Monique R’s Feet

«You ever go to shake a guy’s hand. And then realize that not all of it’s there?»
— George Carlin
So, I walk into a yoga studio last night, and the thing about yoga studios is this: In order to preserve the Zen-​like calm, profuse sweating and copious amounts of body hair, they choose to disallow footwear.
This can be a good thing for those of us whose feet are newly clean, somewhat sparkling, or maybe just downright amazing. Like most people, really.
However, if someone who is going to the yoga studio does not know this rule, they may engage in one of several activities beforehand, such as.
— Rolling their feet in black paint and making modern art.
— Jogging barefoot through the mud.
— Being an extra on The Andy Griffith Show.
— Doing whatever the hell Monique was up to before she showed up to yoga.
I lurve you and all, miss, but damn. Those talons were scary.
** Disclaimer: Monique, while possibly not approving entirely of this review, was encouraging of it and is most certainly laughing heartily at it. Or at least mildly chuckling.

When not wearing cheap sandalds, My feet are in fact, just okay…
They have some scaring from boo boos acquired over time. But the dye that bled onto my feet was temporary and a result of the tsunami and cheap sandals.
They are all clean now, i promise.
But I have never been known for having 5 Star Feet…