Milano’s Hair Shop

Stopped here for a walk in service. Pat did fair job, fast and no frills, but maybe too fast as he cut off too much side burn without asking first how I would like it. Go with cash he charges extra for credit cards and the phone card reader he has is cumbersome and took forever to work. Although his awning and sign says walk ins welcome, he really is appointment only, which is fine but why advertise walk ins welcome then?
Probably won’t go back.

Never again. That’s the phrase I would use to describe Milanos. I needed a haircut before class so I figured I wood give it a try, no appointment just walked in. First thing he does is chastise me for not making an appointment and that I need to call ahead. When the sign on the door and his business card clearly stated walk-​ins welcome. Whatever I’m not going to argue with the person cutting my hair.
It was all downhill from there. He told me what I wanted was stupid and just started hacking away. Didn’t wet my hair down or anything just started cutting. Didn’t ask how I wanted my bangs, sideburns, or even the top he just did whatever he fucking wanted. To top it all off I have a beard that I’ve been growing out. Without asking raked his shitting ass clippers through it slicing half of it off, and he fucked up my neckline. The leaning Tower of Pisa looked straighter. You don’t fuck with a man’s beard without asking that’s just an unwritten rule.
The funniest thing about this whole experience is that the whole time he was talking he was telling me how he’s the best barber around. How he was «gonna hook me up, just trust me». The guy couldn’t get any more full of himself. Now I have to go get someone to fix this janky haircut because this loser doesn’t know how to cut hair.

Always a solid job, very comfortable shop.. Pat always gets my hair the way I like it. P: s nice lobby. Wish it were closer to where I live.

Pat is Milano the man!
If you want to be told repeatedly how good of a job your barber is doing while he’s cutting your hair, this is the place! He is an artist and your head is his canvas. Like all great artists, he won’t be limited by things like «social norms» or «customer expectations». No, this Warhol of hair is in his keyed-​up, geeked-​out element. Did Dali listen to the wishes of the lanky legged giraffes? No, he didn’t, those stupid giraffes kept their mouths shut and let the master work! It’s not that he doesn’t want you to come back, he just doesn’t care. In all fairness, he did a great job and it was quick. But I can see how some might be offended by his blunt and crass personality, but the world needs colorful people. People like Pat Milano.

This guy inspired me to write my first Unilocal review… and that’s not a good thing. I really truly think that this guy is a legit psychopath. He talked to me about religion the entire time even though he had to notice how uncomfortable I was. I bit my tongue as «God told him» what city I was from. I’m pretty sure that my «from the west-​side of the state» hint helped. He had 50 – 50 odds of guessing Kalamazoo over Grand Rapids. Congrats buddy!
Looking passed this, he decided it would also be fun to take off nearly all of my sideburns when I asked him to clean them up. What kind of a barber cuts first without asking how much? Oh, that’s right, crazy religious zealot barbers. Thank you for the worst haircut experience (for $ 20) of my life, and on my birthday no less.