Kettner’s

We had dinner reservations at Kettners as it was my birthday and we wanted a nice meal after our show. Things started off fine at the bar, as this is where you wait until the dining area opens for dinner. Now let’s get to the good part once seated we decided on the lobster Mac and cheese and the salmon for starters — since we were starving we put in our starters to look over the menu for our main course — well apparently this is not customary because the server looked at us like we were crazy and then confused me as I could not understand what he was saying– now yes we are in a different country but I have had better conversations with servers in countries where ENGLISH is not the spoken language. It didn’t get easier from there, they brought another tables meal to our table and then left and came back before taking the meal to the correct table, ewwwww why would not at least pretend and take the food to the back before giving it to its rightful recipients
Our food came and for a £30 steak with £2.50 red wine sauce, I was absolutely underwhelmed– I’ve had better cuts of steak at less than half the price — my biggest gripe with this restaurant is the language barrier, I mean the menu is in English and I’m reading it to you but you don’t understand what I’m saying — I personally won’t visit again, the lobster Mac and cheese was the only thing I enjoyed

So I finally got the chance to EAT at Kettner’s instead of just showing up mid-​day on a Saturday for drinking. And I kind of wish I hadn’t, because it has kind of soured my whole Kettner’s experience. (Although I’d probably still come back for a drink or two).
We opted to have our book group meeting here because we were reading Agatha Christie and apparently she used to go there quite a bit. We arrived about five minutes before our booking. We were told we couldn’t be seated yet, but we could wait in the bar. WHICH WAS COMPLETELY OVERFLOWING WITH PEOPLE. It was loud and awkward. Plus I had a bit of a throat thing, so it was hard for me to talk loudly (Cue laughing from everyone who knows me).
Fine it was five minutes. So we waited and got seated promptly at 7:00. It wasn’t as if the restaurant was anywhere close to full at this point. I still don’t know what the five minutes was about. Since I was having a throat/​voice thing, I asked if they could make a Hot Toddy. «No.» Um, Okay… That’s a bit brusque. So we look at the drinks. There was the monthly drink which looked as if it could be a warm cocktail. «Is the cocktail warm?» «No.» Double brusque.
So we ordered. I ended up getting lukewarm tea and a shot of whiskey to make my own version-​ish of a hot toddy. It wasn’t very hot. And the waiter would disappear for ages. It was really strange. I only had one because it’s not as if the waiter ever returned to our table for anything except to try to sell us dessert.
I had the creamy cauliflower soup (well we all did), and it was freaking amazing. I was kind of shocked how good it was. For the main, I had venison with pear, spinach and a celeriac purée. It was also really tasty, but I ate it in like two minutes because it was the smallest main course I’ve had in my life (and it definitely wasn’t cheap). Other people’s looked much bigger. It was kind of strange. I mean it was two tiny slices of venison. Really well cooked and tasty venison, but tiny.
We decided not to go for dessert. Although the steamed ginger sponge looked great. Mostly because it was SO LOUD in there none of us could hear each other when we were talking about the book. It was off-​puttingly loud. Plus since I could barely talk, it didn’t help. Normally I could talk over people like that, but not last night. They also really seemed to want to get people in and out. Our starters arrived quite quickly after ordering (even though they kept us sitting there for ages before we could order).
So the only thing that saves Kettner’s (the restaurant) from getting one star (because the service really pissed me off), is the delicious food. It’s really delicious. Like annoyingly delicious given the service and atmosphere.

Oh Kettner’s, Kettner’s, Kettner’s…It is such a shame that your solid 4* food was completely dragged down by the incredibly crazy loud atmosphere (I can now report back that no, I don’t want to go to a party at the Hall of Mirrors because if it was anything like Kettner’s I would be going slowly, miserably deaf.) and possibly the most curt and monosyllabic waiter I’ve yet met (Alas I think that was his charming personality and not due to the mards). I mean, how many «No» could you fit into a night? Perhaps it’s a cultural thing– my European colleagues always tell me how flowery they find the English and how in England «No» is strangely perceived as quite rude in the hospitality industry. May be our waiter p*ssed us off by just being in the «No means NO» camp of waitering rather than being deliberately rude (though it felt like he and us were having the worst night of our life).
Anyways, cauliflower soup was really tasty and creamy and I liked my fish cakes with brown shrimp butter. It wasn’t anything special but was well executed and big. They were really kind to replace the pea purée (ick) with some buttered veg so I suppose I should be happy about that. I did feel sorry for Grant as I looked over about ½ way into my first fish cake and he’s already finished his meal! It was tiny!
But the NOISE. Oh. My. God. The NOISE. I couldn’t even hear myself eat. And the speed of the service! HOW QUICKLY DO YOU WANT ME TO LEAVE NOW? All in all this resulted in an experience that was quite like eating a yummy meal in a canteen. But waaayyy more expensive.
Also, I am naturally suspicious of establishments who refuses to fling some hot water, lemon, honey and whisky together. It’s basic stuff lying in the kitchen! Yes, a hot toddy could be so much more, but you could just have given us the most ghetto of hot toddies and we would have been happy.
Originally I gave it 2 stars, then I thought… there’s no way in hell you’d get me to come back here regardless of your fantastic food, so 1 star.

Quick summary: The interior is nicely put together. The ambiance is welcoming. And the food is average while service is variable.
One person in our party had an avocado salad, which contained a 2 cm piece of avocado. When she told the waiter that there was no avocado, he came back and pointed at the tiny piece of avocado. It was like a sketch from a comedy show.
I had a salmon dish, which I thought was very well done. The fish was moist and not over cooked. Kudos.
The chocolate pot dessert was chalky and overwhelmingly sweet to the point it tasted more like sugar than chocolate.
Overall, it was an okay meal and worth trying but I would probably not return.

Went here with Mum and Dad last night, and not only have they extended Tastecard so it can be used on the weekend but they’ve removed the menu restrictions so you can now get all food half price. The service was brilliant, attentive but not too much. The food was outstanding. Started with lobster Mac and cheese then had steak then the Oreo cheesecake. It was all very, very nice. My parents loved their meals too. Will be back, very soon.

What a beautiful bar! I haven’t had the pleasure of dining here but the drinking/​cocktail area is absolutely divine. For me it was like a cross between a Parisian lounge and a vintage American ice cream parlour — go there and you’ll know what I mean! Utterly charming and very friendly staff, I will return!

Went with work friends based on reviews here and was grossly disappointed. The place looks nice and the live piano music was great, but the food and drinks were only barely acceptable. My colleagues both sent back their barely cooked chips, my other colleague’s pork was completely over cooked and my mash was cold. Would say maybe come for a drink at the bar for the atmosphere but for anything else, go elsewhere. There are so many way better places around.

Stepping into Kettner’s is a bit like stepping into a bygone era! There was a piano player tinkling away on a white grand piano, our waiter was wearing a bow tie, and the powder room (!) has a chandelier. Our waiter was at our table very promptly, and very happy to get us a carafe of tap water (can’t stand anywhere that tries to convince me I want bottled water instead!) We also ordered a bottle of Chilean Sauvignon Blanc, which at £26 wasn’t cheap but was very tasty. We each ordered a starter and main, I had chicken liver pâté followed by sea bass on heritage tomatoes. The pâté was lovely & smooth, although the toast serving was a bit on the measly side for my liking. Seabass was cooked perfectly, fell apart under my fork, not sure tomatoes would have been my first choice but we’d ordered skinny fries and wilted spinach as sides so that more than made up for it. The reason for the 4 stars is that we had the deal on tastecard, which made it great value, but I don’t know if I’d have felt the same if I’d have paid full price as some of the servings are on the small side. But all in all a great evening in a wonderful setting.

Fabulous cocktails and delicious food.
I had to find somewhere of the right ‘class’ to take my American friends to — this was just the place. A lovely genteel, old fashioned, English restaurant — albeit with a great bar too. Cocktails kicked us off and they were fab — good prices too if you happen to be there at happy hour. Service was a little slow given it was so quiet however we were chatting so much that was not an issue. Food — beef bourguignon was amazing. Real melt in the mouth beef and lovely mash. If anything I would have liked a slightly larger portion or perhaps a serving of veg. Sorbet and coffee to finish. And all in all (for London anyway) a pretty reasonable priced bill. I will definitely be back here!

kettners and I am whisked to an age of extravagance a long time ago. A scene where Oscar Wilde is telling one of his funny anecdotes with a probable motley crew of fellow eccentric artists or laggards. Anyhow, the plush environment sets the scene and I always wonder if I should be wearing attire appropriate for the rooms. There r few places in London which can concoct these feelings of the past in such measures.
The food is secondary when u have this type of ambience. Soup was fresh and the beef borboignone was a little to sweet and dry for me. However this is a place were u can only have fun. The cocktails and wine were delicious and I was upset to be leaving again.

I’ve ended up in Kettner’s three times in the last year or so for drinks — it’s not somewhere I’d usually choose to go, but it’s not to say I don’t like it. It’s a funny place with quite a bit of history having been around since the 1860s and the place revels in telling you all the big names who’ve been in and out in that time (notably Edward VII). I don’t really care much about the ‘class’ of a place, but I feel that whilst the place likes to present itself as oozing class there’s something a little stilted about it. On the other hand, who am I to say considering I’ve never turned up wearing anything smarter than a t-​shirt, so I suppose I’m one of them bringing the entire place down with me. Or something.
Anyway. It’s predominantly a champagne bar carrying stock from 23 ‘large’ producers (the Perignons, Drappiers, and Taittingers of this world) as well as a decent selection from smaller ones. It’s champagne. At a bar. In London. Bring plenty of £50 notes with you if you decide to go down that route. Needless to say, I have not, but I found their cocktails to be pretty decent, if not wholly memorable — I first went on the infamous 2013 Christmas Cocktail crawl in the middle of their Christmas cocktail season (expect cloves, cinnamon, and ginger). At around £9 each the cockatils aren’t particularly cheap but I’ve had worse from more expensive places. Last time I went I totally forgot to RTFM (menu) whilst ordering whisky and ended up spending over £20 on a Lagavulin double (50 ml). My fault kind of, but I was totally stunned that they’d charge that much for a whisky which costs a shade under £50 a bottle in Waitrose. Considering that somewhere like Nightjar charges about half of that price for a comparable drink, I can’t help but laugh.
In any case, it’s a decent place to spend an hour for a drink or two although I wouldn’t make a night of it there. It’s pretty spacious so it’s a decent place to go on the fly on a weekday, although I’m not sure what it’s like at the weekends. Just stay away from the spirits.

Ooh these guys made me feel special! I booked one of their beauitiful private dining rooms for a birthday dinner with my closest friends. I think it was a fairly quiet night for them being a Sunday, but hey that’s the date I was born and may have been part of the reason everything ran so smoothly.
I booked the Cabinet Particulier which is at the top of the house and says it can take up to 18 peeps, but I had 16 and that was about right — you need a bit of space at either end to get around the large oval table that fills the whole room. It was laid out beautifully (crackers and all) and we had a dedicated waiter all night who was very diligent, from handing out Nutty Santa welcome cocktails at the start to telling me I’d run over time with too much chatting at the end woops…
It was a very relaxed evening though and we all chose from the xmas menu on the night which had 3 or 4 options per course. It was spendy at £49.95 a head but delicious food so I think everyone was happy to treat themselves with it. I like pretty much anything involving goat’s cheese but my starter was actually really nicely done. The portion sizes were also generous — I went for the traditional turkey and trimmings main and couldn’t finish it. I was also concerned that the veggies got good value for money and it looked/​sounded like they did, as did the vegan for whom I’d had to give them advance notice and they cooked up a giant cous cous stuffed red pepper for main!
I covered the drinks bill for everyone which was also reasonable — there is an extensive wine list covering all budgets and for parties they’ll usually ask you to choose a white and red option in advance. They don’t ask for a hire charge either which is nice, just a minimum spend that I knew I would meet once you add up everyone’s food and a cocktail each. Having done a lot of research on private dining rooms in London to find this place, this was the usual sticking point!
Would defo recommend for a special occasion — you have complete control over the dress code and can set your own tone with the music too if you like. They have rooms for everything from 10 people up to wedding reception sized. It was such a nice treat to have a space to ourselves, and just made it feel extra special :)

I’ve been to Kettner’s twice now, once for drinks, the other for afternoon tea. Neither time can I say I was disappointed, nor bowled over.
I found the drinks to be pleasant enough, but slightly pricey. Hardly standout.
The afternoon tea was better. I went with a large group of people for a birthday party. Service was quick, friendly and polite. The sandwiches were varied and tasty, the jam and clotted cream good quality, and the cakes imaginative and decadent. The quantity was satisfying too.
One thing I am definitely not a fan of is the white interior. I appreciate they’re going for elegance, but it just leaves me cold. Horses for courses I guess.

We came across Kettner’s by chance while looking for a late-​night drinking venue, choosing this place over a nearby pub as it looked a little classier. However, first appearances turned out to be deceptive — the service, drinks and atmosphere just does not match up to the price you’re paying (£14 for a margherita).
I chose a seasonal cocktail called Cherry Christmas, which apparently consisted of Disaronno, cherry brandy and Prosecco… Unfortunately these tastes didn’t come through at all.
Kettner’s offers table service, but even when we had ordered our drinks it took another 30 mins before they arrived, meaning we had been waiting for over 45 mins with no drinks at all. To clarify, it was not even particularly busy.
As a final disappointment, the bathrooms look beautiful at first sight, but every cubicle was dirty and untidy… Not what you would expect from a place trying to market itself as high-​end. I don’t plan to return

A solid four star place — would have been five star if it wasn’t for the food.
Now, usually I base my ratings almost entirely on the food, but this is a place built on atmosphere and service, and it seemed only fair to take that into account. Both were impeccable. We were sat at a corner table in the back room and yet still felt very well looked after. A person at another table sent a dish back (the dessert special; more on the food momentarily) and they handled it very quietly, with no questions asked. Five star service; five star atmosphere — a beautiful restaurant.
We had three courses, which is a rarity for me, but it was a special occasion. Started with half a dozen oysters (which, at £13.50, isn’t terribly overpriced), which ranged in size from medium to massive, and tasted fresh and delicious. Absolutely no shell or grit in there, so kudos to the shucker.
A bit of a fail on the mains — my partner’s steak was cooked nicely, but had no sear; my duck confit was cooked too long and the skin went beyond crispy to impenetrable leather. But the actual meat was only slightly dryer than I’d expect. It was good, but not great.
For dessert, he got a crème brûlée and I got a blackberry/​apple crumble with custard. Both were delicious.
Overall, this is a great place in terms of atmosphere. And the prices were fairly standard — £16.50 for my duck; about £30 for the steak. The main course was just below my expectations for a truly spectacular meal, but I don’t think it would prevent me from returning. I just might try the coq au vin (it looked delicious) instead.

We came here for drinks. The coctails and the champagne were great, the ambiance great. On the expensive side for what I consider to be appropriate but certainly a nice atmosphere for a drink or two.

I used to come to Kettner’s on a regular basis, but have not been for a few years now. The other day, a friend called to say they have introduced a lunchtime ‘Express’ menu with a price of £9.95 for a main and coffee. We decided that we would try it out and have a late lunch.
The interior is just as impressive as I remembered. I always wondered why such a classy looking place felt so comfortable. I don’t know why this is, but I still felt at ease as I ever did. The staff on our arrival were very attentive and welcoming.
My friend chose the Fish and Chips; I went for the Caesar Salad. We chatted for a few minutes, when the Maître d, came to our table. He apologised for the delay, as he said this was a new menu, and they were having teething problems with the order system. We said it was no problem, but he produced two glasses of complimentary Laurent Perrier champagne for us. We were impressed as we did not feel we were waiting too long.
The portions were great, and not scaled down as I expected them to be for the price. The presentation also made the food seem appealing (I had problems trying to finish my meal as it was such a large portion).
Whilst we were eating our main, the Maître d approached us again and apologised once more for the delay. He then offered us a free desert. I went for a chocolate tart with pear sorbet; my friend went for the crème brulee. I’m not usually a desert person, but it was delicious.
For a budget lunch I could not have faulted this experience. The level of food was only surpassed by the service. We will definitely return.
The lunchtime ‘Express’ menu is 12−3pm. This is the current selection of mains:
Grilled 6oz Rump Steak, Roast Tomato
Corn-​Fed Chicken Caesar Salad
Fish & Chips, Crushed Peas, Tartar Sauce
Pan Fried Loch Duart Salmon, Spiced Warm Potato Salad
Butternut Squash Risotto, Mascarpone, Toasted Almond (v)
Warm Farfalle & Grilled Vegetables Salad, Pesto Dressing (v)

I so wanted to love this place.
I’d been wanting to go for ages, and when I noticed they take Tastecards I was all over it.
For those who have never seen it, Kettners is a bit of an institution in Soho. Beautiful building, beautiful rooms and just generally beautiful place (even the bathrooms).
We started off at the bar and had their champagne of the month, an initiative I always appreciate, as it encourages you to try unusual champagnes, and not stick to the usual Bollinger.
Then we were seated and the service is really good, but I was let down by the food massively.
I had the chicken liver parfait which was nice but not amazing, but my main was the real let down. I had the black ink linguine with seabass and they were two different temperatures, everything was bland and it just didn’t go.
My friends also commented that their food was bland so it was a real shame — also, I hate having to add my own condiments so that particularly annoyed me.
Best part was the icecream: buttermilk and cinnamon. Now that was amazing. But it’s ice cream. Do I want the most memorable part of my meal out to be the icecream?
I’ll probably go again and order something else — anyone can have a bad day.
I’ll keep you posted!

If you are looking for a nice dinner with friends or family, this is a beautiful place. The building and interior are very stylish and gorgeous. It felt like an old house!
I ordered a «Tesoro» cocktail (Limoncello, prosecco and mint). It was very lemony, sweet and refreshing. The Beef Bourguignon was amazing. Delicious, tender and cooked to perfection. The mashed potatoes on the side were also smooth and very flavourful. The table ordered a Gavi wine with our meal and it was wonderful.
I would love to come back again. Also, they do offer a Tastecard discount from monday-​thursday! (Must be called in for reservation though!)

I can’t talk about Kettner’s as a restaurant, as I haven’t been. But as a champagne bar, it consistently impresses.
The word that comes to mind is post. Posh atmosphere, posh drinks, posh waiters in suits. You up your level of class by about a fold and a half just by stepping through the doors.
The bar area is made up of a few lounge like areas with comfortable seating. For the larger groups, there are alcoves with plush semi-​circle benches around the walls and a few tables in the middle. Drink menus come in thick books. There are a few options for cocktails up front (each running about £10) and then page after page of champagne as it goes on.
I’ve tried many cocktails from here and they’re always so perfectly well made. Sweet but not too sweet, fizzy but not overly so, absolutely the best champagne cocktail in the city
So watch out though. On the weekends it can get backed, so you need to book a table ahead. And even then, the service can be… bad. They never seem to hire enough staff so the servers are running around frantically trying to get to everyone, and can even be a bit rude when asking for things like water (they ran out of bottles for water the other night apparently and only had one for 13 people.) So as long as you are not in a rush, then this is a fantastic spot for a drink.