KFC

So I decide to try this new joint around here known simply as «KFC.» I thought this was a rather ambiguous title for a restaurant. I had no idea the style just by that name, So regardless of apprehension of the unknown, I went on in to give it a try. First thing I notice on the menu is an inordinate amount of chicken, like seriously, tons yo.
Finally I just had to ask the young man working the counter, «what does KFC mean?» You won’t believe this but he said «Kentucky Fried Chicken.» Ok, so this raised two internal questions. 1.) Why not just call it kentucky fried chicken? And 2.) Is it safe to eat chicken in Alabama that was fried in Kentucky? Seems like a safety hazard.
As worried as I was, I looked around the room and the patrons (average age: 87) were reallly enjoying the meal, so I trucked on ahead. I ordered a $ 5 fill up box. The meal came with a chicken breast, mashed potatoes with a substance known as «gravy» and a drink. Oh, lest I forget, it also came with a cookie. A COOKIE! That’s like buying a new car and getting free oil changes for a year. I was stoked.
Let me tell you, this chicken, even though it was cooked all the way in Kentucky was phenomenal. It was juicy and tender and everything you’d expect the fowl to be. The trip down excellence lane took a slight detour when I tasted the mashed potatoes… They were somewhat bland and paste like but things quickly got back on track when I tried that gravy substance. I don’t know whats in it, but you could put it on dog turds and they’d be edible. Honestly, I could mainline this stuff.
This could have been a 5 star, but with the paste like quality of the potatoes, I had to downgrade it. I requested to speak to this Colonel Sanders fella but was just stared at as if something were horribly wrong. I felt bad and deduced that Mr. Sanders was probably off in one of the many American military excursions going on now. After all, he is a Colonel. I tell ya, he may not need that military career too much longer. He has a winner on his hands with KFC.