark chocolate. The blueberry balls were nice and different as well.
I believe it was the owner at the counter, and he was very nice, attentive, informative and gave many different samples for you to try.
When I asked for several different flavors to sample, he was very accommodating and even had some enthusiastic repeat buyers in the store.
They also have samples of Hawaiian coffee and sell spices and souvenir shirts.
And the big clincher for me was when you check-​in on your Unilocal app, you get 20% off! I bought 3 bags!
If you are by Chinaman’s Hat and Kualoa Ranch, it’s worth the stop to buy a few bag of balls for you and gifts for your friends. I will definitely go back again for Christmas gifts!
Long live Donkey balls!
Tip of the day–
Check into Unilocal for a 20% discount and Facebook and Foursquare for a 10% discount.
Free parking as well.

Stumbled upon this place – and was pleasantly surprised! They have a weird name… and so do their goods, but they’re actually really good.
Try the dingleberries! Even if you don’t think you want anything, stop by for a sample! They may win you over. Now, we love to buy stuff there to ship off-​island to friends and family.

No longer called Donkey Balls, it’s now Jack Ass Brand.
Same owners, same great customer service with plenty of samples for you to try.
Make a pit stop here when you’re headed to the North Shore and taste some yummy Jack Ass Brand chocolate. The spicy one is wow!