The Angry Llama

The people here are nice but I didn’t like the food. The bacon was burnt, the toast was dry and the potatoes smelled like fish. Had to ask for spoons for the coffee, ketchup and jelly. We were the only customers. Looked like someone who worked there had their children at a table for babysitting. TV was on. Cute décor but zero atmosphere. Menu extremely limited. Next time we’ll go to 285 diner.

I also question the decision of this owner to be in the restaurant business at all. Inefficient is an understatement. Clearly there is an assumption by the owner that the staff is trained enough to have customers want to return. I didn’t get ill like the last review but that insinuates the owner isn’t versed on proper refrigeration and food temps. Based on obvious lack of experience and training that I witnessed, this is entirely believable.
My next question — how do you let 100% terrible reviews just pile up? It’s the death of this poorly managed restaurant. It will just be a UHaul dealer only then, thank God. Or if you prefer a Darwinian explanation… survival of the fittest will naturally deselect this restaurant from our dining options.

Nearly a year have I waited for this place to show itself on Unilocal.Why? To finally be able warn my fellow Coniferites of the culinary atrocity that is… The Angry Llama.
I was excited to see a wings and burger place pop-​up in Conifer. Burgers and Wings… how could you go wrong? In so many ways, in so many ways.
Firstly — I do have to say that folks were nice. We didn’t get helped right away, but everyone was friendly and smiling. I don’t intend for the following to reflect poorly on anyone personally, only their ability to operate a restaurant.
So — we started with their chicken wings. They seemed double-​fried or something b/​c they were almost black. Darkened by old and or burnt oil. Like another reviewer said — some of these wings are gigantic and b/​c of that, a few weren’t cooked properly. I will say though the sauce was tasty.
Another side note — there was a group of about 16 young adults at the tables next to us. They had already ordered when we got there, and some of them were still waiting on food when we left an hour later. Also, the group had evidently been there for some sort of talk beforehand, and the speaker came out to visit with them while they ate. He kept meandering around their table, turning chairs backwards and sitting in them like AC Slater while talking loudly about his «new book». It was not a particularly enjoyable backdrop to our crappy food. Also, ALSO — I kept watching in awe as the server would run to the kitchen, grab a single food basket with one hand, run it to the table set it down, run back to the kitchen to grab another single food basket, run it to the table set it down, run back to the kitchen… etc. etc. etc. He ran back and forth at least twenty times. It was absolutely maddening watching someone be so inefficient.
For the main course I ordered a burger and my wife ordered a pizza. The burger was in a league all of its own. I ate maybe a third of it before putting it down and pushing it away in disgust. I’ve NEVER not finished a burger. I’m 6’2″, 250 lbs and always hungry. This was a first. It was unbelievably fatty and spongy and just «off» tasting. The wife’s pizza was, in a word, sad. Ignoring the fact that it came out 10 minutes after my burger, the dough seemed to be made by grabbing a handful of grands biscuits and smashing them together in your hands, and then rolling them out into a lumpy mess. Parts of the dough were still raw, and parts of the cheese and topping were somehow burnt. We didn’t finish that either.
It took forever to get our check (and a soda refill) b/​c of the previously mentioned inefficiencies of the waiter. We left vowing never to return, and headed to the King Sooper to pick up some groceries.
Then… Suddenly… in aisle 12 of the King Sooper, my wife and I started simultaneously experiencing gut wrenching intestinal cramps. I darted to the bathroom like an 1980s speed walker, while my brave wife hightailed it to the checkout. After some nastiness that i won’t detail here, I met my wife at the car and sped home so she could do the same at our house. As we passed back by The Angry Llama, we both cursed it out loud and hoped for a grease fire.
Stay Away — you’ve been warned.

Do not believe the other reviews you have read about this place from other websites. We did our research too before going and genuinely did believe for a few seconds (before we ate the food) that they might have the best burgers in town. Wow. The ultimate let down of the century. If you think that’s the best out there, then I feel really sad for you.
The staff was friendly, I will give them that, but the food was mediocre at best. We tried their buffalo wings and the sauce was not bad. However, some of the wings were huge and after biting into one of these monsters I was alarmed to see blood! Yes, you heard me – blood! Apparently the smaller ones were cooked through, but not all of the big ones. They were also the pre-​breaded frozen ones you can buy in bulk for restaurants.
The burger. Oh where do I begin? The buns were good and much bigger than the little beef patty it came with. We ordered the special, jalapeño and cream cheese. Which, literally it was. Then, after setting it down in paper baskets in front of us, we were told condiments were on the other side of the room. I was under the impression this was a restaurant?
Also, when we got our wings we had no plates. Luckily there was a roll of paper towels sitting there, thus our picnic style lunch in a so called restaurant it was.
The fries were the best thing we had. They were really good. The onion rings, not so much. They arrived at the table looking like someone sat on them.
We got the impression after we left that this may be a restaurant ran by a church. But, if you’re going to open it to the public then it should be done right.
Please don’t waste your time or money here. We did it for you.