Pat’s in the Flats

A Cleveland staple… if you play music– book here. If you like music– patronize this place. No ATM & No Credit Cards… Call it old fashioned but Cash rules everything around us… so bring your cash, your babe, and get your music loving buns to Pats in the Flats!

You know who’s played at Pat’s?
Everybody.
Well, maybe not everybody, but it’s pretty damn surprising to look up on the wall at the records that bands have tacked there over the years and see names that went on to much bigger things.
Pat’s is about as real as it gets. A long bar, a small stage, a PA teetering on the brink of blowing up, cheap drinks, and a very good time.
It’s a little hard to find, but that ensures that the people who show up are there because they mean to be — not by accident, and generally that makes for a god show for all involved.
You’re missing out if you haven’t been to a show at Pat’s.

Pat’s, and Pat herself, are Cleveland institutions. I’ve been coming here on and off since the 1980s and have had some of the coolest times of my life here. If you look up at the record covers posted on the wall you’ll see 20 – 25 years of underground Cleveland music history, right there. And then if you cast your eyes downward you’re likely to see a couple of the people who are on those record covers, in their 10 – 20 years older incarnations, staggering around with beers in hand. Pat has met all those people in person, served them drinks, in some cases gone to their funerals. She’s truly the grande old dame of Cleveland punk and, now that Mitzi of Mitzi’s has passed on, probably the last great lady of the 1900’s Cleveland bar scene.
The cool people of Cleveland already know pretty much all there is to know about Pat’s so this review is mostly for out-​of-​towners. First of all if you’re not familiar with the area, be sure to get good directions to Pat’s. Apparently some have had trouble finding it. Second of all, please be aware that this joint is in the flats on the Tremont (west), not the Cleveland (east), side of the river. When Clevelanders refer to «The Flats» as in the olde entertainment/​restaurant district now being taken over by condos, they are generally referring to the OTHER side of the river, i.e. the Cleveland (east) side, not the Pat’s (west) side. The Pat’s side is a fairly deserted area. So if you are going to want to eat or drink late at night (Like after the show, seeing as how Pat’s really does not have food) be sure to get some local to give you directions to good places, or take you there, or invite you home to hang out, because there is like, nothing down around Pat’s except some industrial yards, lots of parked trucks, you get the picture. There are some good restaurants and bars within shouting distance up the hill in Tremont, and also some over in Lakewood which is like a 10-​minute drive away, but nothing right down near Pat’s itself. Finally, be aware that in Cleveland in winter we sometimes have weather bad enough to force Pat’s to shut down, so if there’s a blizzard or an ice storm going on, you may want to call ahead to see if the show is still happening. Assuming it is, please understand that Pat’s is located at the bottom of a hill and you will have to get your car back up that hill on the snow and ice after the gig, so be prepared for that adventure.
Given its nice deserted location, Pat’s does have ample parking and few worries about noise complaints and the like. It also has lots of cheap beer (limited selection but hey it’s cheap) and RC cola. Ask for a «Coke» at Pat’s you get a can of good ol’ RC.
Pat’s has a pretty sweet big enclosed patio where you can hang out between bands in good weather and occasionally see fireworks going off at the Stadium across the river. In hot weather, you can get a swell breeze off the river. Pat’s PA system was about ready to die for a couple years recently, but I’ve heard it was replaced and now sounds OK again. The variety of music you can hear there is eclectic and pretty amazing. It is not uncommon to hear two or three genres in a single night. Pat’s habitues tend to be music heads who are primarily there for the band show as opposed to the beer selection or to hit on people or for the million other reasons folks go to bars. If you’re a college radio type then you probably want to check this place out before it vanishes into the history books.

This is a strange place on the edge of the flats.
I played a show here once. I was surprised with how many performers they could cram into such a small space — they have a main area for performance/​dancing in the building, and a paved backyard that can be used as another area for performance.
The beers are super cheap here. It also seems to be the only place in the flats that’s open after 8pm. We needed to grab something to eat before we played — we must have scoured all of the flats until we found a little pizza place that was still open. There, we had the worst pizza-​by-​the-​slice ever. Don’t go there.
I like that they get such a vast array of bands and performers here. They can go from punk to electro in a night. Where else can that happen?
Oh yeah… Detroit. But Cleveland has a subway system, lower taxes, and more relaxed people.
What does Detroit have? Some tired old DJs, $ 10 parking, and lots and lots of guns. Woo! Cleveland, here I come!