Arby’s-Feldman Enterprises

Arby’s has long been the sorta-​yuppie cousin to fast food. You know, the guy in your family that goes into like banking or whatever, lives in the higher-​end suburbs, leases a Lexus and generally looks down on everyone else for no good reason. Well, like that cousin, Arby’s thinks it’s better than you, but the only proof it has is high prices for mediocre wares.
This Arby’s is no exception to that rule. Unless Arby’s has a killer sale (5 for $ 5.95 or 2 for $ 3 Beef and Cheddars) it’s best to just stay away. One time, I ordered two 5 for $ 5.95s in the drive-​up without realizing that the promotion was over. This Arby’s went ahead and rang it up under the normal prices and tried to present me with a bill over 25 bucks. Needless to say, I drove away. Fuck that, on Tallmadge Ave, 25 bucks would get me at least 2.5 lap dances, maybe more if I’m not too picky.
There is one thing about this Arby’s that might be unique to the chain, and it’s not good news. The last time this store changed the deep-​fry grease must have when Timbuktu ruled Africa. It’s seriously disgusting. Ordering anything deep-​fried here is as pointless as giving abstinence-​only sex ed for teenagers… it’s a waste of time and money, it causes acne, and it provides nothing useful in return.