Drink Four Brewing Co.

Drink Four Brewing is the name of the company that currently manufactures a line of energized malt beverages you may have heard of – FOUR LOKO. I don’t know if I’m really intoxicated or suffering from mild cardiac thrombosis when I drink this product, but I like it. These are the stats; 23.5 ounces, 660 calories (more than a Big Mac), 60g of sugar (more than a 2 scoops of Cold Stone’s Cake Batter ice cream) and 12% alcohol by volume. It contains generous amounts of caffeine, guarana and taurine. Sure it’s not a good idea to take depressants with stimulants, but that’s why I’ve compiled these helpful tips –
1. Drink one can for every 100lbs of body weight e.g. if you weigh 150lbs your maximum safe limit is 36oz or 1.5 cans.
2. Imbibe at near freezing temperature and ideally in less than 15 minutes. When it gets tepid you really start to notice it tastes like Kombucha (fermented tea) mixed with Bacardi 151. I «enjoy» it over crushed ice in a Starbuck’s thermos.
3. Drink with friends so you can enjoy Loko Beirut, Flip Cup and Beer Bongs. + you’ll have someone to call the paramedics if you start convulsing and spewing colored foam from your mouth.
4. Don’t get Lok’d if you have a history of diabetes, cirrhosis, caffeine dependency, or have suffered from caffeine intoxication in the past.
There is no consensus about which flavor is best, just try to find a readily available one you can stomach.
Blue Raspberry: who’s ever seen a blue raspberry? Tastes like none of the ingredients have even come in contact with a fruit, let alone a raspberry. I think «My Boy Blue» was the byproduct of an accidental fermentation of Blue ICCEEs at a Chicago 7 – 11.
Grape Drank: sizzurp/​lean/​purple drank flavor and get’s you just as mashed up.
Cranberry Lemonade: the International Union for the Conservation of Nature and Natural Resources should put «Cran’ Ma» on its list of endangered species, because it’s harder to find than a living Markhor.
Citrus: currently not available in.Florida.citrus capital of America.
Fruit Punch: Children’s Liquid Tylenol + Strawberry Fanta.
Lemonade: much better than its Joosed counterpart which tastes like carbonated soy sauce.
Orange: carbonated version of Jubilee Mad Dog ²⁰⁄₂₀. Pour some in a clear cup and look at it in a black light… it looks like a sample from the Three Mile Island Nuclear accident.
Watermelon: I once gave this to my alcoholic friend, he took one sip and sprayed it all over the refrigerator. Afterward he vigorously brushed his teeth (with his finger), so I’ve actually never tried it. Mind you this is a guy that routinely slams Steel Reserve 211.
Some say, «Rony Mo why do resort to drinking malt-​likka when you’re an educated professional?» I’ll tell you why… I drink smart.
I like going to upscale bars, but I don’t like paying $ 15 – 20 a drink all-​night, multiple times a week. Take down one Loko pre-​party and you’re good. $ 2.59 is a minimal investment to get the party started right, especially if pre-​gaming isn’t an option and you don’t have the time to kill a six-​pack. An additional benefit I’ve learned after getting «Iced» and «Bacardi Bombed» by my buddies, I learned that malt-​liquor gives me a stomach ache, not so with this product. Give it a chance and I promise you’ll be so blown on that Four Loko…
…and go loco for ‘dem Lokos.