Nottingham Belfry Hotel

I was at a conference here this weekend and I had a really good stay. In reference to the earlier reviews– YES, it’s in a business park, YES– it’s 5 miles out of Nottingham. If you’re looking to be in the city centre– this isn’t the place. It’s about a 15 minute drive from central town. Besides these points– the service here was wonderful (especially the lovely ladies at the front desk who were polite, helpful and had a good sense of humour). The hotel has a really lovely spa (with pool, steam, sauna and jacuzzi) which all guests can use (and it stays late/​opens early). It also has quite a decent bar (as hotel bars go!)
I had room service and the food was good– tasty and it arrived hot. I was also upgraded to a really lovely suite! Can’t ask for more than that. It was a very reasonable cost to stay here, and although I was travelling for work, I really enjoyed my stay at the Belfry.

A perfectly serviceable hotel in the Q Hotels chain; located, as seems to be a common theme in hotels I’ve frequently stayed in for business, on a business park. This means, in essence, that it is in the middle of nowhere, or more presicesly, just off the A6002. No wander out into the centre of town from here.
Rooms are smallish, but comfortable, bathrooms good (both real bath and real shower) but spartan. This particular place has a large gym attached, and has ample conference/​event facilities, so seems to attract a very businessy crowd. Catering is adequate, in my limited experience breakfast offers all the standards, I didn’t experience lunch, and ate in my room in the evenings, as I had work to do. I would observe that portions are on the large side, hummus and dips as a starter coming with buckets of sour cream, taramasalata, and hummus, enough for about 3 servings. The selection was reasonable, and better than, say, the Dakota’s room service menu, but a little more pricey.
Staff were friendly and helpful, although I found check in a bit clunky; why would you not want to be able to charge things to your room, if you’re settling the bill ?
All in all, a fair business hotel, or event venue, but I wouldn’t beat a track here for a romantic weekend away, for example.

This place was hilarious. Given that I live in the US, I’m used to obsequious service and flattery and such. Not so much in the Belfry. But it had a kind of lazy charm. The service was so bad it was hysterical.
Example 1. The Bistro bar.
We took two cocktails. They were on special. Caiperoskas. Not bad. Funny little glasses.
«Two more please.»
«We’ve run out of those glasses. How about a brandy glass?»
«Sure, one of the funny little glasses was cracked.»
Glug, glug.
It was 10:55pm and we came back for more drinks and for the pecan pie.
«Two more please.»
«We’ve run out of limes.»
«Ok. How about a long island iced tea?»
«Sorry, no gin.»
«OK. A vodka cranberry?»
«Er. Let me check. Nope. No cranberry juice.»
«Hmm. Ok. From this cocktail menu, how many can you make?»
«Well I’ve only ever made 3 cocktails in my life before. Let me take a look at the ingredients.»
After much ado, we ended up with two vodka and grapefruits or something equally disgusting.
«Oh, and two slices of pecan pie please!»
«Well it’s just gone 11pm and we can’t serve food.»
«Maybe if we asked nicely?»
«Oh no, the chef’s gone home.»
«We’ve been trying to get a drink for the last 8 minutes…»
It went on like this until we gave in. The next night we ordered pecan pie from room service. In plenty of time for the chef leaving deadline stated on the room service menu. 20 minutes later, they called back and told us the chef had gone home.
No pecan pie. Do not pass go. Do not expect too much from the food at the Belfry. Nice view of the B6002 from the hotel balcony though.