Batteries Not Included

My friend in I went there on 12/​/​7 at about 2:15pm. It smelled like weed when we entered and the salesperson was smoking what looked a thin rolled cigar.
There was another person in the store looking around. We were quietly looking around for a few minutes when I saw a very cool grinder in a glass case and asked to see it (our first interaction with the staff). After he got it out I asked it if it opened on the bottom and he said yes. I tried to open it and when I couldn’t I said «I’m not getting it how does it open»
The employee/​owner obviously misunderstanding me said (in a extremely rude way) that if I wasn’t getting anything could we leave because he wanted to close. As I walked out I told him I was going to buy it and then he shouts at me no I wasn’t.
That salesperson was by far the rudest I have ever encountered and I am 40plus years old. I wound up buying a grinder at a store down the street named Variance.
As a side note we passed by the store around 4 and what looked like the same salesperson was still in the shop!

Anyone look for bachelorette party supplies THIS IS THE SPOT!!! I’ve been everywhere trying to find good ‘dirty’ stuff for my sister’s bachelorette party. I’m so sad that I didn’t find t h is place earlier. I spent more money online on some items than they charged here in the store. The staff is helpful and friendly. The music they had on in the store was SO GOOD!!! I felt like I was at a party. Lol Check this place out for sure!

So disappointed about their return policy becareful cause this store will charge 4 times more for a product I saw somewhere else I don‘t. think is fair for people to pay that much more for something.

FIRSTLY– The blond balding fat man I THINK was doing something sexual with an old guy in the porn room… he came out when the door opened acting «inconspicuous» and smelling SO BAD of b. o and sex. When walking past the porn room, there was an old guy just standing there kind of shifting his «junk»
SECONDLY– over priced. Looks too childish, and the carpet is SHIT.
THIRDLY– where are the chicks? There are NEVER any female employees when I walk in
I used to have a pleasant experience at this place, but in the past year, it’ just… ugh, not a good place anymore. Reading the bad reviews on here seem about right nowadays. Whoever owns this store may as well close it down or sell it.
On a lighter note– thank god those god awful window displays are not there anymore. They were thoroughly offensive sometimes, and some were just TOO much (Kids walk past this store. Really??)

If you are infatuated with the penis so much that you need it on your head, around your neck, on your wrist, in your drink, etc then go here. OR if you’re planning a bachelorette party for someone who might forget what a penis looks like if it’s not dangling from some hot pink trinket… go here.
I am planning a bachelorette party, she is not penis-​crazed so I was here in search of interesting/​odd/​funny/​scary items for giftbags, décor, etc. Mission accomplished. I was a little annoyed at not being offered help or acknowledged at all but 5 minutes before I checked out someone actually asked. I also didn’t really like the manual credit card processing. I’m not sure if this is a typical thing or storm related.
Some of the items were reasonably priced but others made me laugh out loud at the thought of spending more than 5 bucks for something made from paper. If you get a chance, take a peek at the greeting cards, those will make you giggle more than anything else in the place.

When it comes to gag gifts this place is the best. Totally worth the trip before any occasion that calls for a crazy gift. You’ll never know what you’ll find there.

If you are planning or attending a bachelorette party any time in the future, you must check this place out! They seriously have everything you could possibly think of to make your party experience a huge success! It would take me forever to write about all the amazing things they have in this store, so you should just go and check it out for yourself. You won’t be disappointed!

not nice or open-​minded. only good for bad gag gifts. I suppose.

This place had me before walking through the front door… The window screamed come in me now! My friend was having a going away party and I needed a few more unique gifts … Needless to say I was looking for something on the naughty side and I sure did find it. Finger toys rings and alot of other toys made for adults … Had a smile on everyones face there was something for all. Oh yea the penis bag that I put everything in knocked it right out the park… Thanx to the guys who helped me they were very knowledgeable…

Does your bachelorette like penis paraphernalia? If so, this is your Mecca.
I need to start this review by saying that I have a very vulgar little sister. And she’s getting married next month, so you know what that means: Bachelorette party! Because Little Sis M is all about the «peepers,» I knew that nothing less than balls to the walls, ridiculous, embarrassing party favors would be in order. But where do you find all this stuff?
Boystown! Specifically, Batteries Not Included. After an epic fail at Lovers Lane in the burbs, I knew I had to get it done in the city.
Walking in, I was kind of overwhelmed. Despite my truck driver mouth and outgoing personality, I embarrass easily, so seeing so many naked things all up in this store was enough to make me blush. But I persevered and worked my way through the aisles and aisles of gag gifts, awkward party favors and ridiculous games.
What I liked is that the store is incredibly organized. They break it down by bachelorette party stuff, birthday party stuff and uh… toys. The staff is also really helpful and made some suggestions for game ideas and pointed out a few items on my list that I wasn’t able to find right away. And, I cannot stress this enough, the store is really, really clean. I think most people think sex shops are seedy, dirty joints, but B.N.I. was surprisingly bright, cheerful and spic n’ span.
On the minus, everything is SO damn expensive. For real. I blew through $ 100 in no time at all. My wallet was crying. But I came out with everything from glow in the dark penis necklaces, a huge pink penis shot glass (complete with pearl necklace chain… ha!), Pin the Hose on the Fireman games, scavenger hunt games, penis Mardi Gras beads, penis whistles… basically anything you’d be horrified to find at a bachelorette party.
Should I be in the market again for dirty party favors, I know where I’m headed. And if you see me next weekend decked out in peeper paraphernalia at this bachelorette party, don’t laugh at me. Buy me a drink. I’ll need one.

I am pretty horrified at the thought of purchasing a lot of penis laden items for my closest girlfriends and I to carry around whichever bars we decide to go to for a bachelorette soirée but alas, I am responsible for planning a fantastic time for my best bitch. I want it to be perfect and unique, so I have scoured the internet and the party supply scene here in our lovely city and all signs pointed to Batteries Not Included. I was hoping that along with all the penis paraphernalia I could find just some good old girly stuff to supplement the tacky overdone prick theme. I am no moralist, but I just sometimes think (ok, I always think) that the whole penis thing is overdone. I don’t know why I expected to find anything other than that here but I gave it a shot.
I was excited for what claimed to be «Your source for planning a bachelorette party. Ideas, games, party favors, gifts and invitations for your bachelorette party or sorority party!» What I got? Exactly that. They had tons and tons of penis supplies. Straws, glasses, slippers, stickers, boas, bags, butt plugs… They even had some nipple clamps. But that is about it. There was nothing that wasn’t absolutely dripping in wang. Nothing that I haven’t seen at all Bachelorette Party’s past. The girl working behind the counter was nice enough, she’s seen and heard it all so she exactly interested in the Plight of the Prude.
So if this is the route you want to go, then this is your store. If you are looking for something a little more original, even classy (and I use the term loosely) then I suggest shopping online. Oh, and everything I saw here was a good 10−20% (sometimes even 30%) more expensive that the same items I found online.

If you’re looking to see proof of Boystown being taken over by straight ladies, Batteries Not Included is a perfect non-​bar example. After all, I’m cool with this. Where else can you really find a huge variety of bachelorette party gifts, giggles and… Pecker-​ma-​jiggers?! Boas, tiaras, penis shot glasses, silly shirts, flam (fake-​glam) jewelry, sex toys – dildos and all, and a small porn section in a back room. I do have two huge complaints though:
1. The overpricing of simple, China-​made plastic objects.
2. No return policy in place (don’t even think of it, receipt in hand or not).
If you’re in a hurry to find something fun ‘n fast, come here, otherwise I’d purchase it online for better pricing.

Cute store!!! Worth checking out if you are hanging on Halsted. Staff was very friendly. I thought they were a little overpriced.

I had to find some «dirrty» wrapping paper for a friend’s birthday present and I knew this was just the place to find it. Plus, I was in the gayborhood and it was convenient. Anyway, I found my «dirrty» wrapping paper and a variety of gift bags with cocks and tits and all that stuff to fill my hearts continent. I was even able to find a penis sucker ring thing that I plan to use on top of the package with my bow. Nice huh?
So, yes they have all the sex items and gag gifts you would expect to find at a store such as this, but what you might not now is how many MikWright cards they carry. I was shocked by how many cards they sell and how many I had never seen before. Too bad I already bought by birthday cards at He Who Eats Mud. But, I will keep them in mind for future reference because I love the MikWright cards. They’re great… oh, and so is Batteries Not Included.
PS — you have to spend at least $ 10.00 to use a debit/​credit card. I had to buy more things because I never carry cash. They were cool though, my total came to $ 9.22 and was still able to charge it.

The topic of conversation swung to sex toys one (margarita filled workday truant) afternoon, and the gentleman I was with would not believe that a particular item that I mentioned existed. After a friendly wager, we grabbed our check and headed up Halsted to Batteries Not Included where we found said item in 6 different colors! As an avid Seinfeld fan, I can’t believe I didn’t recognize a «Dustin Hoffman Star Wars» bet staring me in the face! Damn margaritas.
I’ll be honest. I can talk the talk, but despite having attended half a dozen «surprise parties», I still become horribly bashful the second I step foot in any sex shop. Some of these items (mainly those intended for bachelorette parties) are meant to be humorous and while I’m no Puritan, I will say that there is also some seriously freaky shit being sold! I’m not one to judge what someone likes in the dark, but my jaw did drop a few times. That fist is HUGE!
While we were browsing, we overheard a serious inquiry to the clerk about butt plugs. As I nervously giggled, I listened to the clerk knowledgeably explain the features of a few in the same manner that a barista would explain different brews. I may have lost the last bit of my innocence eavesdropping on that conversation, but I did think it was interesting that the workers learned the products just like (good) retail workers should.
I’d imagine a lot of interesting types pass through this store and all leave either with a bag of goodies for a party, a bag of goodies for a special someone, or at the least more informed about devices to spice one’s love life — or lack therefore of. Their staff has probably seen it all from the tragically bashful (like me) to the make no apologies «show me your finest double dong» types, so it’s likely you’ll fit right in with the lot.
I pray my poor mother never reads this review!

Ok, so as it turns out I am throwing Andrea W’s (aka Queen of Unilocal Chicago) official Unilocal bachelorette party on this very fine and rainy evening…
SO where to go? Of course, Batteries Not Included. Their website is Bachelorette Party Super Store or something, so perfect!
The staff is cool and fun, not all angsty like Taboo Tabou. They have fun with it, and it’s very laid back and all that jazz, like any good sex shop should be. I mean, how can one not have a good time in the company of any possible type of party favor set to the theme of male anatomy?!
Tiara, balloons, leis, sequined sash… done, done and done. I was in and out in under 5 minutes, but I assure you all… the party will last much longer!
Hit it up! Cheers.

I love love love this store for all of my bachelorette party needs. Penis cake pan? Got it. Straws? Check. After sex mints, condoms, flavored lube? Yes, yes, yes. I even bought a 3-​pack of Playgirl magazine for the party… which my MOTHER later informed me were from 1996, 1998 and 2001. Whatever. Naked boys are naked boys.
Never thought to come here for my personal needs but any time there is a bachelorette party in the air, you can find me spending time and money at Batteries Not Included.

It is a privately owned Spencer’s basically.
Don’t get me wrong, I get a kick out of penis shaped pasta as much as the next gal, but there just isn’t that much to look at in this tiny shop, and even less I look forward to purchasing. Plus the name is a little misleading, I was thinking a vibrator only shop when I first walked in.

Bachelorette goodies galore! Went here because Party City was too far of a jaunt, and I found everything I needed for my gal pal’s b-​party. The woman at the counter was incredibly nice and helpful, pointing out all kinds of things that I could shower my friend with. I impulse-​purchased to my heart’s content and ended up buying a lot more than I had originally intended.
For the small space, they have a pretty decent selection of sex toys, games, etc. If you’re one of those people who is curious about all the wonderful sex amenities out there but can’t bring yourself to set foot in a shop, this is a good place to start: the lady who helped me was completely casual and great at answering any questions (I found myself asking questions I never thought I’d say out loud). Plus, everything’s brown-​bagged, so you can walk down the street without people knowing you just bought that new Rabbit vibrator. ;)

Penis earrings: $ 3.95.
Trial sized lavender hemp massage oils: $ 1.25.
Girl Power, Number 7 DVD: $ 19.
Furry Handcuffs: $ 15.
Finally coming face to face with how huge those butt plugs really are in Janine’s «Where the Boys Aren’t» videos: PRICELESS.